As you guys may have noticed, over the last month or so, I've been very distant on the internet. There are plenty of reasons for this ranging from my need to focus on the work I had neglected while traveling the country, bring up a calculus grade that was plummeting due to missing classes, spending more time on art in various forms, et cetera. But the main reason was just that I had been feeling like I was suffocating online and was severely lacking in creativity on the home-front. After making so many videos this year about the exciting adventures I was having, being creative amidst the mundane was just not really working for me. On top of my videos slowing down a bit, I found that there were certain sites online that were only really leading to me feeling annoyed or frustrated, rather than, I don't know, what are social networking sites supposed to make you feel? Interested? Facebook and Twitter are the sites I am referring to. I've never been a fan of Facebook and really only ever used it for the SAFT (Secret Awesome Facebook Thread - the main for of 5AG communication). But the SAFT has slowed down a ton and so I just sort of took facebook off my bookmark tabs and started to not use it.
Next was twitter. Now, there is a fine line on Twitter between sharing bits of your life and just being damn annoying, let's be honest, haha. Call me a bitch all you want, but it got to the point that I was following too many people because I felt obligated to (friends of friends, etc) and I just don't care if you're hungry or you have to write a 2000 word paper. There should really be a Twitter 101 on the do's and don'ts of the site and what is interesting to people who are not you and what isn't. I do not enjoy putting negativity on the internet, especially to people who genuinely want to hear what I have to say, so I don't understand why other people feel the need to complain to ten, a hundred or even thousands of people. Despite the fact that I make videos on the internet, I've never been the type of person who craves praise or attention. I just like making videos and blogs. I was doing those things when my IRL friends were the only ones reading and/or watching. At any rate, I was just sick of the amount of complaining on that site, so I quietly just removed myself for a bit. In addition, I found that the only things people were @replying me on Twitter anymore were people asking me to do them favours* or asking personal questions. I understand that I make myself accessible, but I just started feeling used, like the people who followed me on that site had access to my personal life, which they don't. Very few people have access to my personal life and mostly those are the people in it.
Taking a step back was good for me and not only did it feel nice not to feel obligated to check so many sites, it meant that whenever I had a funny anecdote, I could just send it to my friends, rather than the whole internet. More communication with those who are close to me if never a bad thing! Not spending as much time online has allowed me to get a lot of work done, paint for the first time in a long time (I'm working on a painting video pretty soon, actually!), make a lot of lists, see about 15 films, spend time with my family and finally watch Sherlock and start Pushing Daisies. May was the most uneventful month of my year so far, it's true, but I was very busy for pretty much all of it with stuff here at school and home.
I'm sure there will be at least one person out there who will inform me of what a massive bitch I sound like in this post and how I should just "get over myself because no one cares," but I hope the rest of you awesome people understand. It is not you guys I was taking a break from, it was just the whole internet experience that I needed to part with before I throw myself back into more videos this summer. I'm not sure if I will start using Twitter again, though. Funnily enough it is sort of like cutting something out of your diet. Once you don't tweet for a while, you realise that nothing is really that pressing to share with 9000** people on the internet. But we'll see!
But now I want to hear from you because the voice inside my head it lonely and tired of talking to itself. What have you been up to? How are you currently feeling about the internet and specific sites? I gave to dash off to my second to last Western Civilization class. Man, I am so ready for summer! This quarter has been an exhausting one, to say the very least. Blog ya later, bros. xx
Films seen in cinemas in May: 14. 9 SIFF, 2 independent, 3 Hollywood.
* I was actually getting complete strangers asking me to make collab clips for them by the following day. I mean, chances are unless I was completely free, I wouldn't do that for my close friends. It just feels a little disrespectful to ask a favour of someone without even giving them time to CONSIDER if they want to help. On or off the internet.
** Just went to twitter to check how many followers I have and oh my god! I had no idea *that* many people followed me. Now I feel vaguely as though I've let 9000 people down...They'll probably get over it.
26 comments:
No name calling from me. I think your decision was a really good one. It can never be bad to take a step back and focus on yourself when you're feeling smothered.
I'm careful with Twitter and Blogger to only follow the people I actually want to follow. I don't obligate myself to follow people just because.
If people name call you for doing this, then they can't really be good for you anyway.
I'm sorry you feel people only tweet you on twitter for things they want.
I was going to send you a nice tweet saying how much I loved your vlogs but i figured you wouldn't see it, so I'll say it on here.
I only know you through your videos, but you seem so lovely. :')
And of course you're not a bitch.
I'm currently trying to go on the internet less as I'm in the middle of my GCSE's. It's hard, but it'll be worth it!
I totally understand. Sometimes the internet seems to be filled with quite a bit of unnecessary chaos.
Good reason and understandable :) But missing classes?!
- Jason
Well there is always the Oatmeal guide on twitter: Ten things you need to stop tweeting about. On Twitter I only follow people that say interesting things and mine is private so I don't face the same at-reply onslaught problem, I can imagine the annoyance. Most of my time on the internet is spent checking my RSS feeds and reading news. I used to get around 2000 or more new articles delivered to me each day and it became unmanageable especially with school. I since dwindled it down to a handful of sites that I enjoy the most. Now I just have to work on my managing my ever growing instapaper queue.
My roommates recently had to distance themselves from the internet for several weeks in order to finish their dissertations. Sometimes our priorities really do have to become our priorities.
This is pretty much how I have been feeling lately. Well, a little different because I don't have a whole lot of people interested in my social life. Instead, I feel like all the people around me on the internet are becoming close friends, and I'm just kinda here in my own little corner. And somehow that just wants me to remove myself even more from the internet. Yet I'm becoming even more addicted. Sometimes I just need breaks from the internet. Maybe it should be now...
No, I agree wit you
No one should call you a bitch for that, because you're totally not. Needing a break from the internet is completely reasonable. I like that you do what you want and don't care what people on the internet may think. As for me, I use the internet for fun and for communication. If it's not serving either of those purposes, then I don't feel obligated to continue with that particular site or following some other person. And I probably abuse the "hide" option on facebook too much. But if I don't care what someone is posting, I don't want them crowding up my newsfeed. Good luck with your calculus and other classes!
I don't really use twitter so I can't comment on that, but like you I've never particularly liked facebook. It's such a black hole for wasting time, and I don't even get much enjoyment out of it. I just like it as a photo album and link sharing website for my friends. Oh, and creating events is pretty nifty too.
All those status updates of 'Last night was awesome, thanks John Smith and Mary Sue' are either irrelevant to me, because I wasn't included, or unimportant, because I was there and I know how awesome last night was.
That said, as an exchange student, it has helped me keep more in touch with my friends back home. So I guess it's complicated.
I wish I could do what you've done, honestly. I've been out of college for the summer since the end of April, and even with recently getting a job, I'm on the internet all the time. (mostly Tumblr. whoops.) and whenever I use Facebook and Twitter personally, it's to look at what my actual friends are doing or to post things where I'm trying to be funny (and I'm on there entirely too often). it's terrible that people were trying to get that from you with Twitter. it's ridiculous. also, I honestly enjoy seeing that you've posted a new blog entry whenever you post one. I feel like I share a lot of opinions with you (like this entry).
as for what's up with me...I just bought my plane ticket(s) for traveling to and from California at the end of July/beginning of August to visit my best friend and go to VidCon. so I guess that's cool...or something.
Facebook, Tumblr, Youtube and Blogger seem to suck my energy and time on the internet - without recquiring any creative outlet from me.
Removal is good. Real life is better :D
Since I have been back from school, I am not spending that much time on the Internet as I did when I was in school. It's been nice. I've been riding my bike, knitting, reading more and watching old VHS tapes with my sister. Sometimes it is nice to take a break.
You've gotta do what ever you've gotta do. If that means taking a break from the internet for a few weeks, do it. I completely understand, I did the same thing for a couple of weeks. It's really nice to take a break from something you're always doing and just relax.
i did the same thing a few months ago. i deleted my twitter and tumblr and my youtube channel (i made videos for a little while but it just wasn't really for me. i still like watching them though!) and i felt so good after. all of it had become too much of a distraction.
and i don't think you shouldn't feel responsible to those 9000 people or feel like you will let them down. i'm sure they follow plenty of other people on twitter and they probably subscribe to your channel or follow you on tumblr or something so it's not like they won't know about all the cool things you're doing.
good luck with your finals!
~emily
I know what you mean exactly. I just did a massive clean up of my facebook to have a reasonable number of my actual friends (as opposed to those friends of friends who you felt obliged to follow/friend).
I just recently started blogging and I really enjoy it (it was on my long list of creative projects I wanted to start for this summer).I love reading your blog posts and watching your videos. I have been watching your vlogs amongst many others for quite a while now and I think I'm going to give it a try. We'll see how this goes.
*Also I'm obsessed with that listography site you mentioned. So wonderful.
I don't think you sound like a bitch at all. It's kind of funny actually, because I have been doing exactly the same thing. I mean, no one would notice or anything because I don't do anything online that matters, but I just stopped feeling the need to see anything.
The last month has been pretty crappy for me. My granddad died a few weeks ago, and it was a horrible, long death. He got pneumonia, and after a day of anti-biotics it was decided that he would not get better, so the hospital removed food and water. After that he wasn't exactly conscious, because of the morphine, but he did keep getting distressed. He took 8 days to die. I was at the hospital, day and night throughout this. When it ended and I finally got home, it was weird, because I didn't feel the need to fill up the time so much. I didn't check my e mail, I didn't bother with Google reader and I only occasionally went on Youtube if I felt like listening to a particular song.
Now.. I don't know. I'm kind of back. I suppose the fact that I'm commenting on this shows that. I'm only reading though, I haven't yet been on Youtube. I feel very disconnected from everything.
I really wish I was your friend. Honestly you are one of the coolest people I know (on the internet) and you have introduced me to so many new ideas, shows, movies, books that I have to thank you. :) Even though some people may hate on you, I have more respect for you because you stay true to yourself. DFTBA :)
Don't feel the need to justify your actions to people who don't know you. I've taken a two-year hiatus from the Internet (excluding doing research for school), and I felt fantastic afterwards. The only sites I use now are Google and YouTube (occasionally Twitter, but I just hate it so much, I barely log in). On a completely different note, the more blogs of yours I read, the creepier this world gets. We are...we are too alike. I want to paint an abstract painting this summer and make a video about it, I've been making lists of places I want to see, things I want to do, books I want to read, and all that jazz, and...it's just creepy, haha. And I plan on dying my hair red this summer (I saw Florence Welsh's hair and I loved it). Ah, and I've been wanting to study in London for years. CREEPY. Anyway, I apologise for this comment being so long. Just remember that you shouldn't let your life in the "real world" be slowed down by trying to keep up on the Internet. Share your experiences with those close to you first and then the YouTube community, not the other way around. ;)
You don't sound like a bitch at all and if anyone thinks you do they don't quite understand what you are going through. I get the idea of the whole annoying tweeter thing. Sometimes I feel like people just shoot straight to twitter to rant, complain, or reveal way to much about themselves. It's silly really. They make journals for a reason. I don't normally comment on your blog but I do enjoy reading it. I think I'm going to make the effort to leave you more feedback. You are such a unique lady and I find the things you put on the internet quite lovely.
Of course you're not a bitch. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and organize your life. It's a good thing. And anyone who doesn't understand doesn't disserve your time.
As for what I've been up to: I'm already out for summer so I've just been relaxing with family and friends. Lots of swimming and reading and catching up on TV shows. Speaking of which (and I hope you won't see it as an annoying favor), I would love to know what you thought about the season finale of Bones. Please don't feel obligated. I just love to hear other people's opinions and it seems like there are never enough people who love the show.
I hope you're having a lovely day.
I definitely empathize with wanting to be off the internet for a while. I just got back from a 2-week vacation in a place with no wifi, and it was honestly such a relief not to be on tumblr and YouTube all the time. I just felt so much more at ease. As much as I love tumblr and YouTube, they don't compare with a good book (I finished three books over a week and a half) or family time.
I hope you have a great summer before your semester abroad.
I definitely understand this. I've never had Facebook and mainly I just use my Twitter to follow authors, vloggers, musicians, etc. that I like, not to actually tweet, because I just don't have much of interest to tweet about.
Day-to-day, Twitter can be a little boring, or just a collection of announcements of things going on, but there can also be really great discussions (although the character limit makes it maybe not ideal), and there can also be really inspiring, amazing things. I don't know if you've heard about the #YAsaves movement that Maureen Johnson and Libba Bray started yesterday in response to an ignorant article about the content of YA books, but it's turned into a bunch of people sharing what they love about YA books, and is just generally awesome. It's things like this that really make Twitter and other social-networking sites worth it for me - they're not about any individual, but about community, and bonding over shared interests.
I completely understand where you're coming from. Just a few days ago, I stopped checking and updating twitter and even removed it from my bookmarks. I find that facebook and twitter only make people I want to like seem more pathetic when they complain about their hair, assignments, or hunger. Sometimes I feel the need to pull myself from the internet entirely- but tumblr and youtube are too addictive. And great! But addictive.
Yeah, it's for those very reasons why I never got a twitter account. I find that it's like a big mac. You can live your whole life forever without it, but once you taste it, you get cravings. Unless, of course, if you don't like big macs.
I really only like to have internet accounts for things I care about and get excited about. (except for facebook where it helps with group projects for school.) Other than that, I am pretty conservative on what sites I use and who I follow/subscribe to. I want to enjoy every one.
Take time to express yourself in other mediums. It's like in kikki's delivery service where the artist girl (I totally forgot her name) can't think of anything to draw so she doesn't draw for a while and then all of a sudden she gets inspired.
Hey Kayley,
I feel like I understand where you're coming from, taking a break to do other things you enjoy is always a good thing especially when it's from the suffocating internet. A lot of people who might think you're a bitch mainly think that because they don't want to accept that you're right that you have a life and it's not solely dedicated to your viewers. I think it's great that you took a break and got to catch up on a lot of stuff that you love because that's really what's important and what should be your number one priority :]
Also you got me hooked on listography! I love making lists and now I have a place to keep them all organized good luck with finals and have a good summer break
Really nice post Kayley, I always love your honesty as well as your way of thinking!
First of all, THANKS for the list-site link! (I had no idea that existed! But of course it does!) I actually have a point on my summer to-do list that says "make lists!" :)
I totally understand you here... This is exactly why I never liked twitter. There are SO many tweets about absolutely nothing!
I actually like using facebook, but I've also limited my wall and my posts to a small group of people. My actual friends. And I always find it nice when you have a break from all the internet stuff.
I really liked your film festival videos as well!
And I can't wait to see the painting video, and hear about your moving and everything!
Keep it up! :-)
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