Lost, confused, unseen and used
Dangerously fighting for nothing to lose
My progress is calling, it's noticed I'm falling
It's time for a change, it's time for a move
And I know that it's frightening
But it's oh so exciting
I'm taking a risk
That I know is worth fighting it's
Better to make your mistakes
Than to live without knowing it's
Better to fall on your face than to stay on your feet as long as you tried
Sometimes it's hard to think my time here has ended
It troubles me to think about who I've offended
But I can't live my life,
In the interest of those,
Holding me back when I'm stood on my toes
But too many times I've been risking my life
Making decisions whilst trying to be nice it's
Better to make your mistakes
Than to live without knowing it's
Better to fall on your face than to stay on your feet as long as you tried
Since I saw Greg Holden twice in two days last weekend, I've spent a lot of time in the last week listening to his music that I purchased off iTunes. This is my favourite song because it really resonates with me at the time being. A few months ago, I would have listened to this and thought it was good and moved on. But now is means so much to me. It's funny how things fall in and out of importance in your life. How one month, something could be the most important thing in your world and the next, it could be completely irrelevant. Things change, people change, every moment of every day and it's amazing. I know that change gets a bad reputation, but I'm all for change. Tradition is wonderful, but I've learned that even the oldest and greatest traditions need bending and building and growing. Seeing things differently, new experiences, breaking away from the habitual instincts I am prone to - these are things I love to do. They are what make up who I am every day. And if people don't appreciate that and don't want to be a part of the changing life of Kayley Hyde or whatever, than so be it. But I'm not about to change that part about myself, because it is one of my favourite parts of me. Which brings me back to the song. I've put the lyrics that I feel in particular relate to my life in bold. I'd love to hear what your favourite parts of yourself are or what song currently relates to your life. Now I have too much to do and not enough time to do it before people arrive. Have a lovely Friday. xx
Dangerously fighting for nothing to lose
My progress is calling, it's noticed I'm falling
It's time for a change, it's time for a move
And I know that it's frightening
But it's oh so exciting
I'm taking a risk
That I know is worth fighting it's
Better to make your mistakes
Than to live without knowing it's
Better to fall on your face than to stay on your feet as long as you tried
Sometimes it's hard to think my time here has ended
It troubles me to think about who I've offended
But I can't live my life,
In the interest of those,
Holding me back when I'm stood on my toes
But too many times I've been risking my life
Making decisions whilst trying to be nice it's
Better to make your mistakes
Than to live without knowing it's
Better to fall on your face than to stay on your feet as long as you tried
Since I saw Greg Holden twice in two days last weekend, I've spent a lot of time in the last week listening to his music that I purchased off iTunes. This is my favourite song because it really resonates with me at the time being. A few months ago, I would have listened to this and thought it was good and moved on. But now is means so much to me. It's funny how things fall in and out of importance in your life. How one month, something could be the most important thing in your world and the next, it could be completely irrelevant. Things change, people change, every moment of every day and it's amazing. I know that change gets a bad reputation, but I'm all for change. Tradition is wonderful, but I've learned that even the oldest and greatest traditions need bending and building and growing. Seeing things differently, new experiences, breaking away from the habitual instincts I am prone to - these are things I love to do. They are what make up who I am every day. And if people don't appreciate that and don't want to be a part of the changing life of Kayley Hyde or whatever, than so be it. But I'm not about to change that part about myself, because it is one of my favourite parts of me. Which brings me back to the song. I've put the lyrics that I feel in particular relate to my life in bold. I'd love to hear what your favourite parts of yourself are or what song currently relates to your life. Now I have too much to do and not enough time to do it before people arrive. Have a lovely Friday. xx
13 comments:
This was such a good post. I completely understand what you mean about change; I am the same way. I'm not familiar with the song you posted but I'm definitely going to give it a listen.
The Velocity of Saul At the Time of His Conversion by Okkervil River is a song I'm really relating to right now.
"Enough You and I,
Enough of the fight,
Enough of Prevail or Walk in the light,
While the angels stand by I get high as a kite,
I'm to tired to smile of know that I'm right."
I'm really tired of a farse I've been keeping up for way too long and just want to end it even it's not in my best interest.
As for my favorite part about myself, I like that the more hectic things become the calmer I usually get. I'm really a really nervous and anxious person when nothing is going on, but am usually able to put those qualities aside when things get busy.
Have a good weekend
I hadn't heard of him or that song until now. Just looked him up and listened to it. It's beautiful. Thanks for introducing me to it.
And I agree with you on all points. Change is good, and being yourself in spite of what others may want you to be is very important. A lesson I need to drill into my own brain.
As for the favorite part about myself... I think my ability to see all sides of most arguments easily. It can lead to a lot of fights with people though, as sometimes people just don't get how I can understand a side of a debate even when I don't agree with it.
And as for what I relate to most in that song, definitely "But too many times I've been risking my life
Making decisions whilst trying to be nice it's."
You have no idea how relative this blog post is to my life right now! I just audition for a really big ballet school, but I didn't get in. I'd been preparing for the audition for about two years. Not getting in sort of made me realise that maybe dance isn't as bigger part of me as I thought.
The song "Blink" by Revive definitely means a lot to me right now:
"Teach me to number my days
And count every moment
Before it slips away
Take in all the colors
Before they fade to grey"
I've just been realizing lately how fast time passes and how many moments of my life I don't stop to appreciate.
Aside from being an amazing song, "Holland 1945" by Neutral Milk Hotel really captures the mood of my summer. I'm off to a new life in college, so I particularly like this stanza:
"But now we must pack up every piece
Of the life we used to love
Just to keep ourselves
At least enough to carry on"
I can totally relate. That song is gorgeous. My song right now is probably "Breathe" by He is We.
Harness your heart, and be still now.
Quiet that mind that will wander,
All sorts of dark alleys.
Tragedy strikes your self esteem,
Constantly waiting for an ending,
To all of this.
She opens her eyes,
Suddenly she cries.
Can we help her, can we help her?
And she replies.
You know, I fake it oh so well,
That God himself can’t tell.
What I mean and why my words are,
Less than parallel.
With my feet,
You ask me what I need.
And all I really need,
Is to breathe.
People, they seem so interested.
Only a few get invested,
With all the aches and pains.
Doctor oh, doctor,
Please help her.
I fear she may not be breathing.
Blue lips, and doe eyes,
That’s her disguise.
You know, I fake it oh so well,
That God himself can’t tell.
What I mean and why my words are,
Less than parallel.
With my feet,
You ask me what I need.
And all I really need,
Is to breathe.
I have some minor anxiety issues sometimes and I tend to try to please other people more than I try to make myself happy. So sometimes just have to relax and remember to breathe and everything is fine again.
Especially now that I'm leaving for college. Big life change. Whoohoo. :)
Right now, my song is probably Something to Sing About from the Buffy musical. I can listen to this song all day...
Life's a show and we all play our parts
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts
It's all right if some things come out wrong
We'll sing a happy song
And you can sing along
Where there's life there's hope
Everyday's a gift
Wishes can come true
Whistle while you work
So hard all day
To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world
Don't give me songs
Don't give me songs
Give me something to sing about
I need something to sing about
Life's a song you don't get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse
Still my friends don't know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for
All the joy life sends
Family and friends
All the twists and bends
Knowing that it ends
....
So give me something to sing about
Please give me something
Spike
Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
So one of us is living
The ellipsis is where I took out some spoilers. But anyways, I live this song and I think that it plays a huge importance in my life right now because I'm trying to sort out what I consider to be the right way to live with what my family and society wants from me. From this I'm starting to feel less like Buffy and more like Spike where the only point of life is to keep living and it isn't supposed to be bliss. But this thought is soothing and makes me feel like you can't live life wrong as long as you just live.
I would say that at the moment, the song that sums up my life currently is Symphonic by Emme Gryner.
You said "Don't forget about me,
Don't forget about me"
Like I'd ever forget about you
How could I just change my mind?
My best friend, my other half, my sister-from-another-mother, is going to university in the UK for 1 year. I currently attend a uni here in Canada, which my best friend was wait-listed for. Because she was wait-listed, she decided to apply overseas, where she was born, and was accepted and has decided to go. So unless my school, her first choice, accepts her in the next 2 weeks, she is going away for a whole year. I truly don't know what will happen here without her. I will miss her so much. Just thinking about her leaving makes me sad.
I know that she will go where she is meant to be. And I am so excited for her; I know she's wanted to go back to the UK for years. And we will Skype and msn and Facebook, and whatever else we can think of, and we will get through it. But I'll still miss her.
As for my favourite part about myself...at the moment it's probably my mothering skills. I just came back today from a week as a counsellor at camp, and last night one of my girls was sick, one of them was crying (she lost her father last year), one of them couldn't sleep...everything seemed to go wrong last night, but with the help of my aforementioned other half, we got through it pretty darn well I must say!
Thanks for the post Kayley! I'll have to check out that song :)
(And sorry for the massive post haha)
My favorite part about me is that I can admit when I'm wrong, because it took most of my life to learn it.
Wow, these are all really good comments. I forgot to say what song is realating to my life at the moment. It's The Park by Feist. All of my friends are overseas at the moment, and I miss them so much. Some are getting back next Sunday!! But I keep thinking that I've seen them in the city, or in a park, as the song says. But then I convince myself that it's impossible. It's good song regardless though.
This is from a blog post I wrote a couple of months ago on a similar topic:
I’m proud that I’ve never been high. I’m proud that I am smart. I’m comfortable with the fact that I’m 6’4”. I love that I am so passionate about books. I love that I am 19 years old and stay current with Harry Potter fansites. I’m proud that I’ve help to raise a significant amount of money for organizations like Free the Children. I love that I have blue eyes. I’m proud of the relationship I have with my parents, and that even though I go to school on an island far away from my home on the prairies, I still manage to stay in contact with all of my closest friends. The list goes on, but most of all, I am proud that I am who I am, and that no one, however hard they try or how cliche it sounds is ever going to change that. I may not be the greatest person on the planet, but when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I’m okay with who I am. And that’s enough for me.
This was an excellent post, Kayley. Stay true to the "changing life of Kayley Hyde." x
You're right about change. Whilst it often means going outside my comfort zone, which can be hard work because I absolutely suck at small talk i.e. meeting new people, the payoff in terms of the new experiences is totally worth it.
I love that you're so comfortable with who you are, and that you're not afraid to stick up for yourself, either. :)
I'm going through a phase of questioning right now, so I guess I'm not really sure what my favourite thing about myself is. I like that I'm good at seeing both sides of an argument. I like that I can usually accomplish anything I set my mind to. But a favourite? I don't know.
A song that is good right now is In Transit, by Mark Hoppus & Pete Wentz, from the Almost Alice CD. In fact pretty much anything from that CD. I feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland, not entirely sure where I'm going at the minute.
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