My Style

So for my final BEDA, I decided to blog about something I have always gotten asked about a ton and never really talked about. So here we go: I get a lot of questions about my style. I've always been really interested in fashion and it's something that I really wanted to pursue for quite some time. The weirdest thing about my style is that people see me from the waist up and yet, somehow, always tell me how fashionable I am or how they wish they dressed like me. I could be wearing sweat pants below that camera frame but damn, do I have stylish shoulders! Haha. I'm not saying I don't appreciate it, and I actually don't even own sweat pants, but it's just crazy how I've sort of gained this reputation and a stylish person on YouTube out of nowhere. But I thought it would be fun to tell you guys a bit about my style, why I dress the way I do and things of that nature. As usual, it is going to be in list format.

• Whenever people ask who or what inspires me, I sort of divide it up into three sources: Keira Knightley, fashion blogs and hobbits. Yes, you read that right. I have this strange habit of constantly buying or loving items of clothing which look like something Frodo would trek across Middle Earth wearing. I mean, I love Lord of the Rings, but this is just taking that a little too far. It's totally unintentional, too! Keira has always been an over-all inspiration of mine and whenever I see pieces that remind me of things that she has worn in candids, I automatically want them. Fashiontoast has been my favourite fashion blog for years; Rumi dresses like I would if I had the money. I also love beautycrush's style and she is the only guru I still watch on YouTube. Oh! and I take a lot of inspiration from Free People's blog.
  
• As a quick side-note, I don't wear that much make-up. If I was better at applying it and maybe if I wasn't so pale, I'd probably wear more eyeliner, because I love how it looks when applied right. But pretty much all of my make-up is MAC, which is not too cheap and not too expensive. I don't wear foundation, just some concealer and tinted moisturizer. I used to wear a lot of lipstick, but now I only do when I actually do something interesting. Also, Rosebud Salve is magical. I'll just throw in this note about my hair, too: I'm a natural blonde, I get my hair dyed at the salon I've gone to my whole life and say "Jen, make it bright red, please" and she does her very best. It's also naturally straight, but I'd been perming it since I was twelve. So now it doesn't know what it's meant to do.
  
• Back to clothes. Basically all of my shoes are either boots or heals. I own a pair of black and white Converse's from long, long ago but never really wear them. I don't like flip-flops at all and I was so annoyed when I had to buy a pair last year to wear in the residence hall showers. I am just perfectly happy wearing my beautiful All Saints boots, which were a very generous Christmas gift from my mother this past year, super old We Who See heeled boots or one of my other pairs.
  
• If I could, I'd shop at Free People, All Saints and a little Anthropology. However, I get most of my clothes from the $10 or less sales rack at Urban Outfitters (finding good things there is like a game to me). Very occasionally I get clothes at Target, Forever 21, thrift stores, et cetera, but I don't really shop as much as I did when I was in my early teens and I'm still relatively the same size, so I don't need too much. Also, I'm cheap. And broke. It's a good mix.
  
• I am still wearing the same pair of jeans I bought when I was about 13. Well, not right now. But you get the point. They are from Urban Outfitters (go figure) and there is a part so worn on the butt that I worry at any day that they it will wear away. But I just do not like wearing jeans and so they aren't worn too often.
• The person who invents indestructible, or unsnaggable, black tights will be my hero. I go through at least a pair every two months, if not more. My favourites are DKNY, they are $11 at Nordstrom and pretty good. Also, occasionally my mom buys me Spanx and those are amazing, but too expensive for me to buy myself.
  
• I really love the idea of tshirts and own way too many (like, I have a whole drawer at my parents house filled with novelty, Harry Potter, event, etc tshirts). But I almost never wear them. I've essentially cut myself off. I even resisted buying this baby from Comicon. Now that is self-restraint.
  
• I've been in love with maxi-dresses forever and recently found one that ACTUALLY looks good on me. It's glorious.
  
• About 85% of my wardrobe is black.
  
• I do not have my ears pierced. When I was younger, it was because I had a petrifying fear of needles that was so strong the word sent me into minor panic attacks (this actually only faded away about two years ago - I think it was all of the television because those babies are everywhere.) Then as I got older, it was because everyone wanted me to and that is no fun at all. Now, it's mostly due to the fact that I'm too lazy to clean them and I would spend way too much money on earrings. I have been given a few lovely dangling pairs in the past (these and these, for instance) and have converted them into clip-ons, but those hurt so I don't wear them too often.
  
• I love asymmetrical clothing. It makes me really happy for some reason.
• I'm a sucker for sheer clothing.
  
• Most of my wardrobe is useless in the summer; too many bulky sweaters and knee-high socks.
• My favourite designers are Alexander Wang, Marc by Marc Jacobs and Chloe. Favourite models are Lily Cole, Vlada Roslyakova and Chanel Iman.
• Size means nothing almost nothing to me. The sizes of my clothes are all over the place. Some large, small, extra large, medium, it's weird. I just never wear the right size of anything, really.
  
• My essentials/favourites: black tights, black shorts from American Apparel to go under skirts, baggy tops, oddly shaped sweaters that are almost wider than they are long, interlock miniskirts, tall socks of any colour/material, weird dresses, aforementioned combat boots, ponchos and wraps instead of jackets or coats.
  
• Ponchos. I am developing a collection and I cannot stop. I just love them so much.
• I recently got my first pair of Toms. Previously, I was never really a fan because they didn't look comfortable and freaking EVERYONE at my school has them and basically thinks they are saving the world every time they put them on. However, I was totally wrong about that first notion and while I am definitely right about the second, I just ignore it. I quite like them and they have elephants. So that's nice. And I'm happy to support a good cause. Not sure if they are worth the slightly painful amount of money ($50 for casual shoes? I'm cheap), but telling myself I actually bought two pairs helps a bit.
  

I think that is everything. I'm sure very few of you made it through that mess, but if you did, I hope you enjoyed it! BEDA was fun and I hope you had fun, as well! Sorry to any males that may have been rather disenchanted, but I did like talking about fashion/girly stuff :D xx

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 15.

I don't even know

Sitting in history and discussing Alexander the Great's successors. From what I can gather, it was a bunch of his old friends fighting and trying to prove their phalanx was bigger than everyone elses. Oh men, you never change, do you? xD
Anyway, hi. So BEDA is almost over. That's pretty crazy. I've shared with you some of my favourite things, discussed forced creativity, discussed my focus issues, shared some pretty big news about my future...It's been fun. I was thinking today about whether or not I'd do this again in August and I think I probably will. I am planning on doing a ton of traveling in July, as in almost the entire month, so I think it would be cool to write blogs most days while traveling and post them exactly a month later. But now that I have said that and some of you may get excited...it may not happen. Also, I was thinking of doing more photo diaries. Maybe a photo a day in August? Or just in general, I don't know. I'll also be planning to move to another country in August, so I'm sure that will be stress free and easy.* We'll see where life takes this blog.
As for me post-BEDA, I will be spending a lot of time, hopefully, off of the internet. All of this Open Letter to YouTube drama has sort of run me down a bit. I've spent the past week watching SO many videos about that and simultaneously trying to cut back on the negativity and spread some YouTube love and it's just meant a lot of time on the internet. Not complaining, though! I've watched SO many awesome video responses and it's been incredible finding new people to watch, it's just been a bit overwhelming. Also, I really should remember that I am a student from time to time and this quarter has not been a very good example of that, what with the Nintendo thing, Miami, BEDA, et cetera. I will still be putting up videos and everything, it will just be nice to take a small step back from the internet for a bit. Except tumblr. Let's talk briefly about tumblr.
There is nothing about tumblr that isn't totally selfish for me. The reason I don't have an ask box over there, as some people ask from time to time, is because it is like my playground. There is very little I find less stressful and more fun than digging through tumblr to find things that interest me. I find myself getting inspired a lot over on that site and while I do spend too much time there, the benefits totally outweigh everything else. I'm just a huge nerd and I love me some Doctor Who graphics or Battlestar Galactica quotations. So basically, I don't want to treat it like a formspring where I see that I have questions and hesitate to look because someone may have just called me some silly name for no good reason. Basically, I have so many other ways for people to contact me that I never want it to become a place of negativity or somewhere where I feel obligated to respond.** This is also the reason I post so much. I have a system for my tumblr and so I basically just queue everything I see or like, unless it is clothing-related inspiration, which I 'like' because then it's easier to go back and find. There is a method to my madness and yes, I do overthink this. I'm painfully over-organised sometimes. But my tumblr has been my getaway on the internet since I got it back in 2007. (That's right, I'm an old-school tumblr. How hipster is that?)
This was just a weird post. I don't know how we got to this point but to sum it up:
- BEDA was fun.
- I'm going to take a sanity leave from most of the internet for a few weeks.
- Tumblr is my favourite thing ever.
Sorry if this was hard to follow. I'm just having a rough couple of weeks and therefore my mind is all over the place, all of the time. Let me know if you guys had this fun this BEDA, whether you did it or were just following others. And reassure me that I'm not the only crazy one who organises her interneting. That's not a word. See you guys tomorrow!

*I am full of lies.
**The reason I deleted things like formspring and vyou was just because I'm obsessed with responding. I hated knowing that there were questions waiting. It's like knowing there is mail and not being able to go get it. I'm ridiculous and it was frustrating.

Recently on YouTube

So instead of blogging today, I decided to share a few videos that have been uploaded recently that I have really enjoyed. Of course I planned to do this and I am not stressing about the international politics exam I have in eleven hours, what are you talking about?







In addition, Bones tonight was so fantastic, I got a lot of really good news today and studying terrorism while sick and tired will lead you to believe that everyone is out to get you as a result of your efforts to integrate democracy into their nation. Or something.

Flights: 10.
Films: 14.

Andrew

Today, my dear readers, is my brothers 22nd birthday. I was going to write some long, sappy post about how I've always looked up to him and how he has inspired me to do so many things and always makes me laugh, but you know what? I already wrote that in his birthday card. So instead of that, I'm just going to list some of the most memorable moments the two of us have shared. Most of which you, reader, will not understand. Forgive me for that, but let's proceed...

• Andyland: the theme part Andrew created in our backyard. Being pushed around in a wheelbarrow, sliding down the tarp slide, Beep and Bop's treehouse and hammock, et cetera.
• Mr Crabs and the other characters in the stories he would create for our cousins and I to journey around their beach house listening to.
  
• Him letting me win 007.
• Dicks v McDonalds jokes.
• Seeing him on stage in The Whole Darn Shooting Match.
• The Grand Canyon and how he FREAKED out anytime I got near the edge.
• Harry Potter film releases.
• When he stole the remote, shoved my face into the couch, put a pillow on top and sat on me. (Didn't say they were all good...)
• The first time he let me borrow a Harry Potter book.
• Bend, Oregon.
  
• Christmas shopping.
• Disneyland, so many times.
  
• The Lost Bar with Mermaid Mists and Pirates Treasures.
• Stories of Yoshi.
  
• Rusty the Rooster.
• Reggie and Winnie.
  

And I am officially too tired to continue. Time to relax and study for an international politics exam. Exciting stuff, my friends. Any memories with your siblings?

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 14. Watched The Terminal for, believe it or not, the first time last night. It was really good and I am so shocked that I hadn't seen it before.

Hanna (review)

Every now and then I see a film that rekindles the flame of film-school desire and makes me want to make a drastic change in my life. A film that makes me want to change the style of my videos or change something about myself or my creative intuition. This time, it was Hanna. Joe Wright is, after Peter Jackson, my favourite director. Atonement is one of the films that has changed the way I see the world and even the films whose scripts I don’t necessarily care for, like Pride and Prejudice (not an Austen fan) and The Soloist, are so brilliantly directed and wonderfully constructed. Hanna was no exception and damn, it was good.

First of all, it is so rare to walk into a cinema and know nothing about a film. It is equally rare to thoroughly enjoy a film with an original screenplay. All I knew about Hanna was the director and the stars and that was enough to get me through the doors. Hollywood seems to be losing more and more interest in silence as the years go on. I do not mean dramatic pauses because there is no such thing as a dramatic pause when there are good actors involved, I mean silence. Real, meaningful silence. Seth Lachhead brilliant executed such moments throughout his story and screenplay and I just wanted to take a moment to pass on my deepest thanks. The writing was quick, clever, intelligent and beautiful. All in all, a gorgeous screenplay.

Speaking of gorgeous, this film was nothing short of beautiful. Saoirse Ronan, one of my favourite actors for years now, has the most penetrating eyes in all of cinema, only possibly rivaled by Elijah Wood’s, and she knows how to use them. The set in the middle of the woods was absolutely ethereal. Every set, not just the Brothers Grimm, was stolen from a book of fairytales. Saoirse is a swan in the middle of a blizzard; the picture of grace in the harshest of settings.

Not normally an Eric Bana fan, I have to say that I loved him. Perfect mix of trainer and loving father. For those of you who are this far into my little review and still have no idea what this film is about and are wondering what I mean by “trainer,” well, that is sort of purposeful. I think this film is better when you don’t quite know what you’re in for. Anyway, add the magnificent and chilling Cate Blanchett and this cast is just a recipe for success.

The editing in this film was impeccable, bouncing around the fight scenes with absolute ease, and so wonderfully paired with The Chemical Brothers’ intense electronica-rock soundtrack. This music simultaneously calms my nerves and riles me up; it is insane. Speaking of the fight scenes, my god. My knowledge on hand-to-hand combat mostly stems from a self-defense class I took at a community college, but the choreography was more realistic than I have seen in any action movie, despite it technically being super-human. The whole film was swift, exciting and waited for no one.

Hanna was the perfect mix between whimsical and haunting, charming and abrasive. It has a lot to say about humanity, the choices we make and what they can become. Whether or not this film was intended as an allegory to examine our inner-psyche, it is worth a viewing. Or two. If there weren’t so many other films out vying for my attention, I would have seen this film twice already. Let me know if you’ve seen Hanna and what your thoughts on it were and I’ll see you guys next time.

Flights taken: 10.

Films watched in April: 13, but my meeting was canceled tonight and my latest Netflix DVD just arrived. (Don't remember what it is, though.)

EDIT: Just realised that I didn't press 'post' on my blog yesterday -_- It's up now. Sorry, I'm dumb.

Focus issues

It occurred to me recently that I have some serious focus issues. I seem to be unable to focus in classes unless I am focusing on more than one thing at a time. I can participate in discussion, sure, but not unless I am simultaneously checking my tumblr or writing my to-do list for the day. Lectures are a breeze as long as I am thinking up ideas for blog posts or reading my email. But when forced to do one solo, I am just a mess. I cannot focus on my notes, half an hour goes by and I'll have completely missed the lecture, discussions will come and go. I just cannot get a grasp on why it is. I do not think I have some sort of ADD or ADHD, it's just that I cannot NOT be killing two birds with one stone.
My director in high school always used to make fun of the IB kids who would spit their lines so fast because they are essentially trained to do everything quickly. No time to slow down. While I was only in one IB class by senior year, I certainly had residual IB pace issues. Maybe this is just left over from that. Maybe the reason that I cannot do my readings without music or background noise is because I never did. Similarly, I cannot just do one thing online. If I'm in a Skype call, I'll be browsing through tumblr or planning out my schedule.
I am meticulous about multitasking and for some reason, I have this fear that it will be an issue in the future. It already holds me back in my international politics class, where the professor is not a fan of laptops. How does she expect me to focus at all at 8:15am, without a computer, no less?! How dare she. But seriously, guys, it is an issue. I only manage to catch about half of the lectures each day and my handwriting is pretty poor in the morning, so it's just a big old mess. Sigh. I seem to be feeling rather dramatic today, so you'll have to forgive me for that.
Do you guys have focus issues? What are your opinions on multitasking? I'm a big fan, obviously, but I'd like to know if anyone feels differently. Blog to you tomorrow!

Flights taken: 10.
Films seen in April: 13.

Easter times

Re-reading over last nights blog makes me laugh a bit. I wish that I could say I felt better, but I am much less exhausted and filled with antihistamines. There is just a lot of sneezing. It feels as though I am allergic to everything within a fifty foot radius of myself, at all times. Which doesn't make sense at all. It's Easter today and while I am not a religious person, I love any event that gets everyone together. My Easter basket from my mom included candy, Goldfish crackers and...wait for it...Zelda! For the 3DS! She gave my brother and I both a note saying she'd get it for us when it comes out in June, which is awesome. I hope it's as fun as we both anticipate.
I am currently baking some brownies, uploading my TARDIStacular video and watching Battlestar Galactica* while waiting for family to arrive, so I have to cut this short. However, I want to know two things from you. First, if you watch Doctor Who, did you like the new episode? I will not spoil anything on this blog since I have TT to discuss it, but if you don't want to be spoiled, ignore the comments, haha!
Also, despite being totally out of it last night, my second bullet point *was* something my brother and I had been discussing earlier in the day. To reiterate, that bullet point was: "Former President George W Bush was almost killed by joking on a pretzel two different times. Two separate occasions, two separate pretzels. My thoughts regarding this mostly stem from the idea of what would happen if, instead of minor throat laceration, he actually choked and died on these pretzels. Would that be his formal death? Or would they cover up that humiliating end? These are the things that plague me." So, what do you think? It doesn't have to be specific to this situation. If any big figure, specifically in America but I suppose it doesn't have to be limited to that, died in some pathetic way, would that be made public? I do not know of any similar stories or anything have come out in the past, it's just something we were thinking about. Let me know what you think! xD
Just had one of those terrible have-tosneeze-but-didn't moments. Worst. Hope you guys have a great Easter and/or Sunday! xx

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 13.

*Currently re-watching season 2. I forgot how angry Cain makes me. That bitch be crazy. Ugh.

Benadryl haze

I am currently lying on my couch, willing my body to not get any more ill and just hoping that when I want up in the morning, I will feel less like I've been dragged in the dirt with everything I have ever been allergic to stuck on my face. Because of that, you get a list of Benadryl-induced thoughts.

• I just watched the first episode of season 6 of Doctor Who...twice. It was brilliant, but I have my issues and everything. TARDIStacular video will come...before next weekend.
• Former President George W Bush was almost killed by joking on a pretzel two different times. Two separate occasions, two separate pretzels. My thoughts regarding this mostly stem from the idea of what would happen if, instead of minor throat laceration, he actually choked and died on these pretzels. Would that be his formal death? Or would they cover up that humiliating end? These are the things that plague me.
  
• BBC America is starting a Supernatural Saturday series, where they show sci-fi episodes every Saturday. Including new Who episodes and Battlestar Galactica re-runs. I'll probably be busy...every Saturday...until further notice.
• Easter is great, but 2011 seems to be the year that my family cannot get together ever. Only about half of my dads side will be at the lunch/dinner at my house tomorrow and this makes me endlessly sad.
• Speaking of which, I think that my aunt is making an egg hunt for us. Despite my youngest cousins not being there. Meaning it will be for me, my 17 year old cousin and my 22 year old brother. We're...so awesome. That'll be so much fun, and challenging, I'm sure.
  
• Is there a non-chocolate alternative to brownies? Other than cake or something. Like...whiteies. But less racist sounding.
• Sean Astin got a twitter account. SAMWISE TWEETGEE. Gamtweet? Wut?
• My cousin goes to school in Oregon, but he was playing a baseball game in Tacoma today and so I went to go see him play. Baseballs games bring back all sorts of emotions and memories for me and they always make me miss playing softball.
  
• I just want to sleep.
• I actually fel asleep while scrolling through tumblr a while ago. A while ago meaning right before I woke up and somehow remembered to write this.
• My brother keeps trying to have intellectual conversations with me regarding DW and it's history and everything, but I just can't think straight. Why does he have to take so much interest NOW of all times? Oh, life.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 13.

Summer 2011 films

No time or mental capability to blog this evening and none of the remaining extra posts seem appropriate. A tad ironic after my past couple posts, no? So here is just a quick list of films I am excited to see this summer:

-May 6th: Thor, directed by Kenneth Branagh, starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins and Kat Dennings.
- May 20th: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, starring...well, you know. I'm slightly ashamed to be excited.
- June 10th: Super 8, directed by JJ Abrams and starring Elle Fanning.
- June 17th: Green Lantern, with Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively and Peter Sarsgaard.
- June 17th: The Art of Getting By with Freddie Highmore and Emma Roberts. This one looks so good!
- June 24th: Cars II, because I am one of the five people who loved the original Cars.
- July 1st: Monte Carlo with Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester and Catherine Tate. Such a weird cast.
- July 1st: Larry Crowne, directed by and starring Tom Hanks, with Julia Roberts.
- July 15th: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 2. Maybe you've heard of it? No link to a trailer because I still haven't watched it.
- July 22nd: Captain America: The First Avenger, starring Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving and Stanley Tucci.
- July 22nd: Friends with Benefits, with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. This looks like the better version of the one with Natalie Portman.

Oh, and I'm sort of interested in X-Men, but I probably won't see it. I just love James McAvoy and want to see more Jennifer Lawrence in action.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 13. (Went to see Water for Elephants earlier tonight. I'd love to promise a review, but I am just so busy. I really want to write one for this and Hanna, though! Will try so hard. Overall, I think they are definitely both worth seeing.)

Follow up on BEDA/VEDA

I usually don't reference previous posts too much because I like stand-alone blogs, but so many of you had some wonderful opinions on my post yesterday, so I'm going to talk about that again.
Most of you seem to mostly agree with me that if you don't have anything to say, don't tell people you don't have anything to say. Also, a few of you added that a lot of people step up to the plate to make something creative when you don't have anything to say, which I agree with. That's what I do. I don't always have interesting things to say, but if I dig inside my brain, there's always something to share. I just think that most people are really lazy about it and just end up telling us that they walked their dog and watched television. That's great, it really is, but those are details about your life that I don't really need to read in your blog about. How about a story about a squirrel WHILE you're walking your dog? That'd be awesome.
The arguments with my blog tend to fall into two categories. One, you guys like seeing YouTubers or bloggers with their walls down, not putting out big production stuff. I have two things to say to this. I think, as a general rule, you should just assume that we are all normal people outside of the blogs or videos. You should not have to read a blog about me doing laundry to know that I do it. Does that make sense? I think a lot of you fool yourselves into thinking that our lives are just SO CRAZY that we never do normal things, haha. The reason we share the fun stuff is because the mundane is not as cool, you know? Secondly, I am not saying every single blog or video has to be a big production. I don't always spend hours and hours on my videos, but that doesn't mean that I am no proud of them or think they are interesting. There aren't only big production or boring. I get that sometimes, during things like VEDA or BEDA, people have to have an easy out for a day or two somethings. I am not saying everyone should put perfect things out into the world (which was the whole beginning of my post yesterday). But there are ways of doing an easy video or blog without saying the words "I have nothing to say" or something like that. Never apologise, vloggers/bloggers! Just work it and people will probably like it. :)
The other half of arguments seem to, reading between the lines, kind of imply that you guys would like anything I, or other people you follow who do BEDA/VEDA, put out. Which, I mean, you guys are awesome. There are certainly people who I could watch paint a wall and be happy (see: Andrew Garfield, Keira Knightley, Peter Jackson, Jo Rowling...) and I will love anything they do. But that doesn't mean I'm going to encourage any more Bend it like Beckham's or King Kong's (apologise if you're a fan of their of those...I'm just...not.) Does that make sense? Haha. xD
I would like to reiterate that I do think that all of these things have benefits that outweigh the negatives in the long run. BEDA and VEDA encourage more frequent content in the future. NaNo gets people writing. I just generally do not like most of the content put out because I feel like people are more concerned with the amount of material, rather than what is said. I want more people to *say* things. To share things. Not to tell me they have nothing to say and how they did not do anything. It's so easy to just share a random story or, you know, write a quick list (though I am ridiculous and put way too much thought and time into mine.) These are such great opportunities to get to know other people online and it is sort of wasted in the mess of empty words, you know?
Oh, and to the person who said I was whining, I think there is a huge difference between sharing an opinion and whining. I wasn't saying I don't appreciate the support I get, I just think it sucks that anything you put online in the month of April gets less attention than any other time. That goes for everyone, not just me. Which is why I try to tweet about and bring attention to awesome videos I see during times like this when people may overlook them. It is unfair to people who put a lot of time into things for them to be overlooked because there is too much being put out.

With that, I think I'll end this discussion on my blog. Thanks for sharing all of your thoughts! It was great to hear from all of my readers, as well as Hayley's! You are all really fantastic and it was fun chatting :) xx

EDIT: Here's an awesome video response to my blog from an awesome vlogger named Savannah. Check it out!

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 12.

Reasons why I dislike BEDA

I am not a perfectionist. I do not slave over things till I think they are perfect. In fact, one of my biggest academic faults is that I am really bad at re-reading and editing my own work. You can probably determine that by reading my blogs. However, I really do not like putting things out into the world that I am not proud of. In the past, I have definitely made videos that I did not work hard on or that I just threw together to put something up. A few months ago, I stopped allowing myself to do that. I make videos for myself and if I am not happy with a video, why put it out for others to see? That is one of the reasons I do not upload two videos a week like I used to.
The reason I am thinking about things like these sort of stems from the fact that the longer I do things like BEDA or watch VEDA videos, the more I dislike them. They encourage people to put things that they wouldn't necessarily put on the internet. They glorify content that is really not that, for lack of a better word, good. If you're going to do BEDA or VEDA or anything else, I think you should go into it with a plan. A theme. Something. But far too many of the people whose videos I watch did not and I have just found myself really disenchanted with the internet this month. Normally, I'd love things that encourage creativity, but I think that for the most part, they stifle it. Does anyone else feel that way? Is anyone else really tired of the "I don't really know what to blog about…" blogs? BEDA is a great idea, but if you're not actually going to *say* anything, then why bother?
I don't know. I do not mean to sound like some pretentious, high-and-mighty blogger. I certainly haven't put my all into every blog post this month, but I am really trying. I have pre-written some blogs I am proud of, spent a lot of time making some fun lists and I'm just having a good time hearing from you guys. I just think that a lot of people go about this all wrong. I think it's just a big quality versus quantity issue. It's the same way I feel about NaNoWriMo. Good in theory, but I know way too many people who just write a ton of crap and then never even go back to it. Sure, it's a lesson in discipline, pushing creativity, et cetera, but it's supposed to get you started in writing and it seems to stifle a lot of the writers I know and make them take extended breaks and often never come back to their books. Which sucks for them as writers and me as a person who would really like to see her friends published one day.
As a side note, another reason I am not a huge fan of BEDA is that it means my posts get a lot less attention than they would if they were less-frequent. I put a lot of time into some of these and, completely understandably, they get looked over due to the high-volume of posts everyone is putting out there. As you guys should know, I do everything I do on the internet first and foremost for myself, but that does not mean I don't love hearing from everyone who reads my blog and I feel like I hear a lot less in months like these.
So those are just some of my opinions. Let me know what you think about BEDA/VEDA/NaNoWriMo in the comments. Sorry if I seemed like a brat or anything in this blog. I honestly did not mean to sound like I am elevating myself or anything like that, just voicing my opinion. Hope you're having a good Wednesday! xx

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 11.

Stress, panic, repeat.

So for the past week, I have been a ball of misery over a bunch of different things that I don't really want to drone on about right now. Including this impending illness I have. However, I received some news this morning that has sort of reformed my misery into nervousness, panic and excitement. As a side note, when I say "this morning," I mean this morning. I have a tendency to wake up at weird hours in the middle of the night and impulsively check my phone for the time and then continue on to check my emails and messages that I have missed whist being asleep. I don't really know why I feel compelled to do this or why they cannot wait till morning, but I have been waiting for this particular email for weeks, so I had to look.
Drum-roll, please...I got into the school in London where I applied to study abroad. This means, essentially, that I will be moving to London for a year in September. Maybe longer if I fall in love with the program or something. But...yeah. London. I don't really want to say where I'm going, as per usual, but I should be living in the south-central London-ish area, I think. I actually haven't heard where I'll be living and the buildings are spread across the city, but that's where my first pick was, so we'll see.
Now, as someone who spends every weekend hanging out with her mother, you can imagine why I'd be a little worried. Sure, I can go off on extended trips and be totally fine without anyone there, but I am *such* a family person. I am busting with excitement that it's Easter this weekend and I get to be with all of my cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. And I get to see my brother! It's not like I don't see these people pretty often, but I just get so excited to get together. I missed a birthday party earlier this year when I was in California and it killed me, guys. KILLED ME. How am I going to handle missing, like, Thanksgiving? And Easter next year? I am hoping beyond hope that I will be able to afford going home for Christmas, because that it one holiday that I just cannot miss. I just hate that I'll miss so many get-togethers and birthdays and oh my god. My dogs. How can I survive that long without my dogs? It's hard to go a week without seeing them! See what I mean? Panic and fear and way too much emotional attachment. It is of those that I am currently comprised.
Also, did I mention that Visas are scary? Because...they are. I am slightly terrified of immigration, which is stupid, because I haven't had a problem with them since I was 16. (I didn't have a note from my parents, I had to sit in the scary little room, it was traumatic.) But just reading over all of these things that you need to do for a visa and I don't even understand half of them and ahhh. Terrifying.
I did not mean this to be a negative blog. Really, I am absolutely thrilled to have this opportunity and I can't freaking wait to meet new people, travel as much as possible, take some cool classes, et cetera. I've been looking forward to studying abroad in London since I was about ten years old and the fact that it is actually happening is incredible. But in addition to fears of missing out on family stuff and visas and money, there's always that nagging fear that things won't be as I imagined them. I really, really don't want to regret this at all in the way that I regret coming to the school I am currently at. I cannot deal with another year of this, especially when my mother isn't working 12 minutes away. Here's hoping for the best, right? I'm going to be making the most out of everything. Trying new things, opening myself up more and all of that good stuff.
So. That's where I am right now. I have a textededit to-do list open and my mom just emailed me with a to-do list and clearly I am her daughter. That was precious. I should also add that the final bullet on her list is "set up mom on skype and practice until she is proficient otherwise you can’t go."
Anyway, I have to go to class now. I hope you're all a little more emotionally stable than I am this morning and I will blog again tomorrow. Oh, also, if you missed my post yesterday, it was a pretty cool list of what I would do if I could travel with the Doctor. I hope to record a video of the list for TARDIStacular later this week, but things always seem to get in the way. Laterrr.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 11. Have any of you seen The Lincoln Lawyer? I think I'd like to see it but I cannot decide if it's worth the money. Let me know if it's any good. Also, I'm excited to hopefully see both Soul Surfer (Bethany Hamilton was my idol when I surfed, okay?) and Water for Elephants (despite my dislike for RPattz acting) over Easter weekend.

Traveling in Time and Space

Not better, stock blog for you. xx

I was asked recently 'if you became the Doctor's companion, what are the top 10 places you would most like to visit?' Now, my first impulse was to just ignore the question because, to be honest, my first pick would just be "somewhere I've never even heard of before." I'd love to go to some unknown planet in some distant time. I want to see things I don't even know exist and I want to go places that I could never imagine. So I'm going to center my choices on Earth, past and future. They are sort of in order, but mostly just sort of as they came to me from the bottom up. I didn't put as much time into this list and numbering as I have with others. Also, I have omitted some person situations that I would have like to go back and alter the slightest bit, if at all possible. I may make a video of this list for TARDIStacular, actually. Enough rambling, though...

10) 20 years from now.
I just want to see how technology will have improved by then, I suppose. This is sort of an uneventful one, but I just want to go a bit into the future and see what things will be like later down the line, just in case for some reason, I don't see them for myself. (Morbid Kayley is morbid and such).

9) 4 September 476, Western Roman Empire.
The fall of the Roman Empire, partially because it would be incredible to see the reactions of everyone and mostly because I'd love to rub it in my brothers face. Or, you know, just share the experience with him, haha.

8) 13 April 1896, New York City, Koster and Bial's Music Hall.
First film screening ever!

7) 17 November 1558 – 24 March 1603, England.
For any of you history buffs, you'll know that those dates are the beginning and end of Elizabeth I's reign. I think she is very possibly the most badass women in history and I'd love to see her or meet her or just be in the same country as her at the same time.

6) 19 July 1969, the Moon.
Just so I can be the first person on there, beating Apollo 11's lunar landing by a day. Selfish? Maybe a little bit.

5) 21 July 1954, United Kingdom. The original publication date for the very first Lord of the Rings installment by JRR Tolkien. I'd love to have a Harry Potter-like experience with these books. I know release dates were probably not a big deal at all back then, but I'd just like to see what it was like.

4) 2517.
In Firefly canon, that is when humans apparently have a new star system they call home. I want to see for myself :P

3) London, 1940 or 1941.
Call me crazy, but I would love to see the London Blitz. I find the extent to which that city was destroyed and built again just incredible. The reason London is my favourite city, among others, is the history it holds. I'd like to see a little of that history in action. Hopefully sans creepy children in gasmasks. But hey, if it gets me closer to John Barrowman, then why not?

2) 3 September 1783
The day the United States was recognised as its own, independent country. I think that'd be a pretty incredible time to party, you know what I mean?

1) The end of the Earth.
I want to know when, how and why. May be morbid, but I like to think that by the time the Earth is coming to a close or dying or however you want to put it, that we will be so spread out through the galaxy that it would not mean the end of the human race.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 11.

Willow Rosenberg

I'm having a less than ideal (see: awful) past few days. I have tried to stay away from the internet because I don't like spreading negativity and I have found it hard to keep optimistic with everything wrong going on. It happens sometimes. However, since I used one of my lists/pre-written blogs yesterday, I wanted to put something different out there, despite not having much to say. Except that a lot of you really seem to like Mulan. Who I don't dislike, but also think that outside of her family-loving nature, she doesn't have too much personality. Hence not making my list. Anyway, moving on.
Well, if you have been reading Kristina's blogs, you'll know that she is currently in production of a Buffy music video and despite the fact that I'm not a Buffy fan, I've had the awesome privilege of playing Willow in it. We filmed my bits yesterday and today and they were both really fun. The guy who plays Xander (his name is Nater), Kristina and I had a lot of fun both days telling jokes, keeping warm by jumping around and looking tough on camera.
Other than that, my weekend has been all about trying not to get sick and spending time with my parents. I love my parents more than I think you guys may realise. I spend most weekends when I'm not traveling across the country just sitting around at home watching movies or making dinner. I am a family girl, through and through. Oh, and I saw Hanna on Friday night. I want to review it, but I just have so much going on and I'm in a terrible place in school right now because of getting so far behind while away. This has definitely added to my less-than-happy demeanor as of late. Sometimes the world really gangs up against people. This week, it was me. I think I'll leave it at that because the negativity radiating from my pores is seeping out and I don't like spreading it. Hopefully I will be a tad better tomorrow. Have a lovely evening.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 11.

Top Five Disney Heroines

When reflecting upon the princesses, I realised that I don't...really...like them very much. I mean, this is not a huge surprise, I never liked any of the princess films too much. This is is the part where your little commenting fingers hit the keys and type "then why, Kayley, are you making a list of them? Can't think of anything better?" And you know what I have to say to that? Because I can and maybe not. Essentially, I feel really strongly about the first three of my choices and then sort of hit a wall. But after thorough deliberation as to whether or not Kanga could be considered a heroine, I finally managed to compile a list that I'm happy with, so here we go. (Also, if you want more interesting and articulate Disney videos, please check out my friend Sarah!)

5. Rapunzel from Tangled.
So I honestly don't love Rapunzel as much as everyone else on this freaking planet seems to. I liked Tangled, as you may remember from my review, but I did not buy into the hype as much as everyone else. However, Rapunzel is really lovely, loyal and wants to see the world. I can relate, obviously. She follows her dreams, despite fear and nerves and everything else. And she has magical hair and that's pretty damn awesome.

"I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?"

4. Jasmine from Aladdin.
Jasmine was my favourite when I was really young. She is really passionate and doesn't like to do what she is told or what is expected of her. She isn't concerned with superficial type things and is not overly judgmental about others. Also, her outfit is pretty fierce.
"We humans appreciate your creations. The beauty of a flower, the shade from a tree, the joy of planting a seed and watching it grow. We care."

3. Nala from The Lion King.
Don't be giving me trouble about this one, Nala is totally a princess and a damn good one at that. She's totally down for any sort of adventure, is really brave and doesn't need a man...or a lion...to keep her happy. If Simba hadn't come pawing back, she totally would have been the Beyonce of lions. All the single lions, all the single lions...

"It's like you're back from the dead. You don't know how much this will mean to everyone. What it means to me."

2. Tiana from Princess and the Frog.
Princess and the Frog was a film that I was not looking forward to. I thought it was silly of Disney to go back to old school style because we have all of this new, amazing technology and there is no need to try and improve on something that was always beautiful. However, when I walked out of that film, tears streaking down my face, I was fully prepared to admit I was wrong. Tiana is driven, honest, independent, passionate, loving and essentially all of the good traits of everyone else wrapped into one. She is definitely close competition to my number one favourite, who is....

"My Daddy never did get what he wanted. But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost a sight what was really important."

1. Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
I could go on and on about why Belle is my favourite, but this tumblr here recently blogged about her and she really just summed up all of my thoughts in a witty and, well, perfect way. For all of those too lazy to click a link, she says:
"She was kind of a loner, but she wasn’t sad over it or desperate to fit in. She didn’t give a shit that the hottest piece of man-ass in town wanted her, because he was a total semi-retarded douchebag and she knew she could do better. She wasn’t motivated by love or the need to have a significant other to do anything. In fact, even when she began to fall in love with the beast and she got news that her father was sick, she was like “iight I’m feelin you Beast but my dad is like dying in the woods so I should prooobbably go”. And then when Gaston was like being a complete asshole by getting everyone to raid the castle and kill the Beast, she broke the FUCK out of that cellar and rode a horse to rescue her man, after she nursed her father back to health. And we don’t even need to mention the fact that her man was an 8 foot Chewbacca/buffalo hybrid, she saw that he was a kind person who loved her and she fell in love with him. Like, seriously, Belle is basically the coolest woman ever."

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell / And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand / I want so much more than they've got planned."

Let me know who your favourite Disney heroines are in the comments and I will talk to you guys tomorrow!

Flights Taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 9, saw Hanna last night. So, so good. Hoping to review it soon.

Instannoyances

I'm annoyed and frustrated and do not feel like blogging. Therefore, today I will present you with ten easy ways to annoy me. Here goes...

1. Using the word "dog" or"dawg" seriously outside of the context of the animal or the University of Washington, where their mascot is the husky and they are the "dawgs." (My parents are both proud UW alumni.)
   
2. Complain about wanting the internet, finally get online and check your facebook. I will never understand how people spend so much time on that website.
   
3. When people get annoyed over split infinitives. I love grammar just as much as the next person, though I generally blog like I speak so this may not be entirely evident in this medium, but "to go boldly" pales in comparison to "to boldly go," okay?
4. "How are you?" about 95% of the time.
   
5. Being asked about money. Ever. By pretty much anyone.
6. River Song in Doctor Who.
   
7. Spending time on a video and having most of the comments revolve around something in frame or something I am wearing.
   
8. The Phineas and Ferb theme song. It's one of the main reasons I stopped watching Disney channel a few years ago.
9. Double standards.
10. Extremes. How people seem to either HATE SOMETHING SO MUCH or have NEVER LOVED ANYTHING MORE. Both "love" and "hate" are terribly overused words, in my opinion.
    

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 8.

My Hobbit Heart

Alright, guys. Let's talk The Lord of the Rings. The Lord of the Rings is something that I haven't ever directly talked about before, as far as I can recall. The reason being that there was nothing new to talk about and it'd just be me geeking out over things I've been geeking out over for about 8 years. However, The Hobbit released a video today about beginning stages of production and although I've been excited since they announced this film, it's just now sinking in.
The Lord of the Rings films are my favourite films of all time, hands down. From the second I stepped into Middle Earth through the worlds of JRR Tolkien, I was in love. Peter Jackson took that world and made it into something better than I could have ever imagined. Never before had I felt so strongly about a film and that is actually where my love for film sprung from when I was about eleven years old. I cannot tell you how much of my life I have given to New Line Cinema and how much of my heart I have given to this world. I saw Return of the King in cinemas fourteen times. Admittedly, this was when a ticket cost $5-6 and not the $10-15 it costs now, but that is a lot of times to see a film that is four hours long. I know every word to every scene in the extended editions, know the cast commentaries by heart, have seen every production image and cast interview. Their inside jokes are my inside jokes (with myself and my best friends). Peter Jackson has been one of my number one heroes, alongside Jo Rowling, for many years. I feel as though I've know the cast for years and that we're great friends, as creepy as that same. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a massive nerd. Very little can cheer me up in the was these films do.
Due to my passion for this franchise, I'm just having a really hard time conceptualizing the fact that right now, probably this very minute, they are currently working on new film canon and are knee deep in Middle Earth. It would be lying to say that does not make me more than a little emotional. I have abandoned any pretense that I was going to get work done and have spent my entire morning going through tumblr, rewatching the video above, sharing it with my friends and family and twitter followers and just being a total freak. I could really go on for days, but as I said, I'm feeling stupidly over-emotional and just want to go get a latte and listen to Howard Shore. However, I actually have to go to class in a couple hours, so I guess I'll do that. But my head will be in New Zealand, right along with my heart.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 8, but I hope to watch a couple tonight.

"One more time, for the racism!"

I think it is a fairly safe assumption to if you read my blog, you probably read Kristina's. If not, however, go over to her latest post to read more about the event I'm going to write about. Basically, earlier tonight, we were at a meet-up for our friend Jimmy Wong who is in Seattle for a few days. It was rather strange assortment of people who seem to have all found him via his Ching Chong video. The title of this post is something he said while playing the chorus of said song.
At any rate, the story I have to share is about a guy who happened to attend this event. First of all, this guy was Jimmy's number one fan. He made a point of coming over as soon as he got there, shaking his hand, taking a picture with him, basically fangirling him. Did I mention this man was probably in his 40s? After getting his picture, he proceeded to join our table, interrupting the conversation we were having with our new friend Caity, to ask for the seat between us. There were about a hundred tables in the room, but he HAD to sit at the table with Jimmy and if that meant sitting in the seat between two people who were clearly having a conversation, then so be it.
After a few awkward moments in which he was totally reading what Caity was writing on a peice of paper for the two of us (her name and contact information so we could hang out again), Kristina and I told Caity to come sit next to us and we pulled up a new chair. The second she moved, basically, he took her water glass, re-filled it with the water jugs on the table and drank from it. The table was FILLED with cups that were upside-down, clearly unused. But nope, this guy went for the closest empty cup that was already used. He proceeded to take creepy phone picture of Jimmy from his *prime* location across the table and got thoroughly excited when Jimmy went to play music.
It was just so strange. He seemed to pick up no social signals and just made for such a unique table situation. Needless to say, the three of us were holding back laughter quite a lot and couldn't stop talking about him the moment he left. The moment he left also being the moment he asked Kristina to save him a table at the front for Jimmy's 21+ show that I will not be attending. (Oh, to be the youngest...) Sorry, sir, I think their table is full. xD
Let me know if you've ever had slightly creepy people make situations awkward for you in the comments, haha! I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

EDIT: A lot of you are suggesting that he had Aspergers. I assure you, that was not the case. I have a family member with it, so I know how it affects people. This guy was just socially awkward.

Flights taken: 10.
Films watched in April: 8.

Farewell Miami

I'm having one of those mornings where all I can think about it how hungry I am and how much I really do not want to write a blog post. I say that like the latter is a feeling I experience frequently, which it is not. Mainly because there is normally no obligation or anything like that, so I never have to conscientiously think such negative thoughts. However, today I am just starving and tired and slightly annoyed and frustrated with myself and I just HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OKAY? So I'm just going to leave you with two of my favourite videos from Miami that my friends have put up so far. This one represents the fun and friendships of this trip. And this one represents how freaking weird and ridiculous we all are. Also, as a side note, I am not drunk in this video. Everyone seems to have their judgmental fingers out in the comments, but that's just how I am. People learn to love it. Or tolerate it. Whatever. Have a great day! I'm going to go soak up as much vitamin D as possibly before we fly out this afternoon back to Seattle, where I am told by weather.com that it is 40 degrees. Swell.

Pointless photos

my desk at school, drama chocolates from valentine's day, a sunset, "supermoon."

I don't have anything to say today because it's girl shopping day in Miami now that the boys have departed. I could share photos from Miami, but I don't have any...My mother will now be pleased. Hope you're all well! It is finally starting to hit me how behind in classes I'm going to be come Wednesday, which is freaking me out. And it's just a few days now that I find out big, big things and it's scaring me. So that is that. Farewell.

Flights Taken: 8.
Films watched in April: 8.

Miami is sticky

So I'm still in Miami and haven't had any time to blog today. None of my pre-written posts really seems fitting for today so I'll just give you a little play by play of my day like normal bloggers do, how's that sound? Boring? Well, then, away with you. :P
I woke up earlier than everyone else, because I'm always that person and I just sat around in my bed debating walking to Subway for nearly two hours before deciding to get up and do so. By the point, Sammy and Elizabeth in the other room were up and so we decided to go eat and eventually Kristina, Ariana, Eia and Alex had decided to join. I had an amazing meal of a TRIPLE DECKER grilled cheese, guys. Three layers. So good. And I drank so much water. Which was also so good. We then spent the rest of the day partying it up on the beach and being pushed into the water by Luke. He's such a bully, guys.
I'm really not used to humidity. Miami is so fun and I'm having a great time but every time I go anywhere with humidity, I remember that I should never, ever live somewhere where this is the norm. As much as I love sun, I can't deal with the ice in my drinks melting before I finish drinking them and that nasty sticky feeling my face has not abandoned since arrival. I applaud all of you who manage to wake up day after day and live in this moist they call air, but it definitely gives me a sense of appreciation for the lovely, clean and occasionally rainy air in Washington.
Alright, sorry this was less than ideal, but I have just been informed that we're going back to the same place we ate earlier today for dinner. I'm not even upset. They have SO MANY OPTIONS AND IT ALL LOOKS SO GOOD. And that's all for this episode of "why the hell does Kayley eat so much?" I have a bucket of fries and probably plates of pasta to attend to. Until tomorrow, my friends!

Flights taken: 8.
Films watched in April: 8.

Favourite Television Episodes

I wrote this last week but now I'm in Miami and having a great time. To make up for the shitty post yesterday, I'm giving you guys this earlier than I expected. Let me know what your favourite episodes of television are in the comments!

I'm not going to mention how long it took me to compile this list, but it was oddly therapeutic. I love a good list about things I love. I wish I had drawn from more shows that I care about, but these are just the ones that matter the most and so they deserve to be here. Sorry for the lack of variation. Enjoy!

15. Castle. 3x16, Setup.
Castle is one of my favourite shows, it is. Although, I cannot really say that it is one of those shows where I go back and watch certain episodes. But I wanted to include one, so I spent a lot of time thinking about why I love this show and what episode best encompasses that love. I ended up with a fairly recent episode. The reason being that while it has an intense plot going on, you see all of the characters at their bests, I think. Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic are such a wonderful duo; hilarious, adorable, and, well, pretty hot. In this episode, you see them do what they do best together: break the rules. Go out when they are told not to and they end up in a less than ideal situation, but what Castle/Beckett fan was not thrilled at the prospect of the two of them locked in a cold area together, forced to cuddle? In addition to all of that, we see Castle being the amazing father/son he is and telling his mom and daughter to get out. Molly Quinn, aka my twin, and Nathan Fillion work so well together. Castle loves Alexis more than anything and you can really see it in this episode.

"I wish that I had someone who could be there for me and I could be there for him and we could do it together."

14. Doctor Who. 5x10, Vincent and the Doctor.
It is quite strange to me that I have changed the order of favourite Doctor Who episodes in this list versus the one I did a year or so ago. I think, for the most part, the choices I made in that list are still valid, but with a few additions from season 5. However, while I love some episodes more than others within the parameters of the show, when it comes to all of television, I have a different order for certain ones. Maybe because they are ranked differently in my mind as stand-alone episodes than as a piece of a puzzle, but anyway. Raw emotion. The man who played Vincent, Tony Curran, could not have been more perfect. Van Gogh is my favourite painter and his pain and suffering was portrayed so well. The writing was so very brilliant, as well. Amy's confusion and broken...ness at the loss of the man she loves and doesn't remember, the Doctor trying to pretend that isn't happening, Nill Nighy being freaking amazing, this episode was just beautiful and definitely my favourite of the fifth season.

"It seems to me there's so much more to the world then the average eye is allowed to see. I believe, if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe then you could ever have dreamt of." "The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

13. Dollhouse. 2x06, The Left Hand.
Oh, Dollhouse. How I miss you so. Very few times has television made me laugh as hard as Victopher did. Enver Gjokaj is just a GENIUS. He is honestly one of the greatest actors I have ever seen and I really, really wish he had a more active career; that man can do anything. I will just never forget this episode. Also, Summer Glau as Bennet, what's not to love?

"This is one of my memories of you. This is the last time I saw you. This is what you did to me. Not just to my arm. To me. I want you to feel this. There is something worse than pain."

12. Fringe. 2x23, Over There (Part 2).
This was the episode that really set Fringe in action, I think. Obviously the whole second half of season 2 was building and building like the show had never seen before, but this episode made me care about these characters more than I thought I would. Olivia Dunham is not a vulnerable character, but she lets all of her walls come down and is one hundred percent honest. This is an episode about belonging and you don't need to be from a parallel universe to relate. This was just good, honest television.

"Yes, you do. I have thought of one hundred reasons why you should come back. To--to fight the shape-shifters, to take care of Walter, to...to save the world. But in the end...you have to come back. Because you belong with me."

11. Bones. 6x16, The Blackout in the Blizzard.
I don't really like choosing recent episodes for things like this, however this episode had me feeling so many emotions that I could barely speak for nearby an hour afterwards. I spent the first twenty minutes or so laughing my ass off at every brilliant sarcastic comment from Booth, comical face that Sweets made, Hodgins swinging around and spilling blue dye all over Wendell. And then the doctor called and Hodgins was a LCA carrier too and the world would never be okay. TJ Thyne gave the most beautiful, heart-breakingly beautiful performance and just thinking about it has me welling up. Angela and Hodgins are one of my top favourite television couples (do I smell another list?). Their chemistry is so incredible, they've had to fight through so much come so far to get where they are. Meanwhile, Booth and Brennan are FINALLY going on a date sometime in the future. I cannot believe it has taken nearly six full seasons to get where they are now...Crazy. Also, going back a bit, Wendell is the best intern and he made this episode all the better. The scene when he is looking through the window...so much emoootion! He wants them happy and he is scared for them but some part of him, deep down, still loves Angela, I think. I want to be his girlfriend. That would be nice. Oh, and the potatoes. Spudtacular.

"Well, a substance that is impervious to damage doesn't need to be strong...When you and I met. I was an impervious substance. Now I'm a strong substance. A time could come when you aren't angry any more and I'm strong enough to risk losing the last of my imperviosness. Maybe then we could try to be together."

10. Firefly. 1x10, War Stories.
Wash. My dear, precious Wash. You may remember my favourite fictional characters blog where I discussed this episode in minimal detail, but essentially I just adore Wash's character, seeing the Serenity crew stand together to get Mal back, Zoe's love for Wash, River's badassery...I miss this show.

"The sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I hate the bits, the bits that stay down and I work, I f-function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away! The sun grows dark and chaos has come again. It's... fluids. What am I?"

"One of you is gonna fall and die and I'm not cleaning it up!"

9. Doctor Who. 4x11, Turn Left.
As I mentioned before, this was number two on my favourite Who episodes, however it is under another episode in this list. I don't know why, it just felt right. This episode surprised me and is probably one of the most re-watchable Doctor Who episodes, in my opinion. I've seen it more times than I care to admit (and I have never counted). It's just everything I did not think it would be. Tate's acting was touching, I love alternate universes and if it weren't for that stupid beetle thing, it'd be pretty damn perfect. Funny how I'm finding myself being much more sentimental on some of these explanations than others, huh. Anyway, moving on.

"Sometimes I think there's way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once, then I met your grandfather, then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time. Like something's binding us together."

8. Battlestar Galactica, 4x20, Daybreak.
There are two parts to this episode, and the second part is my favourite, but I don't think they were meant to be watched alone, so I'm just counting them as one. Battlestar Galactica is my favourite show. I have so much love the characters and the stories and the music and the writing and just everything. Thinking about this episode has me wanting to go either re-watch the whole show or cry because I never got to watch it while it was actually on television--I started watching it as the final season was finishing up, I think. This is the finale and it was beautiful. I cannot say I'm entirely happy with out it ended; I would have liked to know what happened to Starbuck, Gaeda was all alone and that makes me so very sad (I like to think he came back), et cetera. But seeing Helo, Athena and Hera together and happy makes everything perfect. Also, although I would like to know if the Adama's ever saw one another again, the end of this show is so perfect.
"I laid out the cabin today. It's gonna have an easterly view. You should see the light that we get here, when the sun comes from behind those mountains. It's almost heavenly. It reminds me of you."

7. Dollhouse. 2x04, Belonging.
The most compelling thing about Dollhouse to me, for once, was not simply whothe characters were, like it is for most shows. The reason being, mostly, because hardly any of the characters were consistent. The nature of the show is it's ever changing personalities. It was the way the characters were, inherently, the characters. No matter what they were imprinted with, there were always certain things that never changed. The most beautiful example of this was shown in Belonging. Sierra's inability to hide from her past, despite changing her whole self. How knowing that leaks into every aspect of her life, even the seemingly meaningless paintings she did at the little table. Victor's protectiveness is another example. He loves Sierra, no matter who or what he is. Echo is worried, worried for all of those she loves, despite not really understanding in her state what it means to love. The confusion and loneliness in this show consistently blows my mind and hurts my soul. But this episode...just so lovely. Also, Topher Brink is just incredible and his struggle for morality is so hard to watch.

"People kill for that, to be unaffected."

6. Torchwood: Children of Earth. Season 3.
Now, I know this sort of season like cheating. Because, well, it sort of is. But this "season" would not make sense by only watching a single episode. It is, to me, a five hour episode. And oh my god, what an epic five hours. Torchwood certainly has it's ups and downs. I don't really know what to say about CoE other than a big, giant "OMGWTF," because, seriously, that shit was messed up. And incredible. But mostly messed up. Gareth David-Lloyd is just incredible and the moment Ianto fell is one of the most haunting pieces of television, in my opinion. As well as when Jack sacrificed his own grandchild. I. Just. It was so good it still hurts. I cannot wait for more Torchwood in July.

"There's one thing I always meant to ask Jack. Back in the old days. I wanted to know about that Doctor of his. The man who appears out of nowhere and saves the world. Except sometimes he doesn't. All those times in history when there was no sign of him, I wanted to know why not. But I don't need to ask any more. I know the answer now. Sometimes the Doctor must look at this planet and turn away in shame. I'm recording this in case anyone ever finds it, so you can see... you can see how the world ended."

5. Fringe. 3x09, Marionette.
Anna freaking Torv, where is your Emmy? The intensity and the sadness poured from the screen in this episode. The similarities between the lifeless ballerina and Olivia, the haunting images, the mental breakdowns. My heart breaks just thinking about it. The final monolog of the episode, the final one before the Christmas break, comes flooding back into my memory the second I think of Fringe. Joshua Jackson gave a brilliant performance, as well, with his endless apologies. Knowing there is nothing he can do to make it okay again. Walter standing by not knowing, Astrid being the heart, as ever. I genuinely love these characters. But, seriously, Anna Torv needs a damn Emmy.

“I understand the facts. I know that she had reams of information about me and about my life and about the people that were close to me. And I understand that if she slipped up that she would have a completely reasonable explanation for it. And I guess to expect you to have seen past that is perhaps asking a bit too much. But when I was Over There, I thought about you. And you were just a figment of my imagination. But I held onto you. And it wasn’t reasonable, and it wasn’t logical, but I did it, so… why didn’t you? She wasn’t me. How could you not see that? Now she’s everywhere. She’s in my house, my job, my bed, and I don’t want to wear my clothes anymore, and I don’t want to live in my apartment, and I don’t want to be with you. She’s taken everything.”

4. Doctor Who. 3x10, Blink.
By far the most frightening episode of Doctor Who (alongside all of Moffat's season 1-3 episodes), Blink is the first episode I show people why getting them into Doctor Who. And guess what? It always gets them hooked. Carey Mulligan, how I love her, is just perfect as Sally Sparrow. I'm always worried about Doctor/companion-light episodes because you need really strong characters to make up for the loss. Sure, I missed Ten and Martha, but only for about thirty seconds before getting absolutely sucked into this episode. It's such a good villain with such a haunting method of killing. Living to death, that's everyone's worst fear, right? This episode had such a wonderful story arch and once upon a time, I wished that we'd see Sally again, but I don't think Carey has time for such things anymore.

"That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. Loneliest creatures in the Universe. And I'm sorry. I am very, very sorry. It's up to you now."

3. Firefly. 1x08, Out of Gas.
I love backstory. I especially love backstory when it's interlaced with present time and the future. Or something. Firefly is so unique in its ability to make you care from the very first episode. These characters, who we have such limited time with, give us so much and make us feel so strongly. In this episode, we get the blessing of learning how they came to be who and where they are. We get Wash with a mustache, Kaylee having sex in the engine room and Jayne sharing a bunk with an ugly guy. The lighting is so wonderfully maneuvered, as is the music, so that you always know exactly where you are in time. There is definitely a wrong way to go about flashbacks, but "Out of Gas" is an example that it can be done and done well. I love Malcolm Reynolds.

"Sometimes a thing gets broke can't be fixed." "You buy this ship, treat her proper, she'll be with you for the rest of your life."

2. Bones. 2x09, Aliens in a Spaceship.
I feel sorry for any of my friends reading this blog post because they have had to hear me gush about the episode since I watched it nearly five months ago. Once again, I cannot say enough about TJ Thyne. I know that I have a massive crush on him, but I swear that does not influence my judgement on this episode. The genuine fear and sadness and pain that all of the characters in this episode are emanating is outstanding. Can you imagine being buried alive? All I can really relate it to is that moment when you're being put to sleep, for me it was before I had surgery, and you have no control over your mind. It's slipping and you are stuck and you cannot even fight it. It's the mental equivalent of being buried alive, maybe, but I'm not a claustrophobic person and it scares the shit out of me. Booth's anger and pain that he cannot do anything, the way Angela visibly hates herself for not being with Hodgins, Zach's inability to help without facts and numbers. That look in Hodgins eyes when he tells Brennan he loves Angela and the way he leans his cheek into Angela's hand when she invites him to hide from the nightmares with her. There are so many little nuances, so many ways that these characters come alive. The thing about this episode was that it was not only amazing alone, but it also set in motion so much. The impending Angela/Hodgins relationship, the fear and anxiety that haunts Hodgins, the strength of the bond between B/B ("I knew you wouldn't give up."), the future gravedigger episodes...everything is just so RIGHT.
"Great. You wanna give up, huh? This Bones we're talking about. And Hodgins. You really think they didn't find a way to extend their air supply? Hell found a way to send us a message, asked us for help! And you wanna give up because of MATH?"

1. Battlestar Galactica, 3x03/04, Exodus.
My favourite show and favourite episode. This episode is everything. It is triumph, it is fear, it is misunderstanding. It's love, power, loss. It is just so powerful to me. I really don't have much else to say about it.
Admiral Adama: I guess you didn't understand my orders, huh? Lee Adama: Never could read your handwriting.


Runner-Ups (because I'm always a cheater):

Bones. 6x09 The Doctor in the Photo.
Because Brennan is more real and broken than ever and it hurts and it's magical.
"...I understand. I missed my chance. My whole world turned upside down. I can adjust."
Dollhouse. 1x13, Epitaph One.
Because Topher knows what he knows, Adelle is like his mother and just this.
"I hope we find me alive."
Torchwood. 2x13, Exit Wounds.
Because Tosh and Owen did good.
"Okay. So if you're seeing this I guess it means I'm well, dead. I hope it was impressive, not crossing the road or an incident with a toaster. I just wanted to say, it's okay. It really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and all those possibilities and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen, you never knew, I love you, all of you. And I hope I did good."

Flights Taken: 8.
Films watched in April: 8.

Bienvenidos a Miami

The Internet is not working at my hostel in Miami, so I cannot even post one of the pre-written blogs I wrote, unfortunately. I'm so sorry, guys. But I will post one of my awesome, epic ones tomorrow. Promise. I hope. The NextUp contest is done and I am so thankful for all of your votes. Thank you so much! You're all wonderful people. xxx

Flights taken: 8.

Films watched in April: 8, The Tourist was on my flight from Seattle to Dallas and it was not quite as bad as I thought it would be. But yeah, not too brilliant.

Weird photos

If you were ever wondering what one of my weirdest experiences has been, going to a professional photography studio with two of my best friends in footie pajamas is pretty high on the list. This blog post is a bit belated because this happened a couple weeks ago and there's already a video about it, but whatever. I wanted to put it on this blog. And while I'm at it, here's an older one from the Night Zero booth at Emerald City Comicon. These are things I do with my time. It's awesome.

Speaking of things I do with my time, this is a short post because I need to finish packing for MIAMIIII. I'm so excited, guys. It was snowing here yesterday. I am pumped for some sunshine and seeing some of you guys! Let me know if you'll be at the Miami Yule Ball and don't forget to get your Thursday vote in! The contest ends tomorrow and it would mean the world to me if I, at the very least, got through to the next round. Because then it's up to YouTube to judge. Talk to you guys tomorrow!

Flights taken: 6.
Films watched in April: 7.

Superiority Complex

Firstly, two more days until I get to stop bugging you! (Intentionally, that is, of course.) Please vote here and you can even press this to tweet about it :D See, I just make it so easy for you all to be lazy. That's probably why you love me. (You love me, right? ...Right?) Okay, onto the post that I wrote last week.

Anyone involved in any fandom has had that moment. That moment where they hear the name of a character mentioned and their ears perk up like a dog's to a whistle. When they hear facts and moments being thrown around and it takes every ounce of will power not to chip in. Outsiders tend not to realise how important fandoms can be to a person. No one simply looking at me would know that I'm basing my whole summer around a Harry Potter conference, but it's true. They also would not know that Harry Potter and been the center of my life for as long as I can remember. Maybe it's not the only thing I think about all of the time, but it is the reason that I am here, writing this blog and the reason that I do most of the things I am doing with my life. No one would know.
It is this sensation that has given me a definite superiority complex. No, I'm not that obnoxious person who butts into every conversation or is always correcting someones canon, but I am the person who is doing that internally. I just assume that unless I am at some sort of Harry Potter event, then I am the Harry Potter master. It didn't help that this was basically my reputation throughout school. My seventh grade English teacher had to pull me aside and tell me that I couldn't do anymore papers, projects or assignments on Harry Potter. In high school, whenever someone had a question regarding the books, films, actors in the films or anything else, I was the go-to. I was a Harry Potter CHAMPION. It's when I am taken out of my comfort zone and put in a situation where people just ~don't know me~ and ~don't understand me~, I mean those in the least melodramatic way possible, that this becomes even more evident. And, you know, makes me feel like a bit of a jerk.
I was walking down the hall on my way to the bathroom earlier this evening and I over heard a discussion about Emma Watson. I may or may not have paused, creepily, outside of the lounge to hear what exactly it was they were discussing. Turns out, they were arguing about the university she is going to in the States. Now, I don't know any of the people on my floor, or really anywhere on this campus, but I still don't think it would have been rude to pretend I was walking past and simply told them. Make the arguing cease. But I just didn't want to be that girl. The know-it-all jerk who only adds to conversation when it is relevent to her life. Yeah, I could have informed them of the fact that Emma Watson goes to Brown, not NYU, but that she was going to take some time off next year to pursue her exciting life of acting, modeling, designing, et cetera. But I didn't. For reasons unknown. I mean, it was partially because I don't know these people or care about their conversation (not in a rude way, just in a way that you don't care about any conversation you're not a part of). But I think it's also because once I start, I cannot stop. If I had told them of that knowledge, I would have felt the need to inform them that HARRY POTTER IS MY LIFE AND IT HAS BEEN FOREVER AND I DON'T KNOW A WORLD WITHOUT IT OMG. And that's just a little to much for some people, you know?
Later, guys.

Flights Taken: 6.
Films watched in April: 7.