As you guys may have noticed, over the last month or so, I've been very distant on the internet. There are plenty of reasons for this ranging from my need to focus on the work I had neglected while traveling the country, bring up a calculus grade that was plummeting due to missing classes, spending more time on art in various forms, et cetera. But the main reason was just that I had been feeling like I was suffocating online and was severely lacking in creativity on the home-front. After making so many videos this year about the exciting adventures I was having, being creative amidst the mundane was just not really working for me. On top of my videos slowing down a bit, I found that there were certain sites online that were only really leading to me feeling annoyed or frustrated, rather than, I don't know, what are social networking sites supposed to make you feel? Interested? Facebook and Twitter are the sites I am referring to. I've never been a fan of Facebook and really only ever used it for the SAFT (Secret Awesome Facebook Thread - the main for of 5AG communication). But the SAFT has slowed down a ton and so I just sort of took facebook off my bookmark tabs and started to not use it.
Next was twitter. Now, there is a fine line on Twitter between sharing bits of your life and just being damn annoying, let's be honest, haha. Call me a bitch all you want, but it got to the point that I was following too many people because I felt obligated to (friends of friends, etc) and I just don't care if you're hungry or you have to write a 2000 word paper. There should really be a Twitter 101 on the do's and don'ts of the site and what is interesting to people who are not you and what isn't. I do not enjoy putting negativity on the internet, especially to people who genuinely want to hear what I have to say, so I don't understand why other people feel the need to complain to ten, a hundred or even thousands of people. Despite the fact that I make videos on the internet, I've never been the type of person who craves praise or attention. I just like making videos and blogs. I was doing those things when my IRL friends were the only ones reading and/or watching. At any rate, I was just sick of the amount of complaining on that site, so I quietly just removed myself for a bit. In addition, I found that the only things people were @replying me on Twitter anymore were people asking me to do them favours* or asking personal questions. I understand that I make myself accessible, but I just started feeling used, like the people who followed me on that site had access to my personal life, which they don't. Very few people have access to my personal life and mostly those are the people in it.
Taking a step back was good for me and not only did it feel nice not to feel obligated to check so many sites, it meant that whenever I had a funny anecdote, I could just send it to my friends, rather than the whole internet. More communication with those who are close to me if never a bad thing! Not spending as much time online has allowed me to get a lot of work done, paint for the first time in a long time (I'm working on a painting video pretty soon, actually!), make a lot of lists, see about 15 films, spend time with my family and finally watch Sherlock and start Pushing Daisies. May was the most uneventful month of my year so far, it's true, but I was very busy for pretty much all of it with stuff here at school and home.
I'm sure there will be at least one person out there who will inform me of what a massive bitch I sound like in this post and how I should just "get over myself because no one cares," but I hope the rest of you awesome people understand. It is not you guys I was taking a break from, it was just the whole internet experience that I needed to part with before I throw myself back into more videos this summer. I'm not sure if I will start using Twitter again, though. Funnily enough it is sort of like cutting something out of your diet. Once you don't tweet for a while, you realise that nothing is really that pressing to share with 9000** people on the internet. But we'll see!
But now I want to hear from you because the voice inside my head it lonely and tired of talking to itself. What have you been up to? How are you currently feeling about the internet and specific sites? I gave to dash off to my second to last Western Civilization class. Man, I am so ready for summer! This quarter has been an exhausting one, to say the very least. Blog ya later, bros. xx
Films seen in cinemas in May: 14. 9 SIFF, 2 independent, 3 Hollywood.
* I was actually getting complete strangers asking me to make collab clips for them by the following day. I mean, chances are unless I was completely free, I wouldn't do that for my close friends. It just feels a little disrespectful to ask a favour of someone without even giving them time to CONSIDER if they want to help. On or off the internet.
** Just went to twitter to check how many followers I have and oh my god! I had no idea *that* many people followed me. Now I feel vaguely as though I've let 9000 people down...They'll probably get over it.