Kayley: WRITE MY BLOG
Kayley: FOR BEDA
Kayley: you can write aaaanything
Adam: that's exactly what i was planning on!
Hello, my name is Adam. I am the unfortunate bearer of the bad news that I am not Kayley Hyde and, no matter how I try, will never be (unless you count my Sims character). However, I am her substitute today. Think of it like this: Kayley is the accomplished, beloved English teacher who is off on some radical vacation in Cabo or something and I am the fresh-out-of-college substitute who is terrified of the students.
This blog post is now about substitute teachers.
When I was in middle school, there was a legendary substitute teacher named Mr. Beck. He was everyone’s favorite because halfway through class he would stop everything and read from the Darwin Awards. Also, you know that episode of Boy Meets World where Eric lives in the wilderness and carries that lollipop on a necklace? Mr. Beck totally did that. Now that I think about it, that was sort of disgusting because he had a pretty hairy chest, but at the time we thought it was the best thing ever.
My worst substitute experience was in 7th grade science. We got one of those aforementioned fresh-out-of-college subs. He came in wearing a t-shirt from some band we had never heard of, skinny jeans, and Chuck Taylors. He didn’t look like an authority figure and we didn’t treat him like one, because at age 13, children are horrible and ruthless. We had a science question that we would have to answer at the start of each class, usually something like “Explain subduction zones” or “Give an example of an igneous rock”. This guy’s question was “Are there any absolutes?” and then attempted to lead a class full of 7th graders into a deep philosophical discussion. It did not go well. He spent the rest of the class looking dejected and reading a book about taxes.
Substituting seems like it would be an awful job. You never get a chance to establish any sort of reputation or relationship with the kids and just sort of drift from place to place. I think that middle school substitute ranks right up there with stablehand in terms of unpleasantness.
So the moral of this blog post is be nice to substitute teachers or something. I dunno. I’m just a sub, don’t expect too much out of me.