Action and Reaction

I haven't played sports in four years, this spring. Spring 2007 I played caught my last ball as a catcher in softball, took my last foul shot in basketball. I don't know if it is something that I necessarily miss, but it was always so nice to know that I had something. I was an athlete. I was bigger than me.

I have tried a lot of things in my life: surfing, horseback riding, dance, just to name a few. None of them stuck, though. At the end of each one of those failed attempts, I was a softball player or I was a basketball player, depending on the season. I was one of the fastest players on every team I was on, they called me agile, but had my fair share of injuries. Oh the number of times I sat in the bullpen or on the sidelines holding a bag of ice to some part of my body, longing to be back in the game. Every game hurt. Not just physically. Whenever you put yourself on the line, depending on others for your victory, it hurts. So many nights I went home aching in both body and mind, but no matter how hard it became, I kept going back.

There were times that I said to myself, "I'll never be behind the plate again," or "never again will I stand on that key." But something pulled me back every single year. It was not a competitive nature; yes, I played to win as anyone would, but that was not what was most important to me. Nor was it an undying love for the game. Every sport has its ups and downs and at the end of the day, I could usually only see the downs. It was my desire to feel something bigger than me. When you play in a high intensity game, you start losing sight of the reality outside of the field. In those hours, nothing mattered besides how far forward shortstop was playing and the crack of the bat.

"Perfection, that's what its about. Its those moments when you can feel the perfection of creation, the beauty of physics, the wonders of mathematics, the elation of action and reaction. And that is the kind of perfection that I want to be connected to."

I do not talk to anyone from any team I was ever a part of, to be honest. I am not great at keeping in contact and life moves so quickly in every direction that keeping up fades in comparison to simply holding on. I never even really had a strong connection to one specific person. But when you're together, working to achieve something...There is almost no stronger bond. The only experience that I have ever felt that challenged it was theatre, for which I gave up the athlete inside of me. But not even the emotional turmoil I experienced time to time on stage really compared to the physical struggle and emotional fatigue of playing sports.

Theatre is not something that I could ever regret, for it gave me more than I could have ever imagined. It filled the void that sports had left and gave me stronger bonds with other humans than I ever felt towards a team member. But whenever I watch a game on television or make my way to Safeco Field for a Mariners game, there is a definite pang that I can only interpret to mean that part of me never wanted to leave the field. My life would be so different had I taken that path.

Sometimes I just worry that nothing will ever give me the same simple satisfaction while I'm here. Yes, traveling fulfills me in every way, but that is not something I can do often enough to feel whole. Yes, it fills a part in my heart and soul that nothing else begins to touch, but in a world so large, in a universe so vast, I cannot help but think it will never make me feel a part of something in the same way. And even if it could, once more, it is not reasonable in funds, nor possible in a frequency that I require.

I have always known what I wanted, even that day I decided to zip my bat bag up for good. That was the next step in my life and I knew that I would find fulfillment in other (metaphorical) fields. Now I am not so sure. Every option seems unlikely to give me such a feeling. I have never been so unsure about anything, except that the aching of body I use to feel after a game no longer persists, but the aching of mind, which no longer has ties to any sport, will not be cured. Not yet.

The King's Speech (review)

Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, just…so much right. As I’ve said before, I’m sure, it never ceases to amaze me when I see an ensemble of British actors. It is as though I have walked into a party with all of these brilliant, talented people and they’re all doing what they do best. This is the reason why about 85% of my tweets are me being astonished by the fact that every time I watch a British show/film, my mind is blown because there is someone from another show/film that I’ve watched in it. You think I’d get use to it, but I just get so excited. Anyway, onto the review.

Something that most people don’t know about me is that I am absolutely fascinated by history, particularly American history and the history of parliament in the United Kingdom. Despite my belief that monarchy nowadays is essentially irrelevant, I have read more Queen Elizabeth I biographies than I really care to admit. Therefore, upon hear that there was a film in production based on King George VI, I was pretty excited, to say the least.

I do not even need to stress how absolutely beautiful the cast was in this film. Colin Firth is more breathtakingly talented every time I hear him speak, stuttering or not. Helena, who I haven’t really seen outside of marginally insane roles in a few years, really surprised me with a calm, gentle demeanor she rarely breaks out on camera. Despite both of them, Geoffrey Rush absolutely stole this film. It helped that his character has one of the most interesting stories, but he was just fantastic. The whole cast was, really. The only issue I had with casting was probably Timothy Spall as Churchill. I have a lot of respect for Winston Churchill, but nothing in this film really made me want to like the man Spall was playing.

Historical films are always to be taken with a grain of salt because it is hard to tell what is accurate, how much was exaggerated for the sake of film, et cetera. Regardless, this story was just damn good. I laughed, cried, felt emotionally invested in characters. This was the first film in a long time where the audience felt the need to clap afterwards and I went quite a few weeks after its release, so that is saying something. This is the story of the ultimate historical bromance.

Period films always have the most gorgeous cinematography and this was no exception. Danny Cohen, who was also the cinematopgrapher for the incredible film Glorious 39, had a way of framing the actors to one side, which I found to be incredibly aesthetically pleasing. Not a technique I see often outside of over-the-top artsy pieces, but it really worked with The King’s Speech. Just the framing of the whole film was so good. David Seidler, who I have just found to have a rather unimpressive writing filmography, did an outstanding job with the script. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that everything coming out of those charming actors mouths was written by an even more charming wordsmith. Costumes and set design both deserve awards and were just gorgeous. Not to mention Alexandre Desplat’s beautiful score. (Off-topic note: does anyone else feel like he is taking over the whole film score industry or something? I swear, every film I go to, he has scored it! I’m not complaining, it’s just crazy.)

I am not familiar with Tom Hooper’s other work, but from the wonderful words Colin Firth spoke about him in his Golden Globe acceptance speech and just by seeing the film, he is an incredible man and director. He took a story that some would say could be told in no time at all and kept his audience captivated for the whole two hours or however long it was. It was not until I left my seat that I realized how long it had been. I honestly cannot wait to watch this again, whether it is in the cinema or on DVD, but I will definitely be watching it many more times in the future. I highly recommend The King’s Speech to any audience that would probably be reading this.

Tangled (review)

Let me start off by saying that I am a massive Disney fanatic. My whole childhood revolved around when the next Harry Potter book would be released and when the next Disney film would come out (or when I'd be heading to Disneyland next). I am a big fan of all things Disney, assuming the Disney Channel is not actually Disney but some disgusting industry taking the name in vain. So I went into Tangled expecting to enjoy myself, but not have my world altered. I'd say that I left feeling somewhere in the middle of those two, but definitely with more enjoyment than I had presumed. This film had a hell of a lot of hype. I had heard that it was the best Disney film since Beauty and the Beast, that it would change the way I thought about cartoons and various other wildly unlikely scenarios. And, you know, I did like it. But it didn't blow my mind or anything.
I do not feel like I know enough about animation to comment on that element of the film, but I certainly believed that the animation of Disney films is becoming more and more human every time. I am not an avid cartoon watcher because the inconsistencies within them always drove me mental and luckily, I never feel that way during Disney films. Especially not this one. The animation was consistent, human and, well, pretty. As for the characters, I really did like the two leads (are they leads in cartoons? I'll just go with that). I did not even REALISE that Mandy Moore was in it till near the end and I'd never heard of Zachary Levi, but they both had very good voices for their roles. I found myself relating to Rapunzel in a way that I normally do not connect to cartoon characters. Essentially, I really adored her desire to achieve her dreams and her willingness to pursue them despite being help back. I am a bit of a sucker for motivated characters, so she was definitely brilliant. I found Flynn to be interesting and his growth in the story, while predictable, was precious.
The story is also a hard subject to comment on because it was hardly original. I mean, Rapunzel is Rapunzel, a few alterations or not. I won't say I didn't like it, but I think I wanted more. Yes, I got lost in the film and this world, but I definitely wanted more depth in general. My favourite scene was absolutely the scene in the midst of the lights; it was breathtakingly beautiful and warmed my heart so much. Speaking of that scene, the music was really sweet, too. While I don't think it deserves awards or anything, the score was really appealing and the actual songs provided many laughs.
Have I even mentioned the horse? I freaking loved Maximus the horse. At first, I thought he was just going to be annoying throughout the film, but yes. Definitely learned to love the little guy. My affection may be biased, however, since I have been feeling nostalgia for my horse-riding days as of late. Horses are such beautiful, majestic animals and I took advantage of my time with them and didn't appreciate it enough. I think that I'll find somewhere to go horse-riding soon. Anyway. Hey there. Sorry, let me wrap up the review.
Tangled, while a really lovely and appealing film, is not something that I plan on seeing again outside of DVD. It was fun and the scene with the lights made the film for me. I would recommend it if you think that is your type of film, but I wouldn't really go out of my way to try and convince someone to see it. Let me know what you think of Tangled in the comments and just remember that everyone has different opinions. I PROMISE that I will review The King's Speech next. Promise. I think.

Happy Nerd

So I was thinking the other day as I was surrounded by friends I had met primarily due to the internet and the nerdy videos I began making a few years ago that I get nerdier every single day. It's just been one of those weeks where I just keep having these moments where I realise how much of a social outcast/awesome person I must look to an outsider who doesn't really understand YouTube and just nerd culture. I mean, my ideal night is watching reruns of Bones, reading from The Brilliant Book of Doctor Who 2011 that my mom recently sent me or going through DVDs to find easter eggs. Maybe using my free time playing Donkey Kong Versus Mario on the DSi*, which I'm still getting the hang of despite having it for so long since that whole "free time" thing is pretty rare in my life. (The game is really fun, by the way. I've only just started, but it really brings me back to watching my brother play video games for hours on end and not letting me near the second controller - ah, nostalgia.)
Last night, I was so ready to get my reading done for class this morning, until I checked the mail and realised that my two-disk DVD set of The Social Network had arrived. How can I resist watching the bonus features of a nerdy film about social networking starring Andrew dreamboat Garfield? I don't know how, but I did. However, it is definitely on my to-do list this weekend along with film reviews for Tangled and The King's Speech, as previously promised. There it is again, by the way. I am adding blog film reviews to my to-do list. I freaking love being a nerd. There is little I enjoy more than re-watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica and discussing on skype with my friend Emily how much we love Angela and Hodgins. It's just being a nerdy human being comes so natural to me. I accidentally let slip the other day that I had purchased TWO rather expensive vintage stoles in the hopes that one would look like the one Emma is wearing in this video and hoping I could sell off the other (click here if you're interested!) to a friend here at school. She looked at me like I was actually insane. I mean, sure, it's a bit eccentric, but I know that many of you will agree that it is a rather logical idea. Especially if I want to dress like Emma with Shawna at VidCon. #nerdpriorities
Sorry if I'm ramboling. I just think it's awesome that there are tons of people who are a lot like me in this sense and just really enjoy having as many nerd outlets as we have on the internet. There's something new to be excited about every single day. I mean, did you SEE Spiderman!AndrewGarfield? So good. In case you're interested, I posted some new photos up here and I have this new video that I made all about my friend Johnny's stay in Seattle. There is karaoke within, but don't worry, you never hear me sing. Hopefully will have those reviews up later this weekend and if I don't, hope it's a good one!

* I was sent the game + the DSi as a Nintendo Ambassador by Brand About Town, but they have not paid me to talk about it or even asked me to do so. All my own opinions and such :) xx

Boy A (2007) review

Much to my dismay, my textbooks have not yet reached me here at university. This means, among other things, that with my time not being filled with reading and doing homework...I've been rather irresponsible. It's hardly my fault, though! I would do my work if I could. Regardless, the point is that I have spent my time finishing Bones (omgsogood) and watching films. Last night, it was Boy A. This *was* a rewatch, however the film definitely had more of a punch the second time. I do not think that I gave it my full attention the first time around. I have since chastised myself for such negligence, I promise. So on with my review. (I really do need to watch more films that I don't like. My reviews tend to be mostly positive. Ah well, I just don't waste my time or money on something I don't think I will enjoy properly!)
Let me start by saying that if you are not a fan of disturbing character films, this is probably not for you. Boy A, based on the novel of the same name by Jonathan Trigell, is the story of a boy named Eric. Well, Jack. See, at a young age, Eric fell into a friendship with a boy with a lot of issues who brought Eric down with him. It starts off with stealing candy from a shop and crimes escalate into the murder of a young girl. The film follows Eric, who changes his name to Jack to conceal his former identity, after he is released from prison.
Let me start by saying that I am enormously biased because I would probably love High School Musical if Andrew Garfield's face was in it. (Probably.) However, I know that I am not alone when I say that he is absolutely brilliant. His mannerisms and physically never cease to amaze me in every single one of his roles. He can completely lose himself in characters in a way so many other actors cannot. This film is no exception. He plays haunted so, so well. His name is the only one in the ensemble that I am familiar with, but what a cast. They all worked so well together and had such a potent script to work with. How could it go wrong?
In addition to the powerful acting and script, this film was shot very well. It was clear that the cinematography was not suppose to distract the viewer from the film in any way. It was it's own entity, yes, but it was not flashy. I really appreciated that. In a film with such strong acting and such a tragic story, I don't want to be focused too much on the visual aspect of the film.
It's pretty hard to give this film a thorough review without revealing too much that I wouldn't want you seeing for yourselves, so I'll leave it at that. This film leaves me feeling shaken in the best way possible. Or, you know, one of the best ways. I'd love to hear what you have to say if you have seen it and I really encourage you to give it a go if you have not. Have a lovely week, everyone! I'll work on a review for The King's Speech this week and hopefully have it up pretty soon. Spoilers: it's another good one. Sigh, so predictable, Kayley. So predictable.