Note: This is a blog I wrote for BEDApril this year, but never finished in time or never needed it or for some reason, just never posted it. Decided to use it as my last post of this month of BEDA. Now you know and may proceed.
In order to compile a list of favourite videos on YouTube, it required me to go back through my Favourites. This mean crawling through TJ Thyne interviews, covers of Selena Gomez songs and Free People fashion videos to find some unique, wonderful content. While this was fun for me, it took ages. So long, in fact, that these will not be put in order because it would take too long and I don't want to offend any of the video makers. Oh, these are also videos by YouTubers, rather than bands, companies or things like that. So here are my favourite videos on YouTube.
marionhoney - The Condition.
This video is just beautiful. Marion has always been one of my favorite YouTubers. This video really sums up what I love about her and her videos. She is creative, thoughtful and beautiful. Not just in looks, which she totally is, but just in personality. More recently, she posted this amazing video, which I find really inspiring.
ElectricFaerieDust - High School.
Hannah is FANTASTIC. I had the hardest time trying to pick one of her videos for this list because I just think she is so great. All of her videos are hilarious, relatable and so clever. She is very communitychannel-esque but with a twist of her own and is a nerd. Which is a +10 awesome in my book.
xOphoeniXfeath3r - Confessions of a Hipster.
This. Video. I had been a fan of Lauren's for awhile, but the day she put this video up, I fell in love. I love over-the-top stereotypes for some reason. I mean, let's face it, they're almost always true to a certain extent. I'm a full believer that stereotypes do not come from nowhere. This video actually went viral on tumblr and you know that it's all true because people LOST IT and were freaking out about how no one acts like this. They are all just ashamed. xD Anyway, this video is well-done, hilarious and I wish she posted more videos for me to lol at.
tyleroakley - Fannypack of Pain.
Tyler is a good friend of mine and the first time I met him, I told him "did you know Fannypack of Pain is one of my favorite videos on the internet?" He insists that it is not that great, but oh my god. There is just something about it that leaves me with tears in my eyes from crying every single time. This used to be the video I would show people when I told them about YouTube and what people do on it and such. It's a classic in my book.
mememolly - are you anybody's favourite person?
Another classic. Molly was one of the original video bloggers and I find that so amazing. I love this generation of YouTube more than any other, I think. The days when you could turn on a camera and vlog about something you just saw that meant a lot to you and people who watch it and love it. Just harking back to the good old days, if you will.
missxrojas - Perfection.
Rosianna would hate me putting this here, mainly because she pronounces "Camus" wrong, but also just because she thinks it is not that good. I, however, will never forget this video. It is gorgeous, was so unique and just reminds me of the early days of our friendship. Rosianna was actually the video blogger that I first saw and got me into making videos, so she had to be on this list. But this video is definitely my favorite.
vlogbrothers - How Nerdfighters Drop Insults.
Picking one vlogbrothers video was an absolute tragedy, There are just so many brilliant ones that it took hours of rematches to narrow it down and, ultimately, chose this one. This represents all of what Nerdfightaria was created about and for. This is John Green, before all of the fancy editing techniques were learned, talking about how cool it is to be a nerd. Who doesn't love that? Brotherhood 2.0 is still the best project on YouTube, in my opinion, and so I had to choose a classic 2007 video.
ifancythetrio - What impact has Harry Potter made on YOUR life?
Bre Bishop. The girl who made video blogging about Harry Potter cool. If not for this girl, I would not have seen Rosianna's videos (because Rosi was inspired by her), would not have met HP friends, would not have made my own videos and, essentially, you would not know who the hell I am. Bre is the reason so many of your favorite people on YouTube do what they do (for instance, the other fiveawesomegirls). She really opened a new door for the fandom and created the path for all of us to follow and eventually arrive at where we are today. I do miss Bre making videos, but this is a good representation of what she did for the internet and I know we'll see great things from her in the future.
littleradge - Easter Egg.
This video is so clever and funny and involves one of my favourite episodes of Doctor Who. Also, it was posted on my 16th birthday, so way to go, Liam! Two points.
communitychannel - random hello/harry potter/outtakes.
"I'm wearing a jumper and look it has a lamb." Guys. It's Natalie. She is basically the funniest person on the internet. She has this totally original style (when she started, that is), has been around forever and has never failed to make me laugh. Every video she has a near scenario for you to relate to. I have no idea how she thinks of all of the things that she does, but she is just brilliant. She's one of the few YouTubers who has been around since the beginning and it's so much fun to watch over time how much things have changed in her videos, yet also stayed the same. I chose this video because I'm sure a lot of you missed such an old video of Nat's and I think it is hysterical. A couple other videos of hers that I love are this one and this one. JUST SO FUNNY.
jennamarbles - How To Avoid Talking To People You Don't Want To Talk To.
It's Jenna Marbles, guys. Therefore, it is hilarious and earns a spot on my list.
kickthepj - Adventures with PJ - Ep 1.
PJ's work is just beautiful. Every video he puts up makes me feel inferior and incompetent in the best way possible. This video in particular is just so great because it's just an afternoon turned into a work of art. Anyone else could have taken this footage and made it into a normal sort of 'follow me around' video, but he made it beautiful and it is so impressive.
corporalcadet - VCR - Levi Beamish - 고장.
Levi is in the same category as PJ, where I just find everything he does absolutely breathtaking. This video is a sort of self-portrait and I find it really compelling. I really adore this video of this, as well. He makes such beautiful videos.
livelavalive - Everything Out Of Context.
Mitchell is not only hilarious, but he has never strayed from himself in videos. He has a really unique, crazy, I'll-do-whatever-I-want style and it's fantastic. In addition, he is just a really great guy who is fun to hang out with. This video is a more recent one that I just love because it's such a good example of that style and I just love out-of-context jokes. And apparently hyphens.
losergoescrazy - the travelers.
Another huge inspiration for me, nessa k doesn't post too frequently, but always posts beautiful videos. This one is particularly perfect because it combines two things I love, traveling and photography. Besides, I may not be too much of a romantic, but how adorable is that video? So precious.
So yes. Watch, enjoy, check out their channels and let me know what some of your favourite videos are in the comments! Thanks for joining me this month on BEDA and I'm sure I'll blog again soon. Happy September!
Days til London: 11.
31 August 2011
30 August 2011
Injuries & Potential Kingship
I know. That is twice in one week that I had guest bloggers. However, I'm pretty certain Liam stressed the importance of my absence: eggrolls needed to be procured. Even though I walked all the way up there and the Chinese restaurant was *closed*…I'm still bitter. But not bitter enough that I'm writing off going to get some today.
By the way, someone commented yesterday who did not know what an eggroll was. Once I got past the disappointment that you have never experienced such bliss as an eggroll, I was baffled by it all. Essentially, it's this. Inside of that delicious fried roll of generally cabbage, carrots, sometimes noodles and other deliciousness. They are beautiful. Unless you order them and find out they have meat, which is just the worst thing in the world. So deceiving.
Did I mention that I am currently suffering through my latest battle wound? Also, let it be noted that "battle wound" is code for "what the hell happened to me?" So I woke up the other morning in a rather severe amount of pain and after talking to my aunt, who is more or less a doctor, we determined that I either bruised or slightly cracked one of my ribs, completely inexplicably. I swear I have absolutely no idea how this happened. I just went to sleep and woke up with an injured rib. So. That's just a day in the life of Kayley Hyde, guys. Waking up with injured bones. The usual. Luckily the pain is now mostly restricted to when I cough/sneeze/burst out laughing and no longer limits my breathing, so that's good. It should be healed up in a week or so. Nor real harm done, I suppose.
If you follow me on Twitter, you'll have seen a week or two ago that I mentioned wanting to run for King of the Web in September. This has sort of been a source of stress and anxiety for the past few days because I just don't know if I can do another contest. Running for NextUp was probably my least favourite thing I have ever done on the internet because I cannot and do not enjoy selling myself in any way. I didn't like reminding people to vote, didn't like being open about the fact that I needed money and didn't like feeling that I could not win if I didn't keep badgering people about it. It just sort of sickened me and, at the time, I told myself I'd never do another contest again. However, King of the Web spans over a month, so it's not has high-tension and stressful. In addition, it is sort of a cool idea for a contest and the people who work for KotW seem really awesome. I'm going to a gathering tomorrow in Seattle hosted by them and I'm thinking that I will decide there if I am or am not running. However, I wanted you guys to weigh in. Would you hate me if I ran for another contest? I promise, I wouldn't be annoying about it. If anything, it means more uploads from me so that in the annotations, I can remind people to vote or something. I just wanted to know what you guys thought. As you know, I'm moving to another country and I could really use the money because England is a freaking expensive place to live. So just let me know what you think in the comments and that would be great!
Thanks again to that Dryden kid for his post yesterday and I don't know if you read the comments, Liam, but the people want you back in their lives. Go make a video or something, yeah? It'd be much appreciated by us all. As for everyone else, I'll see you tomorrow for my LAST BEDA POST of August 2011. No idea what to post and I have a really busy day planned, so we shall see. Until then! x
Days til London: 12.
By the way, someone commented yesterday who did not know what an eggroll was. Once I got past the disappointment that you have never experienced such bliss as an eggroll, I was baffled by it all. Essentially, it's this. Inside of that delicious fried roll of generally cabbage, carrots, sometimes noodles and other deliciousness. They are beautiful. Unless you order them and find out they have meat, which is just the worst thing in the world. So deceiving.
Did I mention that I am currently suffering through my latest battle wound? Also, let it be noted that "battle wound" is code for "what the hell happened to me?" So I woke up the other morning in a rather severe amount of pain and after talking to my aunt, who is more or less a doctor, we determined that I either bruised or slightly cracked one of my ribs, completely inexplicably. I swear I have absolutely no idea how this happened. I just went to sleep and woke up with an injured rib. So. That's just a day in the life of Kayley Hyde, guys. Waking up with injured bones. The usual. Luckily the pain is now mostly restricted to when I cough/sneeze/burst out laughing and no longer limits my breathing, so that's good. It should be healed up in a week or so. Nor real harm done, I suppose.
If you follow me on Twitter, you'll have seen a week or two ago that I mentioned wanting to run for King of the Web in September. This has sort of been a source of stress and anxiety for the past few days because I just don't know if I can do another contest. Running for NextUp was probably my least favourite thing I have ever done on the internet because I cannot and do not enjoy selling myself in any way. I didn't like reminding people to vote, didn't like being open about the fact that I needed money and didn't like feeling that I could not win if I didn't keep badgering people about it. It just sort of sickened me and, at the time, I told myself I'd never do another contest again. However, King of the Web spans over a month, so it's not has high-tension and stressful. In addition, it is sort of a cool idea for a contest and the people who work for KotW seem really awesome. I'm going to a gathering tomorrow in Seattle hosted by them and I'm thinking that I will decide there if I am or am not running. However, I wanted you guys to weigh in. Would you hate me if I ran for another contest? I promise, I wouldn't be annoying about it. If anything, it means more uploads from me so that in the annotations, I can remind people to vote or something. I just wanted to know what you guys thought. As you know, I'm moving to another country and I could really use the money because England is a freaking expensive place to live. So just let me know what you think in the comments and that would be great!
Thanks again to that Dryden kid for his post yesterday and I don't know if you read the comments, Liam, but the people want you back in their lives. Go make a video or something, yeah? It'd be much appreciated by us all. As for everyone else, I'll see you tomorrow for my LAST BEDA POST of August 2011. No idea what to post and I have a really busy day planned, so we shall see. Until then! x
Days til London: 12.
29 August 2011
Eggrolls and Preparation
HAY.
So due to an unforeseen and regrettable situation involving a lack of eggrolls in her system, Kayley can't come to the blog right now. Fortunately, she has a myriad of friends to summon from their Poké Balls to fill in for her, and today I am one such loyal fuzzy friend. Really I'm just a Growlithe with a nickname. I'm Liam Dryden.
You might know me from such achievements as "being chastised for watching My Little Pony", "Haha you liked Dream Street", "this gif", and many other little notes amongst Kayley's so far stellar attempt at BEDA.
I'm actually very envious of people who can commit to regular blogging, actually; I had a normal text blog a while back, but gave up on it after I got overly angsty (but now I have TUMBLR, where I incessantly post mostly .gifs of animals doing weird things with the tag "gpoy").
In fact, keeping up regular content in any shape is a massive Achilles' Heel for me, and many other people in my position. For those reading this who are familiar with my YouTube channel, you'll notice I haven't uploaded anything in over a month. And due to a need to make this entry more engageable, rather than go off on a self-indulgent tangent explaining why, I guess I ought to pass on to anyone who has been inspired by awesome BEDA writers like Kayley, one of the greatest lessons I've learned from other vloggers and bloggers and nerds (oh my); preparation.
Other people I know put a LOT of preparation into their schedule. Folks who upload videos weekly often have their next bunch of videos mapped out, or at least briefly noted down, weeks in advance. Some know they'll be doing something or going somewhere that will compromise their schedule, so they'll film and edit a whole bunch of videos at once, or they'll write a few blog drafts to systematically post later.
And if push comes to shove, they'll just get a friend to do it (HI KAYLEY).
These are just a few obvious examples, but preparation for content creators comes in lots of forms. If you're a beginning or aspiring blogger or videomaker, the best thing to do is figure out what method suits you; but for the love of god do SOME form of preparation, lest you end up in a blank funk of next-to-no content like me!
Alright, Kayley just got back and the eggroll place was CLOSED. So I guess I'd better go console her over Skype. Nice talking to ya!
28 August 2011
Final Countdown
I just wanted to start this post by thanking you guys for the wonderful response to the blog I posted yesterday to my friend. For those of you who didn't know, one of my best friends was killed in a car accident when we were twelve and it has been something I have struggled with ever since, so writing that letter a few weeks ago was a big step for me, but as I said, it didn't feel like I could truly moved on until I admitted it to the world in some way. So I did and it felt good and thank you for letting me do that.
So what have I been doing the past couple of days, let me tell you…Well, on Friday, when Adam blogged for me, I was busy doing really important things, such as baking french toast muffins and watching old episodes of Braceface and discovering Santa. No seriously. I spent a significant chunk of Friday waiting for things to happen on this ustream because that is apparently where Santa Clause works. It was a thrilling experience that simply could not be put on hold for blogging. Then yesterday I had a pretty long day. Woke up early to walk downtown and get coffee, go to the bank and post office, stop by the farmers market for some delicious nectarines and just other errands. After that, I watched "Let's Kill Hitler" and was exceedingly disappointed (TARDIStacular video reviewing it will probably be filmed/posted tomorrow) and the new episode of Torchwood…which was surprisingly really good, as I haven't been super into this season. Last night, I went over to my grandmother's house and had dinner with a lot of my family, chatted to my cousin (well, more or less, her mom and my uncle have been together for years, so she sort of feels like a cousin) about her engagement and said a few goodbyes. Actually, my uncle is never around for Christmas, so I don't even know when I'll be seeing him next. Not till next summer, at least! Crazy. By the way, posted a video on why I'm studying abroad yesterday, if you're interested.
My final fortnight in America has arrived, at long last! It sort of hit me yesterday how much I do have to do. I will have plenty of time to do it and I am not remotely worried, but still have people to see, videos to film and a mountain to climb (both metaphorically and physically with Kristina). This is the day I have been anticipating for so long and it is insane that I am here, two weeks away from doing something I have been wanting since I was about seven years old. I guess the lesson here is to never tell yourself that you can't do exactly what you want, because I am about to and it is invigorating.
It also occurred to me for the first time, believe it or not, that I am also about to go back to school. Well, I have a month till classes begin, but still. I have been so excited for the traveling and the friends, that it has pretty much completely slipped my mind that I have a whole new style of teaching to become adjusted to. I will have to write papers and attend classes again! University summers seem so long and the concept of going back to school is becoming incredibly daunting and I'm nervous. Luckily, I've always been a pretty decent student, but every country treats education differently, so I don't quite know what to expect. I'm quite happy I still have that month, at any rate!
Alright. "Clean room" has been on my to-do list for a week and still has not managed to get crossed off, so I better do that before I begin the packing! Also, my dad is making Swedish pancakes; my faaavourite. Hope you all have nice, relaxing Saturdays and if you are on the east coast, stay safe and all of that good stuff. To be honest, I don't really know how it's going over there, but I'm rooting for you. Go team human! I'll see you guys tomorrow. x
Days til London: 14.
So what have I been doing the past couple of days, let me tell you…Well, on Friday, when Adam blogged for me, I was busy doing really important things, such as baking french toast muffins and watching old episodes of Braceface and discovering Santa. No seriously. I spent a significant chunk of Friday waiting for things to happen on this ustream because that is apparently where Santa Clause works. It was a thrilling experience that simply could not be put on hold for blogging. Then yesterday I had a pretty long day. Woke up early to walk downtown and get coffee, go to the bank and post office, stop by the farmers market for some delicious nectarines and just other errands. After that, I watched "Let's Kill Hitler" and was exceedingly disappointed (TARDIStacular video reviewing it will probably be filmed/posted tomorrow) and the new episode of Torchwood…which was surprisingly really good, as I haven't been super into this season. Last night, I went over to my grandmother's house and had dinner with a lot of my family, chatted to my cousin (well, more or less, her mom and my uncle have been together for years, so she sort of feels like a cousin) about her engagement and said a few goodbyes. Actually, my uncle is never around for Christmas, so I don't even know when I'll be seeing him next. Not till next summer, at least! Crazy. By the way, posted a video on why I'm studying abroad yesterday, if you're interested.
My final fortnight in America has arrived, at long last! It sort of hit me yesterday how much I do have to do. I will have plenty of time to do it and I am not remotely worried, but still have people to see, videos to film and a mountain to climb (both metaphorically and physically with Kristina). This is the day I have been anticipating for so long and it is insane that I am here, two weeks away from doing something I have been wanting since I was about seven years old. I guess the lesson here is to never tell yourself that you can't do exactly what you want, because I am about to and it is invigorating.
It also occurred to me for the first time, believe it or not, that I am also about to go back to school. Well, I have a month till classes begin, but still. I have been so excited for the traveling and the friends, that it has pretty much completely slipped my mind that I have a whole new style of teaching to become adjusted to. I will have to write papers and attend classes again! University summers seem so long and the concept of going back to school is becoming incredibly daunting and I'm nervous. Luckily, I've always been a pretty decent student, but every country treats education differently, so I don't quite know what to expect. I'm quite happy I still have that month, at any rate!
Alright. "Clean room" has been on my to-do list for a week and still has not managed to get crossed off, so I better do that before I begin the packing! Also, my dad is making Swedish pancakes; my faaavourite. Hope you all have nice, relaxing Saturdays and if you are on the east coast, stay safe and all of that good stuff. To be honest, I don't really know how it's going over there, but I'm rooting for you. Go team human! I'll see you guys tomorrow. x
Days til London: 14.
27 August 2011
Twelve
I wrote this earlier in the summer (by hand and typed it up to remember), but it didn't feel honest until I put it out into the world. So this is me, shouting to the world and writing to an old friend. Hope you enjoyed Adam's post yesterday and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
When we were twelve, nothing seemed overly important. We learned about the moon and Egypt and took turns pushing the cart around to pick up trays at lunch. When we were twelve, we fought about music because I liked rock and you liked rap. When we were twelve, we always chose opposite kickball teams so that we could each be captains and dominate the field. You usually won and I was a graceful loser…insisting that I would most definitely win the next game. When we were twelve, you thought I was silly for going to the midnight premiere of the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. You told me it was for nerds and I told you that Zoolander was still not funny. When we were twelve, you hid from the camera that I over-enthusiastically flashed at anyone who walked passed. When we were twelve, we'd spend all afternoon on your trampoline and I would steal your blue hat. When we were twelve, you told me that no matter what middle school you went to, you'd always be around. When we were twelve, we finished primary school and you went to visit family and you got in that car and you left. Not just this state, but this world. You left me, when we were twelve.
I waited. They told me it was your brother at first and I worried for you. I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn't answer your phone. The phone you had gotten three months before me. Our first cell phones. Your last cell phone. I called and I text messaged and you never got back. Because it wasn't your brother, it was you. There was no more kickball and no more trampoline. The pictures never held your face because you refused to show it and the trays were left to me and the others to collect. And, most importantly, you were not around.
When we were twelve, we didn't fear what we had no concept of. I did not worry because you promised. When I was twelve, I did not understand anger or fear, until you weren't there to talk about them with me. The confusion set in, then. The confusion and fear and sadness that I did not shake for many years. The day they told me, I didn't believe them. Broke down and fought it with every fibre of my being because you could not be gone. Every day that you didn't call was another reminder that you were never going to. Did I mention that your name is still stored in my phone? Three phones later and I still can't part with the familiarity of your name in there. I would write you letters and sneak out in the middle of the night to set them, not beside your grave, but under the fence hear the grave that we would climb over to get to the short-cut. Funny how close the two were, really. I think you would have liked that, if you weren't only twelve. If you had done more, seen more, been more, you would have appreciated the irony of the location a bit more. I thought the letters would help. I convinced myself that they did help. Every letter to you was one step closer to letting you go and, in turn, letting me go. Letting me grow.
You've missed a lot. My letters stopped in 2008 when it happened. You know what "it" was, no doubt. One of the few, even. Still haven't opened up about that to many people. I promised I would, but hey, you promised a few things, too. I still think about you and how you'd react to seeing me now. You'd still call me a nerd and you'd be more right than ever, but you'd look at what I'm doing and remind me that this has always been it. This was always the dream for the both of us: enjoying here while it lasted and getting out.
I just wanted you to know that it's been seven years to the day that they told me and, you know what? I'm happy. It has come and gone in stages, and nothing ever goes just right, but none of that matters. Seven has always been and will always be my lucky number. It took my seven years to finally admit that I don't need to hold on anymore. You hurt me more than anyone has since and because of you, I did plenty of my own hurting, as well. But not anymore. To quote Martha Jones, a character from a show called Doctor Who that I know you would never watch, "this is me…getting out." Thank you, for everything, and I hope you're proud, I really do. I always did have an affinity for impressing you. Everything you have taught me will be with me through the rest of my life and no longer will those lessons be a reminder that you're gone, but a reminder that you were here and that, as a result of them, you always will be. Thank you for being there until we were twelve. xx K.
Days til London: 15.
When we were twelve, nothing seemed overly important. We learned about the moon and Egypt and took turns pushing the cart around to pick up trays at lunch. When we were twelve, we fought about music because I liked rock and you liked rap. When we were twelve, we always chose opposite kickball teams so that we could each be captains and dominate the field. You usually won and I was a graceful loser…insisting that I would most definitely win the next game. When we were twelve, you thought I was silly for going to the midnight premiere of the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. You told me it was for nerds and I told you that Zoolander was still not funny. When we were twelve, you hid from the camera that I over-enthusiastically flashed at anyone who walked passed. When we were twelve, we'd spend all afternoon on your trampoline and I would steal your blue hat. When we were twelve, you told me that no matter what middle school you went to, you'd always be around. When we were twelve, we finished primary school and you went to visit family and you got in that car and you left. Not just this state, but this world. You left me, when we were twelve.
I waited. They told me it was your brother at first and I worried for you. I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn't answer your phone. The phone you had gotten three months before me. Our first cell phones. Your last cell phone. I called and I text messaged and you never got back. Because it wasn't your brother, it was you. There was no more kickball and no more trampoline. The pictures never held your face because you refused to show it and the trays were left to me and the others to collect. And, most importantly, you were not around.
When we were twelve, we didn't fear what we had no concept of. I did not worry because you promised. When I was twelve, I did not understand anger or fear, until you weren't there to talk about them with me. The confusion set in, then. The confusion and fear and sadness that I did not shake for many years. The day they told me, I didn't believe them. Broke down and fought it with every fibre of my being because you could not be gone. Every day that you didn't call was another reminder that you were never going to. Did I mention that your name is still stored in my phone? Three phones later and I still can't part with the familiarity of your name in there. I would write you letters and sneak out in the middle of the night to set them, not beside your grave, but under the fence hear the grave that we would climb over to get to the short-cut. Funny how close the two were, really. I think you would have liked that, if you weren't only twelve. If you had done more, seen more, been more, you would have appreciated the irony of the location a bit more. I thought the letters would help. I convinced myself that they did help. Every letter to you was one step closer to letting you go and, in turn, letting me go. Letting me grow.
You've missed a lot. My letters stopped in 2008 when it happened. You know what "it" was, no doubt. One of the few, even. Still haven't opened up about that to many people. I promised I would, but hey, you promised a few things, too. I still think about you and how you'd react to seeing me now. You'd still call me a nerd and you'd be more right than ever, but you'd look at what I'm doing and remind me that this has always been it. This was always the dream for the both of us: enjoying here while it lasted and getting out.
I just wanted you to know that it's been seven years to the day that they told me and, you know what? I'm happy. It has come and gone in stages, and nothing ever goes just right, but none of that matters. Seven has always been and will always be my lucky number. It took my seven years to finally admit that I don't need to hold on anymore. You hurt me more than anyone has since and because of you, I did plenty of my own hurting, as well. But not anymore. To quote Martha Jones, a character from a show called Doctor Who that I know you would never watch, "this is me…getting out." Thank you, for everything, and I hope you're proud, I really do. I always did have an affinity for impressing you. Everything you have taught me will be with me through the rest of my life and no longer will those lessons be a reminder that you're gone, but a reminder that you were here and that, as a result of them, you always will be. Thank you for being there until we were twelve. xx K.
Days til London: 15.
26 August 2011
youraverageblog
Kayley: ADAM
Kayley: WRITE MY BLOG
Kayley: FOR BEDA
Adam: REALLY?!
Kayley: YES
Adam: okay!
Kayley: YES
Kayley: you can write aaaanything
Adam: that's exactly what i was planning on!
Hello, my name is Adam. I am the unfortunate bearer of the bad news that I am not Kayley Hyde and, no matter how I try, will never be (unless you count my Sims character). However, I am her substitute today. Think of it like this: Kayley is the accomplished, beloved English teacher who is off on some radical vacation in Cabo or something and I am the fresh-out-of-college substitute who is terrified of the students.
This blog post is now about substitute teachers.
When I was in middle school, there was a legendary substitute teacher named Mr. Beck. He was everyone’s favorite because halfway through class he would stop everything and read from the Darwin Awards. Also, you know that episode of Boy Meets World where Eric lives in the wilderness and carries that lollipop on a necklace? Mr. Beck totally did that. Now that I think about it, that was sort of disgusting because he had a pretty hairy chest, but at the time we thought it was the best thing ever.
My worst substitute experience was in 7th grade science. We got one of those aforementioned fresh-out-of-college subs. He came in wearing a t-shirt from some band we had never heard of, skinny jeans, and Chuck Taylors. He didn’t look like an authority figure and we didn’t treat him like one, because at age 13, children are horrible and ruthless. We had a science question that we would have to answer at the start of each class, usually something like “Explain subduction zones” or “Give an example of an igneous rock”. This guy’s question was “Are there any absolutes?” and then attempted to lead a class full of 7th graders into a deep philosophical discussion. It did not go well. He spent the rest of the class looking dejected and reading a book about taxes.
Substituting seems like it would be an awful job. You never get a chance to establish any sort of reputation or relationship with the kids and just sort of drift from place to place. I think that middle school substitute ranks right up there with stablehand in terms of unpleasantness.
So the moral of this blog post is be nice to substitute teachers or something. I dunno. I’m just a sub, don’t expect too much out of me.
Kayley: WRITE MY BLOG
Kayley: FOR BEDA
Adam: REALLY?!
Kayley: YES
Adam: okay!
Kayley: YES
Kayley: you can write aaaanything
Adam: that's exactly what i was planning on!
Hello, my name is Adam. I am the unfortunate bearer of the bad news that I am not Kayley Hyde and, no matter how I try, will never be (unless you count my Sims character). However, I am her substitute today. Think of it like this: Kayley is the accomplished, beloved English teacher who is off on some radical vacation in Cabo or something and I am the fresh-out-of-college substitute who is terrified of the students.
This blog post is now about substitute teachers.
When I was in middle school, there was a legendary substitute teacher named Mr. Beck. He was everyone’s favorite because halfway through class he would stop everything and read from the Darwin Awards. Also, you know that episode of Boy Meets World where Eric lives in the wilderness and carries that lollipop on a necklace? Mr. Beck totally did that. Now that I think about it, that was sort of disgusting because he had a pretty hairy chest, but at the time we thought it was the best thing ever.
My worst substitute experience was in 7th grade science. We got one of those aforementioned fresh-out-of-college subs. He came in wearing a t-shirt from some band we had never heard of, skinny jeans, and Chuck Taylors. He didn’t look like an authority figure and we didn’t treat him like one, because at age 13, children are horrible and ruthless. We had a science question that we would have to answer at the start of each class, usually something like “Explain subduction zones” or “Give an example of an igneous rock”. This guy’s question was “Are there any absolutes?” and then attempted to lead a class full of 7th graders into a deep philosophical discussion. It did not go well. He spent the rest of the class looking dejected and reading a book about taxes.
Substituting seems like it would be an awful job. You never get a chance to establish any sort of reputation or relationship with the kids and just sort of drift from place to place. I think that middle school substitute ranks right up there with stablehand in terms of unpleasantness.
So the moral of this blog post is be nice to substitute teachers or something. I dunno. I’m just a sub, don’t expect too much out of me.
25 August 2011
Anecdotes of Sorts
Today is the day on my blog where I'm just going to give you little snippets, little anecdotes, little insights as to what is going on in my life today. Here we go.
Earlier in the summer, I completely cleared out my room and rearranged the furniture because it had become incredibly claustrophobic after a large, relatively empty residence hall room. After this, my older dog, Winnie, became accustomed to sleeping on my floor. This was fine up until she decided to start gnawing her leg off (well, not really, but she gets stressed and bites her leg and it's gross.) So, we have to put medicine on it and that medicine happens to smell like spoiled milk. Honestly. For weeks I thought I had SOMEHOW lost a glass of milk in some corner of my room. Upon figuring out what it was, I sort of had to ban her from my room or else I would honestly feel ill. And now, she still sometimes comes to the door and tries to push it open like she used to. Every now and then I just head her sort of crash into the door and then saunter off. It crushed my soul, but also makes me less nauseous. And the point of this story was to tell you that it just happened again. Sad times.
I am currently watching Casablanca for my second time ever, first time in years. I definitely have to be in certain moods for old films, but when I am in the right mood, god, do I love them. This film is just so charming and beautiful.
Sunday is the day I am finally going to let myself officially pack, as it means that I am two weeks from departing. Therefore the next three days will be spent mentally packing and trying to decide what I will and won't need abroad. Essentially what this means is that when I walk into my room, I do a brief inventory of everything I own and contemplate my attachment to it. It's strange.
To the person who asked yesterday what I intend to study, it will probably be either film or journalism/media. Both things obviously very prevalent in my life as it is, so why not turn them into a career path? Or something.
Editing video from when I went to the fake Stonehenge. This is the first video I have ever made with the intention of being similar to a Thoughts From Places video. I find it slightly annoying that any video where you share thoughts and go places is considered a TfP video these days because, let's be honest, people were making videos from places with thoughts long before John and Hank put a name to it. However, this video has the same format as one of their videos, so I would say it was inspired by them. It's the only one that I have thought of them while editing, though.
My best friend is currently studying abroad in Florence, Italy. As I mentioned yesterday, I was looking at American universities in London. My first pick has a study abroad program in Florence and I just didn't think anything of it until I talked to her today, sent her the website and found out that it is the same school she is at. Typical. The whole world of universities and we look at the exact same one. One mind.
Currently, I am craving eggrolls and mozzarella sticks. The closest Chinese food place is right next to the closest places that sells mozzarella sticks. As in, they share a parking lot that is only for the two places. It's meant to be, right? That wouldn't be too unhealthy...right? I'm gross.
Introduced Liam to Dream Street. For those of you unaware as to what Dream Street is...I'll let you YouTube that. He was totally into it (lie), wanted to hear more (lie) and said that if he had known about them when he was their age, he'd "totally want to be a part of it" (truth). If you read this blog and would like to comment on his channel that you'll find him down on Dream Street. Well. I wouldn't complain.
I am currently trying to sell some of my things that have been sitting around, not getting the attention they deserve. I have a video here showing them and I bid you to email me at kayleyhyde@gmail if you're interested. I don't mean to sound like I'm selling things or anything, I just figured asking people who watch my videos was a cooler way to get rid of nice things, rather than putting them up for random people on eBay. If you disagree, that's cool, you just don't have to watch the video or buy anything :P Also, bear in mind that while the prices are sort of high, most of them are at least, usually more, than $25 more on eBay or anything like that. Since typing this I've made two sales, so wonderful!
I got the eggrolls and mozzarella sticks. Only ate one of the mozzarella sticks, so I don't feel too ashamed in myself. Or at least that's what I'll tell the internet.
This will haunt your dreams. You've been warned.
This plan would have worked between if I hadn't spent the last five or six hours in a skype call. Oops. Um. Guess I'll see you tomorrow! x
Days till London: 17.
Earlier in the summer, I completely cleared out my room and rearranged the furniture because it had become incredibly claustrophobic after a large, relatively empty residence hall room. After this, my older dog, Winnie, became accustomed to sleeping on my floor. This was fine up until she decided to start gnawing her leg off (well, not really, but she gets stressed and bites her leg and it's gross.) So, we have to put medicine on it and that medicine happens to smell like spoiled milk. Honestly. For weeks I thought I had SOMEHOW lost a glass of milk in some corner of my room. Upon figuring out what it was, I sort of had to ban her from my room or else I would honestly feel ill. And now, she still sometimes comes to the door and tries to push it open like she used to. Every now and then I just head her sort of crash into the door and then saunter off. It crushed my soul, but also makes me less nauseous. And the point of this story was to tell you that it just happened again. Sad times.
I am currently watching Casablanca for my second time ever, first time in years. I definitely have to be in certain moods for old films, but when I am in the right mood, god, do I love them. This film is just so charming and beautiful.
Sunday is the day I am finally going to let myself officially pack, as it means that I am two weeks from departing. Therefore the next three days will be spent mentally packing and trying to decide what I will and won't need abroad. Essentially what this means is that when I walk into my room, I do a brief inventory of everything I own and contemplate my attachment to it. It's strange.
To the person who asked yesterday what I intend to study, it will probably be either film or journalism/media. Both things obviously very prevalent in my life as it is, so why not turn them into a career path? Or something.
Editing video from when I went to the fake Stonehenge. This is the first video I have ever made with the intention of being similar to a Thoughts From Places video. I find it slightly annoying that any video where you share thoughts and go places is considered a TfP video these days because, let's be honest, people were making videos from places with thoughts long before John and Hank put a name to it. However, this video has the same format as one of their videos, so I would say it was inspired by them. It's the only one that I have thought of them while editing, though.
My best friend is currently studying abroad in Florence, Italy. As I mentioned yesterday, I was looking at American universities in London. My first pick has a study abroad program in Florence and I just didn't think anything of it until I talked to her today, sent her the website and found out that it is the same school she is at. Typical. The whole world of universities and we look at the exact same one. One mind.
Currently, I am craving eggrolls and mozzarella sticks. The closest Chinese food place is right next to the closest places that sells mozzarella sticks. As in, they share a parking lot that is only for the two places. It's meant to be, right? That wouldn't be too unhealthy...right? I'm gross.
Introduced Liam to Dream Street. For those of you unaware as to what Dream Street is...I'll let you YouTube that. He was totally into it (lie), wanted to hear more (lie) and said that if he had known about them when he was their age, he'd "totally want to be a part of it" (truth). If you read this blog and would like to comment on his channel that you'll find him down on Dream Street. Well. I wouldn't complain.
I am currently trying to sell some of my things that have been sitting around, not getting the attention they deserve. I have a video here showing them and I bid you to email me at kayleyhyde@gmail if you're interested. I don't mean to sound like I'm selling things or anything, I just figured asking people who watch my videos was a cooler way to get rid of nice things, rather than putting them up for random people on eBay. If you disagree, that's cool, you just don't have to watch the video or buy anything :P Also, bear in mind that while the prices are sort of high, most of them are at least, usually more, than $25 more on eBay or anything like that. Since typing this I've made two sales, so wonderful!
I got the eggrolls and mozzarella sticks. Only ate one of the mozzarella sticks, so I don't feel too ashamed in myself. Or at least that's what I'll tell the internet.
This will haunt your dreams. You've been warned.
This plan would have worked between if I hadn't spent the last five or six hours in a skype call. Oops. Um. Guess I'll see you tomorrow! x
Days till London: 17.
24 August 2011
Academia
This has been a really question filled week. Between the two blogs here to the faq/q&a video I posted yesterday, I feel like I have divulged so much information about myself, haha. Due to that, I think I'll keep this blog pretty short. I've spent my last couple days pretty much doing a lot of nothing. Yesterday I made peanut butter and jelly bars and we took them over to my grandmother's house. Today, I've spent all morning looking up universities to transfer to next year. For those of you who don't know the specifics of my academic life, that's good! That means you aren't stalking me! Essentially, I went to a university in Seattle, did not enjoy myself, am studying abroad this year and intend to stay abroad after that. So, yes, I've been looking at American universities abroad, as well as just European universities. I would like to maybe remain in London or go to Edinburgh, but who knows? I sure as hell don't. Side note: I'm an academic mess. I'll figure it out at some point. Maybe.
Other interesting things from today include getting tickets to see Greg Holden in London in October (with Lex, Marion, Liam and hopefully Rosianna), re-watching The Doctor's Wife ("did you wish really hard?" is still my favourite line) and the season finale of The Hour. What the heck, UK television? Why are your seasons so short, bro? Lame. Alright, I have an episode of Alphas to watch and clothing to sell at Plato's Closet. Apologies for lame-ness! Sort of. Here's an image of the Elliot fan club, or something.
Days til London: 18.
Other interesting things from today include getting tickets to see Greg Holden in London in October (with Lex, Marion, Liam and hopefully Rosianna), re-watching The Doctor's Wife ("did you wish really hard?" is still my favourite line) and the season finale of The Hour. What the heck, UK television? Why are your seasons so short, bro? Lame. Alright, I have an episode of Alphas to watch and clothing to sell at Plato's Closet. Apologies for lame-ness! Sort of. Here's an image of the Elliot fan club, or something.
Days til London: 18.
23 August 2011
Friendship Advice
Once again, I am not the expert at friendships. I care deeply about my friends and try to be the best friend I can be, so I figured I'd answer some of the questions that I get frequently. Here we gooo...
Pretend you have two good friends, but these two friends hate each other (we'll call them X and Y). You're at a party that X put on and you've been there for a few hours now, X only invited Y to the party because shes attempting to be friendly and accepting. Y gets there and stays for a while the and the other friend asks you to leave what do you do?
Well, it depends on your relationships with the friends and the type of party. From this situation, though, I'd say that X invited you to a party and if Y doesn't want to be there, than they can leave and you can make plans another night. Not everyone will always like each other and it sucks, but you have to work with it. Make plans on different nights. Be honest with both of them that you care about them and don't want to lose either of them. It will be annoying and tedious, but they're probably worth it, so if they are really not willing to put up with one another, you have to just go with it.
How do you make new friends? / How to make friends in your first year of university?
For university, go to all of the bullshit events. I know, they almost always suck, but that is where you make friends. Those first few weeks are CRUCIAL. Put yourself out there, share what you love with people, find people with similar interests. Maybe wear a symbol of something you like (DFTBA or band shirt, Deathly Hallows necklace, etc), so that people will see it and comment on it. Maybe join a cool club because even if you don't keep going to the meetings, you may make a friend or two in there. If you can't find people with the same interests, than try to meet people who seem genuine and awesome and you guys can learn things/interests from one another.
For making friends in general, the advice is similar. Confidence is key. If you reassure yourself that you are awesome and that you'll make friends, you probably will. Just never miss an opportunity to hang out with like-minded people. Go to book events or gigs of your favorite bands. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. I just want to scream that to the world. I spent so long, my entire academic career until this point, being upset that no one I met was as great as my friends online. I sat in my room and was miserable. Don't be like me, okay? I was dumb. Now I am wise in this area…or something.
If you want to make friends online, try and find people who watch the same YouTubers or hang out in the same blogtv shows. Give yourself a presence by commenting and even making videos. Also, don't go into it hoping to become best friends with Charlie. Because, let's be honest, that not really how it's going to work. Don't seek out 'famous' friends online, just find people you think are awesome and do not be a crazy, fangirl-y (read: creepy) person and you'll probably find someone.
For more on making friends, see Paige's videos, because she is pro at making friends both in real life and on the internet.
Could you give advice about toxic friendships? Like how to know you're in one, how to deal with it, etc. The easy answer is to say "get out of it", but if you've ever been in one you know it's more complicated than that. Because there's still a reason why they're your friend, you may see them a lot, and they're friends with your friends.
I have a unique experience with toxic people in my life and my advice is not really what anyone wants to hear. What I do to put up with it is to simply, well, ignore it. I am a confident enough person that I never let the person in question impact what I think about myself. I will say, however, that I very often leave their place feeling incredibly drained at their amount of negativity and that can just be exhausting. Another tactic I try is to keep them positive by making a lot of jokes when things go wrong and that person is particularly stressed.
More than anything, I think you have to remember that it is almost never entirely their fault. Toxic people (I really dislike that term, but it is easy for the sake of this blog) are not trying to be that way. Most of them are dealing with anxiety, depression, self-loathing or a combination. This is just a coping mechanism and while you cannot treat them like they are mentally unsound or something, you have to remember that they are, most likely, not meaning to hurt you. Trying talking to them. Many people do not realise that they are being offensive or tearing you down and they are just naturally pessimistic or sarcastic. Maybe they think they're being funny and do not realise you aren't laughing along. Just make sure they know you are unhappy with what is going on. From there, see what happens. Maybe they will be more honest about what is really going on or maybe they'll be more offensive. If the latter does happen, you'll need to learn how to distance yourself. I'm not saying get out, I'm saying go to another room. Metaphorically. You probably don't want to just hang around their kitchen or something. Just go a few days without talking to them and see if they want to contact you. Try meeting in public where they are less likely to tear you down so much and test the waters. It's a lot of trial and error and I have dealt with it my whole life. Just, and this is really corny and important so listen up Nicholas Sparks (and readers), go into it loving yourself. If you love yourself, there is nothing that anyone can say to break you. Think of the perfect prison in Doctor Who's "Day of the Moon." You are impenetrable and no one can tear you down.
I’d love to hear your tips on reconnecting with friends you’ve lost touch with. And on a similar level, how to keep in touch long distance?
These are my specialties! Fantastic. Alright, so, in most of my friendships, these two things go very hand in hand, so I will sort of address them at once to begin with. I have a lot of friends all over the world, but I also have friends here at home. This means that when I am at home, I have a lot of people to keep in contact with and when I am traveling, there's a lot to catch up on when I get home. It becomes a huge balance, but I find that a simple "I saw this thing and it reminded me of you because of that thing that happened once, how are you?" text/email is sometimes all it takes. Maybe apologise if it has been awhile and say that you want to catch up. Make it clear that you genuinely care about their life, which I hope you do, and they will understand if time as passed and they will want to do the same. However, you also have to realise when it is time to give up. If you have tried to make plans over and over and the friend doesn't seem to care or want to make it work, then it may not work. I've lost plenty of friends because some people just aren't willing to try. Communication and friendship is a two way street. Never lose sight of that. If you are pulling all of the weight, something is wrong and you either need to talk to them about it, or move on and see if they make an effort.
Specifically focusing on long distance, well, it's hard. Luckily the internet is a wonderful device and has things like Skype, email, Facebook, twitter (direct messages are essentially international texts!), et cetera. Set up times when you want to "hang out" with a long distance friend on Skype. Otherwise, just sort of follow the same reconnecting strategies and they usually work for me!
How much is it acceptable to contact friends or potential friends? (Skype, text, phone call)
This really depends on the friend, you know? Some people are weird about being over-contacted and may get annoyed thinking that you're clingy or something. I think the best thing to do is just test the waters. IM them on Skype from time to time and see how responsive they are and then build towards texting when things remind you of conversations you had or something. I am not a huge phone talker, so phone calls are usually not my area of expertise. I always like being asked before friends call just to talk, because I definitely have to be in a certain mood, haha.
Is there a way of becoming friends with someone you think is cool on youtube without sounding like a stalker?
I will refer you to Paige's video.
And also add that it is hard online these days. I've become friends with people who watch my videos, but rarely online unless I sought them out because I like their videos. There are just so many of you awesome people out there and it's hard for me to, you know, be all of your friends. I don't mean for this to sound like an I'm better than you thing, but I just want to be honest. I have met a lot of people in real life that I did not know previously and watched my videos. It mostly depends on how a person introduces his or herself. I can always tell which people I meet are really happy to meet me because I'm owlssayhooot and who is excited to meet me because I am Kayley. It's hard to describe and it is not something I can teach. Just remember that we are normal people with lives. Many of us are in school or working full time and do not respond to every email. But also, never miss a chance to put yourself out there. You never know where you could make a friend! (I have a feeling I'll get a lot of "putting myself out there!" emails after this…That's probably not a good time, guys. I think that would be contrary to what I'm currently saying xD)
What to do if somebody who doesn't fit in with your 'group' or whatever stays and never leaves?
I won't lie, I tend to just let it happen and ignore them if it's really that bed, hoping they'll get the message. If it really is unbearable, all you can really do is talk to them. Maybe try and get them more involved with conversation and figure out why they don't fit. They could have something great to bring to the group if you give them a chance to show it!
Does a girl have to "step down" being a best friend to a guy if he's dating another girl? One of my friends seemed to think that it causes drama. Who takes the back seat, and why should anybody have to?
I don't think so, no. I think that girlfriend and best friend fulfill very different roles and one should not be dependent on the other or anything. I guess it is up to the guy in question, but from my experience, a girl best friend isn't different from a guy best friend and it is really silly when girlfriends get jealous. If there is drama, just make sure she knows that you're not trying to steal her boyfriend, simple as that. Don't blow it out of proportion and just make sure everyone is on the same page. No one should have to take the back seat.
Did you keep a lot of your high school friends when you went to college?
I didn't have a lot of close friends in high school, but I still have four good friends from my childhood/high school and a few others I hang out with, occasionally. Keep in mind, most of my friends during high school, like now, were on the internet. So. Yup. Most people who went to my high school are all still close friends with one another, though. It's just like any friendship where if you want to maintain it, you can do so if you make an effort.
Hope these help. The feedback on my relationship advice post was incredible both on the blog, to my email and on tumblr. So thank you so much! I'm happy to help and all of that. Now, off to edit sixteen minutes of q&a footage. Eeek...
Days til London: 19. Oh, hey less than 20 days. What's up?
Pretend you have two good friends, but these two friends hate each other (we'll call them X and Y). You're at a party that X put on and you've been there for a few hours now, X only invited Y to the party because shes attempting to be friendly and accepting. Y gets there and stays for a while the and the other friend asks you to leave what do you do?
Well, it depends on your relationships with the friends and the type of party. From this situation, though, I'd say that X invited you to a party and if Y doesn't want to be there, than they can leave and you can make plans another night. Not everyone will always like each other and it sucks, but you have to work with it. Make plans on different nights. Be honest with both of them that you care about them and don't want to lose either of them. It will be annoying and tedious, but they're probably worth it, so if they are really not willing to put up with one another, you have to just go with it.
How do you make new friends? / How to make friends in your first year of university?
For university, go to all of the bullshit events. I know, they almost always suck, but that is where you make friends. Those first few weeks are CRUCIAL. Put yourself out there, share what you love with people, find people with similar interests. Maybe wear a symbol of something you like (DFTBA or band shirt, Deathly Hallows necklace, etc), so that people will see it and comment on it. Maybe join a cool club because even if you don't keep going to the meetings, you may make a friend or two in there. If you can't find people with the same interests, than try to meet people who seem genuine and awesome and you guys can learn things/interests from one another.
For making friends in general, the advice is similar. Confidence is key. If you reassure yourself that you are awesome and that you'll make friends, you probably will. Just never miss an opportunity to hang out with like-minded people. Go to book events or gigs of your favorite bands. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. I just want to scream that to the world. I spent so long, my entire academic career until this point, being upset that no one I met was as great as my friends online. I sat in my room and was miserable. Don't be like me, okay? I was dumb. Now I am wise in this area…or something.
If you want to make friends online, try and find people who watch the same YouTubers or hang out in the same blogtv shows. Give yourself a presence by commenting and even making videos. Also, don't go into it hoping to become best friends with Charlie. Because, let's be honest, that not really how it's going to work. Don't seek out 'famous' friends online, just find people you think are awesome and do not be a crazy, fangirl-y (read: creepy) person and you'll probably find someone.
For more on making friends, see Paige's videos, because she is pro at making friends both in real life and on the internet.
Could you give advice about toxic friendships? Like how to know you're in one, how to deal with it, etc. The easy answer is to say "get out of it", but if you've ever been in one you know it's more complicated than that. Because there's still a reason why they're your friend, you may see them a lot, and they're friends with your friends.
I have a unique experience with toxic people in my life and my advice is not really what anyone wants to hear. What I do to put up with it is to simply, well, ignore it. I am a confident enough person that I never let the person in question impact what I think about myself. I will say, however, that I very often leave their place feeling incredibly drained at their amount of negativity and that can just be exhausting. Another tactic I try is to keep them positive by making a lot of jokes when things go wrong and that person is particularly stressed.
More than anything, I think you have to remember that it is almost never entirely their fault. Toxic people (I really dislike that term, but it is easy for the sake of this blog) are not trying to be that way. Most of them are dealing with anxiety, depression, self-loathing or a combination. This is just a coping mechanism and while you cannot treat them like they are mentally unsound or something, you have to remember that they are, most likely, not meaning to hurt you. Trying talking to them. Many people do not realise that they are being offensive or tearing you down and they are just naturally pessimistic or sarcastic. Maybe they think they're being funny and do not realise you aren't laughing along. Just make sure they know you are unhappy with what is going on. From there, see what happens. Maybe they will be more honest about what is really going on or maybe they'll be more offensive. If the latter does happen, you'll need to learn how to distance yourself. I'm not saying get out, I'm saying go to another room. Metaphorically. You probably don't want to just hang around their kitchen or something. Just go a few days without talking to them and see if they want to contact you. Try meeting in public where they are less likely to tear you down so much and test the waters. It's a lot of trial and error and I have dealt with it my whole life. Just, and this is really corny and important so listen up Nicholas Sparks (and readers), go into it loving yourself. If you love yourself, there is nothing that anyone can say to break you. Think of the perfect prison in Doctor Who's "Day of the Moon." You are impenetrable and no one can tear you down.
I’d love to hear your tips on reconnecting with friends you’ve lost touch with. And on a similar level, how to keep in touch long distance?
These are my specialties! Fantastic. Alright, so, in most of my friendships, these two things go very hand in hand, so I will sort of address them at once to begin with. I have a lot of friends all over the world, but I also have friends here at home. This means that when I am at home, I have a lot of people to keep in contact with and when I am traveling, there's a lot to catch up on when I get home. It becomes a huge balance, but I find that a simple "I saw this thing and it reminded me of you because of that thing that happened once, how are you?" text/email is sometimes all it takes. Maybe apologise if it has been awhile and say that you want to catch up. Make it clear that you genuinely care about their life, which I hope you do, and they will understand if time as passed and they will want to do the same. However, you also have to realise when it is time to give up. If you have tried to make plans over and over and the friend doesn't seem to care or want to make it work, then it may not work. I've lost plenty of friends because some people just aren't willing to try. Communication and friendship is a two way street. Never lose sight of that. If you are pulling all of the weight, something is wrong and you either need to talk to them about it, or move on and see if they make an effort.
Specifically focusing on long distance, well, it's hard. Luckily the internet is a wonderful device and has things like Skype, email, Facebook, twitter (direct messages are essentially international texts!), et cetera. Set up times when you want to "hang out" with a long distance friend on Skype. Otherwise, just sort of follow the same reconnecting strategies and they usually work for me!
How much is it acceptable to contact friends or potential friends? (Skype, text, phone call)
This really depends on the friend, you know? Some people are weird about being over-contacted and may get annoyed thinking that you're clingy or something. I think the best thing to do is just test the waters. IM them on Skype from time to time and see how responsive they are and then build towards texting when things remind you of conversations you had or something. I am not a huge phone talker, so phone calls are usually not my area of expertise. I always like being asked before friends call just to talk, because I definitely have to be in a certain mood, haha.
Is there a way of becoming friends with someone you think is cool on youtube without sounding like a stalker?
I will refer you to Paige's video.
And also add that it is hard online these days. I've become friends with people who watch my videos, but rarely online unless I sought them out because I like their videos. There are just so many of you awesome people out there and it's hard for me to, you know, be all of your friends. I don't mean for this to sound like an I'm better than you thing, but I just want to be honest. I have met a lot of people in real life that I did not know previously and watched my videos. It mostly depends on how a person introduces his or herself. I can always tell which people I meet are really happy to meet me because I'm owlssayhooot and who is excited to meet me because I am Kayley. It's hard to describe and it is not something I can teach. Just remember that we are normal people with lives. Many of us are in school or working full time and do not respond to every email. But also, never miss a chance to put yourself out there. You never know where you could make a friend! (I have a feeling I'll get a lot of "putting myself out there!" emails after this…That's probably not a good time, guys. I think that would be contrary to what I'm currently saying xD)
What to do if somebody who doesn't fit in with your 'group' or whatever stays and never leaves?
I won't lie, I tend to just let it happen and ignore them if it's really that bed, hoping they'll get the message. If it really is unbearable, all you can really do is talk to them. Maybe try and get them more involved with conversation and figure out why they don't fit. They could have something great to bring to the group if you give them a chance to show it!
Does a girl have to "step down" being a best friend to a guy if he's dating another girl? One of my friends seemed to think that it causes drama. Who takes the back seat, and why should anybody have to?
I don't think so, no. I think that girlfriend and best friend fulfill very different roles and one should not be dependent on the other or anything. I guess it is up to the guy in question, but from my experience, a girl best friend isn't different from a guy best friend and it is really silly when girlfriends get jealous. If there is drama, just make sure she knows that you're not trying to steal her boyfriend, simple as that. Don't blow it out of proportion and just make sure everyone is on the same page. No one should have to take the back seat.
Did you keep a lot of your high school friends when you went to college?
I didn't have a lot of close friends in high school, but I still have four good friends from my childhood/high school and a few others I hang out with, occasionally. Keep in mind, most of my friends during high school, like now, were on the internet. So. Yup. Most people who went to my high school are all still close friends with one another, though. It's just like any friendship where if you want to maintain it, you can do so if you make an effort.
Hope these help. The feedback on my relationship advice post was incredible both on the blog, to my email and on tumblr. So thank you so much! I'm happy to help and all of that. Now, off to edit sixteen minutes of q&a footage. Eeek...
Days til London: 19. Oh, hey less than 20 days. What's up?
22 August 2011
On Hold
I get a lot of people commenting on how exciting my life is and how much they wish they could have it. Sure, I guess I understand that to a certain extent, but it's days like today that have me really questioning the sanity of those people. xD It is currently 6pm and I'm trying to reflect on what I've done today and there is not much to share. Watch An Education, skyped with friends, danced on iChat for my friend Matt's video and now I'm sitting here watching the pilot of The Lying Game on ABC family and it is just awful. And funny.
A huge part of me knows I'll look back on days like today and wish they were still around. No obligations, no pressing tasks, nothing planned. However, for the time being, I'm sort of miserable. I've hit the point where I cannot even read or make videos. Reading is what I do to chill out and I cannot be more chill. Making videos is starting to feel forced and I haven't liked the last couple that I've made (they won't be posted, no worries.) I've just hit a wall and I sort of feel like I'm losing my mind. It's all internet loops, slippers and tea. Luckily, I just have about one more week of this before I can start packing, have a few things planned with friends and, you know, leave.
So that is me today. Just letting you guys know that I am not always interesting. For interesting things today, I give you this site, alcohol really close up and this gif of Liam. You're welcome. I'm going to go watch Torchwood. See you tomorrow.
Days til London: 20.
A huge part of me knows I'll look back on days like today and wish they were still around. No obligations, no pressing tasks, nothing planned. However, for the time being, I'm sort of miserable. I've hit the point where I cannot even read or make videos. Reading is what I do to chill out and I cannot be more chill. Making videos is starting to feel forced and I haven't liked the last couple that I've made (they won't be posted, no worries.) I've just hit a wall and I sort of feel like I'm losing my mind. It's all internet loops, slippers and tea. Luckily, I just have about one more week of this before I can start packing, have a few things planned with friends and, you know, leave.
So that is me today. Just letting you guys know that I am not always interesting. For interesting things today, I give you this site, alcohol really close up and this gif of Liam. You're welcome. I'm going to go watch Torchwood. See you tomorrow.
Days til London: 20.
21 August 2011
Relationship Advice
Well, I think it is safe to say that I cannot believe that I am writing this. It is honestly something that I have been asked for years and while I never wrote it off, but just could not see myself sitting down to write it. Though I guess now is as good a time as any…let's talk about relationships.
Now, before you get excited, or whatever, we're not talking about my relationships. That would not only be way too personal, but also really awkward. For everyone involved. I just thought I'd try my hand at a little advice, sort of. I do not, by any means, claim to be an expert at these things. I'm not exactly bringing all of the boys to the yard (oh god) and the boys are, regrettably, not wishing their girlfriends were hot like me. However, I have some experience with different kinds of relationships and I know a bit about how what not to do in certain cases. Bear in mind: I am only nineteen, I am not a reliable source and it is not my fault if everything goes horribly wrong. Just…so we have that covered. So, I went to tumblr for some questions…let's do this…
How do you stay on good/decent terms with an ex?
Now, we're starting out in an area that is not exactly my expertise. The thing I cannot stress enough, however, is time. Do not hang out the day after you break-up. Even the week after you break up. You need to give it time to set in that the relationship is over. This doesn't mean you cannot talk to the other person, but do not go out the following day on a would-be-date-if-you-were-still-together. It will almost always lead to awkwardness and questioning the break-up. There was a reason you and that person broke up and no matter how comfortable it feels to just keep hanging out all of the time, you need to acknowledge that you are no longer together. I know it will feel like losing a best friend, but time will make the transition smoother. Also, it absolutely depends on whether or not you were the dumper or dumpee. If you ended the relationship, be very careful about the friend-zone, so that you do not give the wrong impression. You don't want the ex to think you regret the break-up. If you were the dumper, you don't want to seem like you're banging on the persons door wanting them back. Just give it a few days and feel it out slowly. If it was meant to work out, it will. And if the friendship ends up feeling forced and uncomfortable, than it wasn't really meant to be and you'll both feel it and move on.
How do you just say it already? How do you just tell someone (who isn’t clueless) that you like them as more than a friend?
As any of my friends will tell you, I am not an advocate of beating around the bush. I will always give the advice to just do it, or else you'll regret it. I understand that others have a harder time being as forward, but there is never a better time to break out of your shell than when you want to start a relationship. Entering a relationship or testing the waters with confidence is always better than being shy and awkward because you may give the wrong impression. Now, I'm not saying you want up to the person and start making out with them, though, I mean, if you want to…go for it and report back. I'd like to hear the story. What I'm saying is that you should make it known that you are interested. I think this was a girl who asked, so I'll add that you probably think guys are clueless about this sort of thing, but I've found that they usually aren't (unless they are fairly young). They are just as nervous as you and don't know if they are reading the signs right. Guys, same goes the other way. So much miscommunication can happen during this point of a relationship, so just be forward, confident and honest. That's really the best advice I can give without specifics. Ways of doing this could be asking pointed questions, planning on doing things and making it clear you'd like to do them together, without others, or just body language (moving closer to the person, touching their arm, things like that.)
Just let me take a pause right now to let you know that I do not take myself that seriously, so this blog is incredibly difficult for me. Alright, next one…
How do you get over someone?
There is nothing I can say that you haven't heard before. Time. It will suck for a while, sometimes a really freaking long while, but it will pass and you'll meet someone else who will make you a priority in the way the previous person did not. In the meantime, do fun things, hang out with friends, find creative projects, forget about that person. Don't read their blog or stalk them on Facebook or whatever the kids are doing these days (see what I did there?), just do your own thing. You are your own, awesome person who doesn't need him/her. In fact, if you really want to go all out, do something REALLY fantastic that will make them realise what they missed out on (write a great song, travel, etc). Just remember that if they did not appreciate you, they are not worth missing and you'll find someone - probably loads of someones - who will.
How do you make sure that your relationships with your friends and your boyfriends are balanced?
See, this is a really good question that I have definitely struggled with. There is that honeymoon period in a relationship, right when everything is new and interesting and you're both super into it, when everything else tends to go wrong. You slack on work, lose touch with friends, get behind on things, et cetera. I'd say the number one thing is to make sure you tell you're friends that if you let yourself get caught up in the relationship, they let you know. Sometimes a good kick is all we need to remember there are things other than holding hands and forming new inside jokes with a cute boy/girl. In addition, keep yourself in check by sending texts to your friends. Even if you are busy with the significant other for the time being, keep up with all of your friends' lives via text so that you don't fall totally behind. Also, remember how much fun it is to TALK about the significant other to the friends? Yeah. I know. It's the best. Make time for it!
Similarly…
What would you do if you want to spend more time with a friend but they are too focused on their boyfriend and keep turning you down?
Tell them! Be honest! Don't be a bitch, just let them know that it is bothering you or hurting you and ask if you can get together for coffee or a movie or something. If they are still turning you down, ask them when would be a good time for them. Put the ball in their court and see what happens. Also, keep in mind the honeymoon period I mentioned before. It sucks when our friends get so caught up in new relationships that they lose sight of their friends, but it won't last forever! They'll realise after a couple of weeks or months that they have isolated themselves and will likely come crawling (read: stumbling) back into your life. Greet them with open arms and let them know it is okay. And maybe slap them upside the head a bit. Just because it may be necessary.
I’ve liked this guy forever and we’re good friends. I thought I was getting somewhere and then he got a girlfriend! Was I not good enough?
That is not it at all. This situation could be one of the following a) he was too shy to go for you and didn't want to mess up the friendship, so he went for someone else, b) he was oblivious to your hints (see above) or c) he just didn't feel the same way and liked the other girl. Sometimes the answer cannot be found in a Disney Channel movie. Sometimes guys just like girls who aren't their best friends, but that does not mean he is a jerk or that you aren't good enough. It just means he liked someone else. I know it sucks because you like him, but just make sure to keep him as a friend and be happy that he found someone he likes and is, presumably, happy. That's really all you can do. Support him and he'll support you when you find someone new who likes you the way you deserve to be liked.
What do you do when you fall in love with your friend who only sees you as a friend?
This sort of goes with a previous answer or two, but I guess I just thought I'd answer it separately, as well. This happens all of the time, you aren't alone and it will be unpleasant. However, let's be honest, love is at its finest when reciprocated. Any feelings you have that are unrequited will never be quite as wonderful as when you meet someone who cares just as much. So just try to let it go. Hold that friend dear and don't let them go, because there is obviously a reason you care so much, but go out and meet other people. Just, again, let time pass and see what happens. (Broken record, Kayley, GOD.)
How can you distance yourself from building a certain criteria-checklist for a relationship?
Oh, this is interesting because it is not something I have ever had an issue with, to be honest. I suppose that you just have to relax a bit. Maybe shorten the list to two or three basic things and then just see what happens. The thing with lists is that if everyone you date checks off the same boxes, you more-or-less end up dating the same type of person. Just find someone you like talking to and go with the flow - start there. Things may not work out, but at least you'll have broken away from that list a bit.
How to communicate a problem to your significant other that might upset them?
Oh, this is tough. I think a lot of people would tell you to sugar-coat it, but I just say get to it. Let them know that it is a problem, but do make sure they know that it isn't a huge threat. Just be casual about it. Honest and casual. Do not blow it out of proportion, because that will just upset them more. If you're upfront, but not abrasive, they'll be more willing to work with you and try to understand.
How to flirt without using the shameful, cliche whore tricks?
Okay, this made me absolutely LOL. Well, here we go, flirting 101. (quick moment: I REALLY HOPE NO GUY I HAVE EVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH, AM INVOLVED WITH OR WILL BE INVOLVED WITH IN THE FUTURE READS THIS OH GOD.) Something a lot of my friends will tell you about me is that I am a massive flirt and I almost never know that I am doing it. I'm just a friendly person! What this probably means is that when I actually am attempting to flirt, I may be completely over the top. I'm not certain, though. So…take that into consideration. Flirting is something that is really dependent on the person and the location. Ask questions. "Favourite book: go." Things like that. It finds common ground, gives you a conversation and it's just fun to listen to people talk about themselves. People always say they don't like talking about themselves, but once you get them to open up, they'll appreciate you for it. In addition, questions like this can often lead to more telling things that are good to know before throwing yourself at someone (for example, they may hint that they are already in a relationship and you haven't yet embarrassed yourself too much to pull out of flirt-mode, yay!). Do not be afraid of being let down and do not be afraid of them not liking you. Confidence, confidence, confidence. It gets a bad reputation because it is often associated with cockiness or whatever, but honestly, it's attractive. It's just another thing you'll have going for your when you go out ON THE PROWL. Or whatever. Yup.
What is the best way to tell a really sweet guy that you just want to be friends?
I mean, I never got this hesitation. I'll be honest. I think you just said it perfectly. Obviously no one ever wants to hear the dreaded "let's just be friends," but I'm fairly certain there is really no way around it without giving the wrong impression. And even when saying that people get the wrong impression. You just have to tell it like it is and make sure they know that you actually want to be friends and not just that you know a line or two.
How do you know when you're ready to have sex?
Woah, this just got R-rated, or something. Children, step away from this blog post right now. You gone? Good. There is no hard and fast rule for this. What I can tell you is that if you are asking me this, you're probably not ready. What I can also tell you is that every year, almost 750,000 U.S. women between 15 and 19 become pregnant. So contraception is your friend. Your best friend, even. Do not have sex because you feel pressured by anyone at all, including yourself, or for the sake of having it. Have sex because you want to have sex with someone specific and feel comfortable and safe with that specific person and want to share the experience with them. I'm not saying wait until you're married, because not only is that sort of outdated, in my opinion, but I don't want to be a hypocrite. Just...take it slowly and make sure you're always on the same page with the person you're with. Be safe, be honest and trust your mind and your gut, not your hormones.
How many of you have I scared away or aliened after that one? Yeesh...
Every night at 11:11 I wished for this girl who's a close friend to be mine and after a few months it actually worked. But then during our relationship we began to talk less and less and we became more and more a part so I dumped her because I'm a stupid guy and thought everything would just go back to normal. Now we're pretty much strangers, is there any way I can become friends with her again?I think you definitely need to talk to her and tell her what you just told me. Tell her why you did what you did and how you feel now (once you figure out how that is). She should understand if you make it clear that you wanted to save the friendship above all else, because that is was is most important.
What is the protocol on liking somebody your friend likes? Seriously? What the hell do I do?
Alright. My answer is not going to be the answer most people would give you, but here we go. I have never been partial to friend codes along this line. I get bros before hoes, but I do not think it is up to you or your friend. It's up to the person you like. If he/she is into you, then go for it. If they're into your friend, be happy for your friend. Significant others will come and go and if you let something like this get in the way of your friendship, well, that's ridiculous. Obviously, results may vary because there could be back story or your friend could not be as accepting, but I just think that's silly. We cannot determine how others feel and why rid them of the opportunity of having a nice relationship because you have a crush? There are plenty of people out there and I think we all need to accept that sometimes people like other people. Rejection is good; it gives us new experiences and feelings to learn from. So essentially: no protocol, in my opinion. Let what will happen, happen and just roll with it. Also, talk to the friend if a relationship does form. Make sure they know that hormones come and go, but their friendship is important and that you hope that won't ruin it.
Is it inappropriate to tell a friend you don’t think his girlfriend and him are great together?
Yes, if you think it's really true, I'll always advocate for the honesty. Just be prepared to agree to disagree, because people generally don't take to such comments well, no matter the circumstances.We like comfort and we like to overlook the bad things in favour of keeping it.
Do you think a relationship can work when one person goes away for college, and the other is still in high school?
Honestly? I think it can, but don't recommend it. That is such a massive step in a persons life and I think going into it as a sort of clean slate is the best way to go about it. Where's the fun in starting fresh and simultaneously being held down? Man, I sound awful. While I know that is harsh, the one still in high school will understand. I do not hold the illusion that you'll be with your high school sweetheart forever; I'm not much of a romantic. College is a time for new experiences and the people I've know in relationships with girls/guys still in high school don't tend to have as much fun and the relationships don't tend to last long anyway. (Turkey dump, anyone?)
Porn. Love, hate, indifferent? Watch it sometimes? If someone does watch it does it change your opinion of them?
Hate. I do not use that word often, but there you go. I think it is disgusting, never realistic and, frankly, I don't find it hot at all. I don't really talk to people about their porn usage, as a general rule, but it doesn't change my opinion on them. It just sort of baffles me that people find it appealing, but to each their own and all of that.
Is it bad to not have had your first kiss by sixteen? I feel so behind everyone else.
No, no, no. Loads of people don't have their first kiss by sixteen or even later. Let things happen naturally and don't worry about it! You're not alone, promise.
No but seriously, HOW DO YOU DO long distance relationships? I just said goodbye last night, and it was heartbreaking.
I do/have done just about every kind of long distance friendship or relationship you can and I wish I could say those goodbyes get easier, but they don't, not really. It is all about prioritising one another. Finding times that work for both of you to come online and talk and give the relationship some sort of consistency and a bit of routine. Keeping a frequent dialogue via text or email or whatever really helps because it reminds you that even if they are across the world, you can still make it happen. So yeah, I suppose that's the general advice. I'll also add that if they are worth it, you'll never question what you're doing. It is when you start wondering why you're doing it if they are not bothering to put in the effort or you're thinking more about how far away that person is, rather than how great that person is, that you need to talk to that person. Get on the same page and figure out what is or is not working and where to go. Communication and honesty, like I've said for basically every question, ha.
And finally, the inevitable...
Are you still with [insert name here]? Who are you dating?
No, but now that this post is done, I got a hot date with this guy. Jealous?
This was fun/interesting. I have another list of friendship-related questions that I'll put up either tomorrow or in a couple of days. However, I may do another relationship one at some point. If you have more questions, feel free to submit them as comments on this post or here. I hope something in here helped and that I didn't just waste these few precious hours in the middle of the night (it's 2am). Sorry, again, if I sounded like a broken record or anything. Have a great Sunday!
Days till London: 21. I leave in three weeks! Packing will be acceptable soon.
Now, before you get excited, or whatever, we're not talking about my relationships. That would not only be way too personal, but also really awkward. For everyone involved. I just thought I'd try my hand at a little advice, sort of. I do not, by any means, claim to be an expert at these things. I'm not exactly bringing all of the boys to the yard (oh god) and the boys are, regrettably, not wishing their girlfriends were hot like me. However, I have some experience with different kinds of relationships and I know a bit about how what not to do in certain cases. Bear in mind: I am only nineteen, I am not a reliable source and it is not my fault if everything goes horribly wrong. Just…so we have that covered. So, I went to tumblr for some questions…let's do this…
How do you stay on good/decent terms with an ex?
Now, we're starting out in an area that is not exactly my expertise. The thing I cannot stress enough, however, is time. Do not hang out the day after you break-up. Even the week after you break up. You need to give it time to set in that the relationship is over. This doesn't mean you cannot talk to the other person, but do not go out the following day on a would-be-date-if-you-were-still-together. It will almost always lead to awkwardness and questioning the break-up. There was a reason you and that person broke up and no matter how comfortable it feels to just keep hanging out all of the time, you need to acknowledge that you are no longer together. I know it will feel like losing a best friend, but time will make the transition smoother. Also, it absolutely depends on whether or not you were the dumper or dumpee. If you ended the relationship, be very careful about the friend-zone, so that you do not give the wrong impression. You don't want the ex to think you regret the break-up. If you were the dumper, you don't want to seem like you're banging on the persons door wanting them back. Just give it a few days and feel it out slowly. If it was meant to work out, it will. And if the friendship ends up feeling forced and uncomfortable, than it wasn't really meant to be and you'll both feel it and move on.
How do you just say it already? How do you just tell someone (who isn’t clueless) that you like them as more than a friend?
As any of my friends will tell you, I am not an advocate of beating around the bush. I will always give the advice to just do it, or else you'll regret it. I understand that others have a harder time being as forward, but there is never a better time to break out of your shell than when you want to start a relationship. Entering a relationship or testing the waters with confidence is always better than being shy and awkward because you may give the wrong impression. Now, I'm not saying you want up to the person and start making out with them, though, I mean, if you want to…go for it and report back. I'd like to hear the story. What I'm saying is that you should make it known that you are interested. I think this was a girl who asked, so I'll add that you probably think guys are clueless about this sort of thing, but I've found that they usually aren't (unless they are fairly young). They are just as nervous as you and don't know if they are reading the signs right. Guys, same goes the other way. So much miscommunication can happen during this point of a relationship, so just be forward, confident and honest. That's really the best advice I can give without specifics. Ways of doing this could be asking pointed questions, planning on doing things and making it clear you'd like to do them together, without others, or just body language (moving closer to the person, touching their arm, things like that.)
Just let me take a pause right now to let you know that I do not take myself that seriously, so this blog is incredibly difficult for me. Alright, next one…
How do you get over someone?
There is nothing I can say that you haven't heard before. Time. It will suck for a while, sometimes a really freaking long while, but it will pass and you'll meet someone else who will make you a priority in the way the previous person did not. In the meantime, do fun things, hang out with friends, find creative projects, forget about that person. Don't read their blog or stalk them on Facebook or whatever the kids are doing these days (see what I did there?), just do your own thing. You are your own, awesome person who doesn't need him/her. In fact, if you really want to go all out, do something REALLY fantastic that will make them realise what they missed out on (write a great song, travel, etc). Just remember that if they did not appreciate you, they are not worth missing and you'll find someone - probably loads of someones - who will.
How do you make sure that your relationships with your friends and your boyfriends are balanced?
See, this is a really good question that I have definitely struggled with. There is that honeymoon period in a relationship, right when everything is new and interesting and you're both super into it, when everything else tends to go wrong. You slack on work, lose touch with friends, get behind on things, et cetera. I'd say the number one thing is to make sure you tell you're friends that if you let yourself get caught up in the relationship, they let you know. Sometimes a good kick is all we need to remember there are things other than holding hands and forming new inside jokes with a cute boy/girl. In addition, keep yourself in check by sending texts to your friends. Even if you are busy with the significant other for the time being, keep up with all of your friends' lives via text so that you don't fall totally behind. Also, remember how much fun it is to TALK about the significant other to the friends? Yeah. I know. It's the best. Make time for it!
Similarly…
What would you do if you want to spend more time with a friend but they are too focused on their boyfriend and keep turning you down?
Tell them! Be honest! Don't be a bitch, just let them know that it is bothering you or hurting you and ask if you can get together for coffee or a movie or something. If they are still turning you down, ask them when would be a good time for them. Put the ball in their court and see what happens. Also, keep in mind the honeymoon period I mentioned before. It sucks when our friends get so caught up in new relationships that they lose sight of their friends, but it won't last forever! They'll realise after a couple of weeks or months that they have isolated themselves and will likely come crawling (read: stumbling) back into your life. Greet them with open arms and let them know it is okay. And maybe slap them upside the head a bit. Just because it may be necessary.
I’ve liked this guy forever and we’re good friends. I thought I was getting somewhere and then he got a girlfriend! Was I not good enough?
That is not it at all. This situation could be one of the following a) he was too shy to go for you and didn't want to mess up the friendship, so he went for someone else, b) he was oblivious to your hints (see above) or c) he just didn't feel the same way and liked the other girl. Sometimes the answer cannot be found in a Disney Channel movie. Sometimes guys just like girls who aren't their best friends, but that does not mean he is a jerk or that you aren't good enough. It just means he liked someone else. I know it sucks because you like him, but just make sure to keep him as a friend and be happy that he found someone he likes and is, presumably, happy. That's really all you can do. Support him and he'll support you when you find someone new who likes you the way you deserve to be liked.
What do you do when you fall in love with your friend who only sees you as a friend?
This sort of goes with a previous answer or two, but I guess I just thought I'd answer it separately, as well. This happens all of the time, you aren't alone and it will be unpleasant. However, let's be honest, love is at its finest when reciprocated. Any feelings you have that are unrequited will never be quite as wonderful as when you meet someone who cares just as much. So just try to let it go. Hold that friend dear and don't let them go, because there is obviously a reason you care so much, but go out and meet other people. Just, again, let time pass and see what happens. (Broken record, Kayley, GOD.)
How can you distance yourself from building a certain criteria-checklist for a relationship?
Oh, this is interesting because it is not something I have ever had an issue with, to be honest. I suppose that you just have to relax a bit. Maybe shorten the list to two or three basic things and then just see what happens. The thing with lists is that if everyone you date checks off the same boxes, you more-or-less end up dating the same type of person. Just find someone you like talking to and go with the flow - start there. Things may not work out, but at least you'll have broken away from that list a bit.
How to communicate a problem to your significant other that might upset them?
Oh, this is tough. I think a lot of people would tell you to sugar-coat it, but I just say get to it. Let them know that it is a problem, but do make sure they know that it isn't a huge threat. Just be casual about it. Honest and casual. Do not blow it out of proportion, because that will just upset them more. If you're upfront, but not abrasive, they'll be more willing to work with you and try to understand.
How to flirt without using the shameful, cliche whore tricks?
Okay, this made me absolutely LOL. Well, here we go, flirting 101. (quick moment: I REALLY HOPE NO GUY I HAVE EVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH, AM INVOLVED WITH OR WILL BE INVOLVED WITH IN THE FUTURE READS THIS OH GOD.) Something a lot of my friends will tell you about me is that I am a massive flirt and I almost never know that I am doing it. I'm just a friendly person! What this probably means is that when I actually am attempting to flirt, I may be completely over the top. I'm not certain, though. So…take that into consideration. Flirting is something that is really dependent on the person and the location. Ask questions. "Favourite book: go." Things like that. It finds common ground, gives you a conversation and it's just fun to listen to people talk about themselves. People always say they don't like talking about themselves, but once you get them to open up, they'll appreciate you for it. In addition, questions like this can often lead to more telling things that are good to know before throwing yourself at someone (for example, they may hint that they are already in a relationship and you haven't yet embarrassed yourself too much to pull out of flirt-mode, yay!). Do not be afraid of being let down and do not be afraid of them not liking you. Confidence, confidence, confidence. It gets a bad reputation because it is often associated with cockiness or whatever, but honestly, it's attractive. It's just another thing you'll have going for your when you go out ON THE PROWL. Or whatever. Yup.
What is the best way to tell a really sweet guy that you just want to be friends?
I mean, I never got this hesitation. I'll be honest. I think you just said it perfectly. Obviously no one ever wants to hear the dreaded "let's just be friends," but I'm fairly certain there is really no way around it without giving the wrong impression. And even when saying that people get the wrong impression. You just have to tell it like it is and make sure they know that you actually want to be friends and not just that you know a line or two.
How do you know when you're ready to have sex?
Woah, this just got R-rated, or something. Children, step away from this blog post right now. You gone? Good. There is no hard and fast rule for this. What I can tell you is that if you are asking me this, you're probably not ready. What I can also tell you is that every year, almost 750,000 U.S. women between 15 and 19 become pregnant. So contraception is your friend. Your best friend, even. Do not have sex because you feel pressured by anyone at all, including yourself, or for the sake of having it. Have sex because you want to have sex with someone specific and feel comfortable and safe with that specific person and want to share the experience with them. I'm not saying wait until you're married, because not only is that sort of outdated, in my opinion, but I don't want to be a hypocrite. Just...take it slowly and make sure you're always on the same page with the person you're with. Be safe, be honest and trust your mind and your gut, not your hormones.
How many of you have I scared away or aliened after that one? Yeesh...
Every night at 11:11 I wished for this girl who's a close friend to be mine and after a few months it actually worked. But then during our relationship we began to talk less and less and we became more and more a part so I dumped her because I'm a stupid guy and thought everything would just go back to normal. Now we're pretty much strangers, is there any way I can become friends with her again?I think you definitely need to talk to her and tell her what you just told me. Tell her why you did what you did and how you feel now (once you figure out how that is). She should understand if you make it clear that you wanted to save the friendship above all else, because that is was is most important.
What is the protocol on liking somebody your friend likes? Seriously? What the hell do I do?
Alright. My answer is not going to be the answer most people would give you, but here we go. I have never been partial to friend codes along this line. I get bros before hoes, but I do not think it is up to you or your friend. It's up to the person you like. If he/she is into you, then go for it. If they're into your friend, be happy for your friend. Significant others will come and go and if you let something like this get in the way of your friendship, well, that's ridiculous. Obviously, results may vary because there could be back story or your friend could not be as accepting, but I just think that's silly. We cannot determine how others feel and why rid them of the opportunity of having a nice relationship because you have a crush? There are plenty of people out there and I think we all need to accept that sometimes people like other people. Rejection is good; it gives us new experiences and feelings to learn from. So essentially: no protocol, in my opinion. Let what will happen, happen and just roll with it. Also, talk to the friend if a relationship does form. Make sure they know that hormones come and go, but their friendship is important and that you hope that won't ruin it.
Is it inappropriate to tell a friend you don’t think his girlfriend and him are great together?
Yes, if you think it's really true, I'll always advocate for the honesty. Just be prepared to agree to disagree, because people generally don't take to such comments well, no matter the circumstances.We like comfort and we like to overlook the bad things in favour of keeping it.
Do you think a relationship can work when one person goes away for college, and the other is still in high school?
Honestly? I think it can, but don't recommend it. That is such a massive step in a persons life and I think going into it as a sort of clean slate is the best way to go about it. Where's the fun in starting fresh and simultaneously being held down? Man, I sound awful. While I know that is harsh, the one still in high school will understand. I do not hold the illusion that you'll be with your high school sweetheart forever; I'm not much of a romantic. College is a time for new experiences and the people I've know in relationships with girls/guys still in high school don't tend to have as much fun and the relationships don't tend to last long anyway. (Turkey dump, anyone?)
Porn. Love, hate, indifferent? Watch it sometimes? If someone does watch it does it change your opinion of them?
Hate. I do not use that word often, but there you go. I think it is disgusting, never realistic and, frankly, I don't find it hot at all. I don't really talk to people about their porn usage, as a general rule, but it doesn't change my opinion on them. It just sort of baffles me that people find it appealing, but to each their own and all of that.
Is it bad to not have had your first kiss by sixteen? I feel so behind everyone else.
No, no, no. Loads of people don't have their first kiss by sixteen or even later. Let things happen naturally and don't worry about it! You're not alone, promise.
No but seriously, HOW DO YOU DO long distance relationships? I just said goodbye last night, and it was heartbreaking.
I do/have done just about every kind of long distance friendship or relationship you can and I wish I could say those goodbyes get easier, but they don't, not really. It is all about prioritising one another. Finding times that work for both of you to come online and talk and give the relationship some sort of consistency and a bit of routine. Keeping a frequent dialogue via text or email or whatever really helps because it reminds you that even if they are across the world, you can still make it happen. So yeah, I suppose that's the general advice. I'll also add that if they are worth it, you'll never question what you're doing. It is when you start wondering why you're doing it if they are not bothering to put in the effort or you're thinking more about how far away that person is, rather than how great that person is, that you need to talk to that person. Get on the same page and figure out what is or is not working and where to go. Communication and honesty, like I've said for basically every question, ha.
And finally, the inevitable...
Are you still with [insert name here]? Who are you dating?
No, but now that this post is done, I got a hot date with this guy. Jealous?
This was fun/interesting. I have another list of friendship-related questions that I'll put up either tomorrow or in a couple of days. However, I may do another relationship one at some point. If you have more questions, feel free to submit them as comments on this post or here. I hope something in here helped and that I didn't just waste these few precious hours in the middle of the night (it's 2am). Sorry, again, if I sounded like a broken record or anything. Have a great Sunday!
Days till London: 21. I leave in three weeks! Packing will be acceptable soon.
20 August 2011
Playlist of the Moment
I've been staring at this post for ages, without much to say. We're taking my brother to the airport today and he is off to teach in Greece (after stops in Rome and Istanbul - jealous doesn't quite cover it, if I'm honest!) Other than that, I don't have anything exciting to share and I'm not really in much of a bloggin' mood. So I thought write my current playlist. These are the songs I've been listening to a lot in the past week or so, check 'em out!
Day til London: 22.
- Si tu vois ma mère - Sidney Joseph Bechet.
- Time After Time - Margaret Whiting.
- Forget About - Sibylle Baier.
- Smile - Nat King Cole.
- Ripchord - Rilo Kiley. (Also, check out Nessa's AMAZING video.)
- Daydreamer - Adele.
- Sing Sung Saing - Peggy Honeywell.
- As Time Goes By - Casablanca version.
- The End - Sibylle Baier.
- Untrust Us - Crystal Castles.
- Debut - Eddplant.
- Moon River - Audrey Hepburn.
- Atlantic - The Midway State.
- As Far As I Can - Greg Holden. (Live version with Lex, yay!)
Day til London: 22.
19 August 2011
American Stonehenge
"Let's do something really, really American."
"Okay, okay…Like what?"
"Well, Montana is really American. You can't find Montana anywhere else in the world."
"This is true…But we're not going to Montana."
"…Did you know there is a Stonehenge Memorial in Washington?"
"Get in the car."
That was, more or less, the conversation that Emma and I shared before heading off on our adventure yesterday. We hopped in the car and drove for four hours, stopping once at a view point to view all of the points and eventually, after getting briefly lost, ended up in Klickitat County, Goldendale, WA. Along the way, there were a lot of rocks and even more signs informing us of them, we drove so far the temperature increased over 20 degrees and we left civilisation for a rather extended period of time. Seriously, Central Eastern Washington is pretty barren of life, from what I gathered, and those who do live there have acres and acres of farmland, whose cows we spotted. (Mostly Emma spotted them, I was much better at 'horse!')
So yes, at the end of the journey…there was Stonehenge. A brief history of this monument is that it was built by a road builder named Sam Hill, who was inspired by the original Stonehenge and the fact that it have been used as a sacrificial site. He constructed the American one as a reminder that "humanity is still being sacrificed to the god of war."
Unlike the original Stonehenge, which is aligned to the midsummer sunrise, this one was fixed to the astronomical horizon purely for the purpose of being a good vantage point for an eclipse that occurred on June 8th, 1918. Which just essentially means that it is pretty much impossible to use at an astronomical calendar, but that it was a PERFECT spot to sit for that one astronomic event. Good going, boys.
We could not have picked a more perfect day to go, to be honest. We arrived around 6pm, the sun hit the monument perfectly. Right on the other side of the monument was the Columbia River and, on the other side of the river, Oregon. With giant turbines above on the hills, spinning in the sunshine, very few cars driving along the dirt roads on the bluff…so picturesque.
However, due to the fact that before we left, we didn't really know where we were going, I didn't even think to bring my actual camera and only had my camcorder. Hence the less-than-great photos in this post. Ah well. There will be a video, at some point. After some of the most serene moments of my life, we hopped in the car, drove an hour in before stopping at a Denny's to order a heart attack - I mean fried cheese sandwich composed of bread, cheese, MOZZARELLA STICKS, cheese, bread - and made the final three hour journey back to Seattle.
Some of the hi-lights of the drives there and back were almost deciding to go to Montana instead once we saw there was another car driving there (or we assumed so because he was driving east and had a Montana license plate.) Signs every few miles claiming 'ROCKS' whenever there was a cliff-side with, you guessed it, rocks. A warning that the highway would be closed for 'rock blasting,' because this was a very rock-heavy roadtrip. Goldendale's Main Street, which consisted of...next to nothing. The Nomad Mountain Outlaws. Some chicken roadkill. Mamma Mia sing-alongs. Fruit stands every thirty seconds while going through Yakima. And all the while, chastising Liam on both Skype and Twitter for watching My Little Pony.
Just another Thursday. I'll see you guys tomorrow. x
Days till London: 23.
18 August 2011
Autumn Sweater
Jo Rowling really is a remarkable woman. I am currently watching her "Who Do You Think You Are?" special, where she tracks through her family history to learn more about her great grandfather and it's just a really beautiful story. She comes from a long line of Gryffindors, to say the least. The link I have found to watch it is here, but don't count on it being up long! Other than that, I am just drinking some tea and looking forward to seeing a good friend this afternoon. While the summer sun that has been (finally) shining in Seattle this week is fantastic, I can't help but long to bring my autumn wardrobe out. As you can imagine, I don't really have the most ideal clothing for summer time and find myself getting bored with wearing the same things over and over. However, I've never felt it necessary to build a large summer wardrobe since it's so short here. (A decision I did regret while packing for weeks in Florida and Los Angeles, but I digress.) I thought I'd just do another style inspiration compilation post. Till tomorrow! x
Days till London: 24. I'll have just spent my first night in my new room one month from now.
Days till London: 24. I'll have just spent my first night in my new room one month from now.
17 August 2011
Half Asleep / Half Awake
It is currently 2am, I have been editing since about 9pm and I decided that this would be an appropriate time to write my BEDA post for tomorrow. Today. Whatever. Want a sneak peak of what the video is about? Well, I'll just tell you regardless of your answer may have been. The footage was taken last weekend when I went to spend time with family at my grandfathers cabin on Lake Cavanaugh. I was really excited to get a lot of footage and while I did get plenty for the video, the weather was not really optimal and I didn't get specific things that I had intended on getting. Sigh, oh well. The video is turning out fairly well, I think/hope. I am having one giant issue with a cropped/recentered shot not showing up in playback, which is driving me crazy. I even exported the video to see if it was a playback issue and it was not. So I've had to call it a night until I can get a hold of MHoney to tell me what I messed up on. As per usual. By the way, the video is set to the beautiful music of this guy right here. His name is James and as you can see if you check out any of his videos, he is extraordinarily talented. I'm very fortunate to be using his music, even though I am only using about a third of the song for the video, since I didn't have enough footage for a four minute video. Travesty, I know, but I tried to make it work.
Alright, no one cares about a video they aren't going to see for…I have no idea when it will be posted. My lack of social life and general activity at all has lead to me creating a pretty decent backlog of videos. As in, I have enough videos for the next couple of weeks. And those that aren't completed have at least been filmed or planned out in great detail (I don't really script vlogs and such, but I do always have decent notes.) In addition to the borderline obsessive recording/editing, I have been baking. It's getting a bit out of hand. There have been cookies, a pie, delicious vanilla honey pound cake and I am making dinner tonight, which means mac and cheese cupcakes. You read that right. I am so excited. May also make these peanut butter and jelly bars for dessert.
Man, this post makes me feel particularly lame, for some reason. If anyone happened to click on my blog today thinking 'hm, wonder what Kayley's up to?' they'd probably agree. 'Oh, she's just…talking to a camera and making baked goods. Hm. Thrilling.' Alright. I'm starting to invent characters that dislike me, I think that means I need to stop blogging. If you want something a little more intellectually stimulating than the likes of me sitting on my couch, or something, go read the post I wrote yesterday. Actually, I wrote it a couple of weeks ago. But posted it yesterday. Unimportant details. Alright. Sleep. I think I'll come back to this in the morning.
Well, it's morning. Actually, it's noon. I went for a walk and got 88% dark chocolate and iced coffee and that has been my morning. Nothing else to report, so I'm BEDA'd out for the day. xx
Days until London: 25.
Alright, no one cares about a video they aren't going to see for…I have no idea when it will be posted. My lack of social life and general activity at all has lead to me creating a pretty decent backlog of videos. As in, I have enough videos for the next couple of weeks. And those that aren't completed have at least been filmed or planned out in great detail (I don't really script vlogs and such, but I do always have decent notes.) In addition to the borderline obsessive recording/editing, I have been baking. It's getting a bit out of hand. There have been cookies, a pie, delicious vanilla honey pound cake and I am making dinner tonight, which means mac and cheese cupcakes. You read that right. I am so excited. May also make these peanut butter and jelly bars for dessert.
Man, this post makes me feel particularly lame, for some reason. If anyone happened to click on my blog today thinking 'hm, wonder what Kayley's up to?' they'd probably agree. 'Oh, she's just…talking to a camera and making baked goods. Hm. Thrilling.' Alright. I'm starting to invent characters that dislike me, I think that means I need to stop blogging. If you want something a little more intellectually stimulating than the likes of me sitting on my couch, or something, go read the post I wrote yesterday. Actually, I wrote it a couple of weeks ago. But posted it yesterday. Unimportant details. Alright. Sleep. I think I'll come back to this in the morning.
Well, it's morning. Actually, it's noon. I went for a walk and got 88% dark chocolate and iced coffee and that has been my morning. Nothing else to report, so I'm BEDA'd out for the day. xx
Days until London: 25.
16 August 2011
Home
When you spend frequent, fairly extended amounts of time away from the place you consider home, you came to find a definite sense of serenity in the warmth of your own bed or the reliability of butter to make cookies with in the fridge. It becomes a place you come back to after dealing with a crazy vacation or a long day. Living in the same house my whole life, sans a few months when I was 9 while it was being remodeled and technically living in a residence hall this past year at school, my home has never wavered. I have never not known where I would always belong and be loved. And while the latter will always be true, I hope, the former seems to have changed.
Maybe it was the fact that I was meant to be moving out of this house for good a year ago and have had to come back for the summer, maybe it is because this house was merely a refuge to me at the end of all of those miserable weeks at school between my adventures or maybe I just spent too much time in June sitting around, but this no long feels like home. It was something I noticed after LeakyCon, even though I was definitely aware of it before I left. However, it didn't hit me until a friend from high school came round between LeakyCon and VidCon. He said to me "I'll see you when you come home" and I had this moment of "I don't think this is home anymore. But I don't know what is." I think of it as a bit of an anti-Harry moment. I was right with him on that train leaving Hogwarts, except I wasn't leaving my real home, but realizing I did not really have one anymore.
There is all sorts of home-related bullshit out there. "Home is where the heart is" and all of that. But when you have as many different people around the world who you care deeply about, you know that is not really the case. If home is where the heart is, my heart is split far more than Voldemort's soul. I have always seen home as where my parents and dogs are. Where most of the crap I've had since I was an infant and don't want but have to keep for the children my mother thinks I will have but that I know I won't is hidden away in the attic. To be honest, it has been a while since I have held any sort of fantasy of staying in one place for an extended period of time again. There is a HUGE FREAKING WORLD out there and I want to live in all of it's little cracks and corners at some point (though, hopefully not actually in a corner somewhere. I would like a bed of some sort at each location.) But this house in a suburb outside of Seattle was always going to be my technical home.
Don't get me wrong, I think it could very well be a product of an over-enthusiastic traveler who has gotten lucky this year by flying all over the country at least once a month, but I think it is more than that. I've written before how we convince ourselves that places can change us. We think that by going to a certain location and having those experiences there that we will come out a different person. I worried that they wouldn't, but I feel as though I've proved myself wrong. Maybe so much happens to you when you leave your home that coming back means that you're bring with you this new sense of self that your home could never understand. Perhaps every time we walk out of our doors is just one step away from our childhood home. One step towards something else, whether we know where that is or not. I certainly don't. What I do know is that now I have a Visa in hand and the next flight I board will hopefully take me to a place where I can hopefully find that sense of home once more. Till tomorrow.
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
Days till London: 26.
Maybe it was the fact that I was meant to be moving out of this house for good a year ago and have had to come back for the summer, maybe it is because this house was merely a refuge to me at the end of all of those miserable weeks at school between my adventures or maybe I just spent too much time in June sitting around, but this no long feels like home. It was something I noticed after LeakyCon, even though I was definitely aware of it before I left. However, it didn't hit me until a friend from high school came round between LeakyCon and VidCon. He said to me "I'll see you when you come home" and I had this moment of "I don't think this is home anymore. But I don't know what is." I think of it as a bit of an anti-Harry moment. I was right with him on that train leaving Hogwarts, except I wasn't leaving my real home, but realizing I did not really have one anymore.
There is all sorts of home-related bullshit out there. "Home is where the heart is" and all of that. But when you have as many different people around the world who you care deeply about, you know that is not really the case. If home is where the heart is, my heart is split far more than Voldemort's soul. I have always seen home as where my parents and dogs are. Where most of the crap I've had since I was an infant and don't want but have to keep for the children my mother thinks I will have but that I know I won't is hidden away in the attic. To be honest, it has been a while since I have held any sort of fantasy of staying in one place for an extended period of time again. There is a HUGE FREAKING WORLD out there and I want to live in all of it's little cracks and corners at some point (though, hopefully not actually in a corner somewhere. I would like a bed of some sort at each location.) But this house in a suburb outside of Seattle was always going to be my technical home.
Don't get me wrong, I think it could very well be a product of an over-enthusiastic traveler who has gotten lucky this year by flying all over the country at least once a month, but I think it is more than that. I've written before how we convince ourselves that places can change us. We think that by going to a certain location and having those experiences there that we will come out a different person. I worried that they wouldn't, but I feel as though I've proved myself wrong. Maybe so much happens to you when you leave your home that coming back means that you're bring with you this new sense of self that your home could never understand. Perhaps every time we walk out of our doors is just one step away from our childhood home. One step towards something else, whether we know where that is or not. I certainly don't. What I do know is that now I have a Visa in hand and the next flight I board will hopefully take me to a place where I can hopefully find that sense of home once more. Till tomorrow.
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
Days till London: 26.
15 August 2011
My Place
I posted this video today and so I figured I'd just attach a really short blog post to go with it, since I'm not up to much today except dealing with personal issues. This video started as a test video. I have about five test videos in FCP just waiting to become something. Somewhere along the line, this video went from some footage and effects to something more, so I decided to write a little bit about what Disneyland has always meant to me and turn it into a video. Yes, it's short, but it didn't really need more.
Disneyland was a getaway when I was younger. We would go as a family once or twice a year for about five days and never got bored. Sure, we fought, but at the end of the day, we were happy to be there together. As I grew up, my family and I stopped going places together and I went alone. It never feels the same, though. I love visiting with my friends, but it really is an entirely different experience. I no longer feel that I want to be there for five days. I can go one day and year and it will keep me happy all year round. It was my first second home, if that makes sense. The first place, other than my house, that comforted me and reminded me how lucky I am to be alive. I owe Disney and Disneyland a lot, I do. And while I feel I have grown out of my intense Disney phase, I will never think less of this beautiful place. I hope my short video represents that.
Let me know if you guys have a place of this sort. It's really interesting to see what places mean a lot to others. See you tomorrow. x
Days till London: 27.
14 August 2011
Game of Thrones Opinion
Today, I wanted to talk about Game of Thrones. I've been trying to watch this show for about a month now, but I have been watching it incredibly slowly. The reason being that I just did not like the first couple of episodes and having just finished the sixth, well, nothing has changed. This seems to have taken a lot of people by surprise, so I guess I just wanted to explain why it hasn't appealed to me.
Days till London: 28.
- The characters. I don't really care about…any of them…And when I said this to a friend, she said it was one of the most character driven shows ever. Having watched a hell of a lot of television, I cannot say I agree at all, but I think I know why I don't. GoT has a lot of characters with a lot of backstory and I cannot care about that many people in a show. There is a reason most shows have principle casts of six or seven people and that is because most television watchers like to relate and form emotional connections with a small number of characters, not the entire bloody show. I can't remember most of the characters names, let alone form any sort of attachment to them. In addition, they all sort of suffer from what I see as the River Song complex, which is to say I am meant to care. The writers want me to give a shit about every little backstory and I feel like I'm being forced into it for some reason and I just don't.
- The shock value. It's HBO, so let's be honest, I saw this coming. I do not have a problem with sex or blood or gore, but this is just ridiculous. Every fourth shot is blood GUSHING from a body or blowjobs or rough sex or boobs and I don't feel like it adds to the story. There is a way to show gore and make it feel real. There is a way to have sex be sexy and not just there to show that THE MEN LIKE IT ROUGH AHHH MEN ARE TOUGH. You can write it off as historically accurate or whatever, but that doesn't make the format and way of going about the sex and the violence classy. HBO is a big fan of just over the top for the sake of shock and that's all I really feel when I watch these scenes. Blood does not squirt like that. God.
- And finally, I suppose the hype may have played into it. I was super excited by everyone talking about it and Sean Bean, who I adore, being involved. This definitely is not the only reason, though, so don't write off my dislike of the show as too much hype.
Days till London: 28.
13 August 2011
Hyde Family Gathering Tales
Well, well, well, I believe this is my latest VEDA this month! And it's not even because I was lazy, guys. I was doing real things with real people. I know, you're all impressed. So today I went up to my grandfather's cabin on Lake Cavanaugh today with some of my family. I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but my older brother, Andrew, is going to Greece this summer to teach an introductory level Greek class from his university and he leaves next Saturday. He'll be getting back to Seattle about a week after I leave, so essentially this is the second to last day that I will see him until Christmas. (I'll be taking him to the airport with my parents on Saturday). So in honor of the fact that he is leaving soon and two of my cousins are headed off to universities in Oregon and I am going to London, we wanted to have a last hurrah of sorts at the cabin.
The cabin is somewhere that I spent a lot of my childhood, but children have a tendency to block out the less than ideal bits of memories and all I can remember is climbing the giant hallow tree stump thing, inner-tubing and doing flips on the dock. However, as a young adult or whatever I am now, I have slightly more dismal memories of overcast days and waiting for a break of sun so that I can go seadooing real quick before the rain comes down. Today was no different, I'll be honest. It was lovely for about an hour, but before long, we were ushered indoors by a chilly wind because, you know, it's only AUGUST. Ugh, freaking Washington, get it together. Other than that, though, it was great to hang out with my family and all of that good stuff.
I do have two brief stories to tell. Firstly, we always stop at this old school burger place on the way home from the cabin for ice cream and despite the cold, we never fail to hold that tradition. So we went in and crammed my parents, brother, grandma, one of my cousins, my aunt and myself into a single booth. Something to note about my family is that, well, we're hardly PG-13 when it comes to our discussions and language. (What, Kayley isn't 14 and SWEARS? I know, you're shocked.) My brother, in particular, is really loud and pretty foul mouthed and he happened to find a magazine containing the article "How to tell your children about sex." He began to read his favorite excerpts out loud, much to the dismay and objection of the table, and there was a certain bit about a parenting class that took it to a whole new level. I believe it went something along the lines of "some parents at these meetings cannot believe I would utter the word 'masturbation,' while others go so far as to ask 'can you teach my child to masturbate?'" While it was not surprising that my whole family burst into laughter, what was really great was that the man sitting across the fairly empty restaurant LOST it and was laughing harder than we all were. It was just incredibly perplexing and my dad and grandmother decided they had been humiliated enough (all in good fun, not really upset) and darted out before he could continue reading. We dispersed shortly after, all still chortling.
Another interesting anecdote was when we were getting back on the highway and I halted STOP to my mom, ripped out my camera to film THE MIRKWOOD AND SHIRE CAFE. After a bit of googling, I realized that this little building was entirely named after Middle Earth locations, like Mordor Tattoos and Rivendell Hair. I cannot believe such a place existed and I never knew. The Shire Cafe, which is vegetarian!, even calls it's menu the Misty Mountain Menu! Insane! I must go back before I head off to London because that is just too awesome. I really hope I don't go in and find it's a huge letdown. Judging by the website alone, that is a distinct possibility, but who knows? I am willing to give it a shot.
And with that, I am off. I hear my brother talking about Easy A and how he hasn't seen it, so I think I may convince him to watch it. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. x
Days till London: 26.
The cabin is somewhere that I spent a lot of my childhood, but children have a tendency to block out the less than ideal bits of memories and all I can remember is climbing the giant hallow tree stump thing, inner-tubing and doing flips on the dock. However, as a young adult or whatever I am now, I have slightly more dismal memories of overcast days and waiting for a break of sun so that I can go seadooing real quick before the rain comes down. Today was no different, I'll be honest. It was lovely for about an hour, but before long, we were ushered indoors by a chilly wind because, you know, it's only AUGUST. Ugh, freaking Washington, get it together. Other than that, though, it was great to hang out with my family and all of that good stuff.
I do have two brief stories to tell. Firstly, we always stop at this old school burger place on the way home from the cabin for ice cream and despite the cold, we never fail to hold that tradition. So we went in and crammed my parents, brother, grandma, one of my cousins, my aunt and myself into a single booth. Something to note about my family is that, well, we're hardly PG-13 when it comes to our discussions and language. (What, Kayley isn't 14 and SWEARS? I know, you're shocked.) My brother, in particular, is really loud and pretty foul mouthed and he happened to find a magazine containing the article "How to tell your children about sex." He began to read his favorite excerpts out loud, much to the dismay and objection of the table, and there was a certain bit about a parenting class that took it to a whole new level. I believe it went something along the lines of "some parents at these meetings cannot believe I would utter the word 'masturbation,' while others go so far as to ask 'can you teach my child to masturbate?'" While it was not surprising that my whole family burst into laughter, what was really great was that the man sitting across the fairly empty restaurant LOST it and was laughing harder than we all were. It was just incredibly perplexing and my dad and grandmother decided they had been humiliated enough (all in good fun, not really upset) and darted out before he could continue reading. We dispersed shortly after, all still chortling.
Another interesting anecdote was when we were getting back on the highway and I halted STOP to my mom, ripped out my camera to film THE MIRKWOOD AND SHIRE CAFE. After a bit of googling, I realized that this little building was entirely named after Middle Earth locations, like Mordor Tattoos and Rivendell Hair. I cannot believe such a place existed and I never knew. The Shire Cafe, which is vegetarian!, even calls it's menu the Misty Mountain Menu! Insane! I must go back before I head off to London because that is just too awesome. I really hope I don't go in and find it's a huge letdown. Judging by the website alone, that is a distinct possibility, but who knows? I am willing to give it a shot.
And with that, I am off. I hear my brother talking about Easy A and how he hasn't seen it, so I think I may convince him to watch it. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. x
Days till London: 26.
12 August 2011
The Help (review)
I generally don't like reviewing things just after I have seen them because emotions lead to bias which leads to a review I may not necessarily agree with the following day. However, I just got back from The Help and my feelings towards it are not really likely to change, so I figured I'd just go for it while it is still fresh.
I'll admit that I did not read the book when I walked into this film. There are certain films in which I feel alright doing this because I know that neither will really impact my viewing experience. I'm really good at separating books from films and not letting one or the other change the way I feel. Even after seeing the film, I'm not entirely sure if I want to read the book, despite hearing that it is incredible. I do not really know why this is, but I felt like this was just a short snippet I should throw into this review for those of you who may ask. I may read it yet, but I have a tall stack of books to make it through before considering it. Sorry if I have alienated book before film purists, but I feel art can be experienced in any order and still be enjoyable. Do what you want with your lives and all of that. Now, onto the review.
I went into The Help the day after its release knowing absolutely nothing about what others had been saying and with only the trailers explanation on what it was about. (If you, too, know nothing about it, go read the non-spoiler 'plot' on the wikipedia page here since I have a tendency to not really give summaries in my reviews.) I am not ashamed to admit that I will pretty much see any film that Emma Stone decides to take part in and I have not been shaken on that stance yet. I'll let you know once I've seen Crazy, Stupid, Love, I suppose. There is something really incredible about walking into a small town cinema full of middle aged book club lovers, all jabbering excitedly about what they hope from the film - it really gave me perspective on what my friends and I must have looked like on that fateful Deathly Hallows release date last month. With the energy high, I sat back to enjoy what I did not realize would be a nearly two and a half hour film. The best part? I didn't feel for a second that the film was dragging or wonder how much longer it was or anything. I mean, sure, I have a pretty fantastic attention span in cinemas most of the time, but that is pretty damn long for a non-epic film. And it was good.
Some films are appalling. Not because they poorly made, not acted well or terribly written, but because they make us face the reality of who and what we are or once were. In this way, and no other, The Help was just that: appalling. It dealt with sensitive issues with ease and difficulty all at the same time and had you picking sides more excitedly than I ever do when I watch sports movies. This film was carried beautifully by Emma Stone as Skeeter, who *can* do drama brilliantly, and Viola Davis as Aibileen, whose powerful voice also served as narration. Tearing apart 1960s white supremacy in film has never been so badass with them at the forefront. Other particularly impressive roles were that ofJessica Chastain, who played Celia Foote and was just so hilarious and tragic, as well as, believe it or not, the little girl who played Mae Mobley (or, as I just found out, twin girls Eleanor and Emma Henry). They were just heartbreaking.
While there were a few major leads, the writing had you caring for or wishing a rude awakening on even the smallest characters. The only major issue I had with the writing is that sometimes, so much can be said without saying anything and I will never write a review without praising silence. (Although, slight spoilers, there was an absolutely brilliant moment of silence as Aibileen left towards the end). Other than that, each character was full to the brim with personality and life, which i one of the major reasons I felt like I was in the middle of this world for two and a half hours, not sitting in a poorly-cushioned old fashioned theatre chair.
As for actual cinematography, I have to admit I did not notice anything particularly impressive. The score is also not too memorable just a couple hours later. But with the story as rich as it was, these things did not detract from the experience. Though I can see how the filmmakers sort of tried and failed to make the city itself, Jackson, Mississippi, a character in its own right. While the setting was integral, I would not say it was much more memorable outside of the fried chicken one of the characters prepared with such love.
In two sentences for my Flixster account, I wrote the following: Bursting with life, empowerment and honesty, I found The Help to be extraordinarily appalling, in the best way possible, and beautiful. Carried so brilliantly by Emma Stone and Viola Davis, this is a film to remember. Maybe not a must see for everyone, this is definitely for those rich story, character lovers, it is something I'll remember for a while. Let me know what you think if you have seen it!
Days till London: 30.
I'll admit that I did not read the book when I walked into this film. There are certain films in which I feel alright doing this because I know that neither will really impact my viewing experience. I'm really good at separating books from films and not letting one or the other change the way I feel. Even after seeing the film, I'm not entirely sure if I want to read the book, despite hearing that it is incredible. I do not really know why this is, but I felt like this was just a short snippet I should throw into this review for those of you who may ask. I may read it yet, but I have a tall stack of books to make it through before considering it. Sorry if I have alienated book before film purists, but I feel art can be experienced in any order and still be enjoyable. Do what you want with your lives and all of that. Now, onto the review.
I went into The Help the day after its release knowing absolutely nothing about what others had been saying and with only the trailers explanation on what it was about. (If you, too, know nothing about it, go read the non-spoiler 'plot' on the wikipedia page here since I have a tendency to not really give summaries in my reviews.) I am not ashamed to admit that I will pretty much see any film that Emma Stone decides to take part in and I have not been shaken on that stance yet. I'll let you know once I've seen Crazy, Stupid, Love, I suppose. There is something really incredible about walking into a small town cinema full of middle aged book club lovers, all jabbering excitedly about what they hope from the film - it really gave me perspective on what my friends and I must have looked like on that fateful Deathly Hallows release date last month. With the energy high, I sat back to enjoy what I did not realize would be a nearly two and a half hour film. The best part? I didn't feel for a second that the film was dragging or wonder how much longer it was or anything. I mean, sure, I have a pretty fantastic attention span in cinemas most of the time, but that is pretty damn long for a non-epic film. And it was good.
Some films are appalling. Not because they poorly made, not acted well or terribly written, but because they make us face the reality of who and what we are or once were. In this way, and no other, The Help was just that: appalling. It dealt with sensitive issues with ease and difficulty all at the same time and had you picking sides more excitedly than I ever do when I watch sports movies. This film was carried beautifully by Emma Stone as Skeeter, who *can* do drama brilliantly, and Viola Davis as Aibileen, whose powerful voice also served as narration. Tearing apart 1960s white supremacy in film has never been so badass with them at the forefront. Other particularly impressive roles were that ofJessica Chastain, who played Celia Foote and was just so hilarious and tragic, as well as, believe it or not, the little girl who played Mae Mobley (or, as I just found out, twin girls Eleanor and Emma Henry). They were just heartbreaking.
While there were a few major leads, the writing had you caring for or wishing a rude awakening on even the smallest characters. The only major issue I had with the writing is that sometimes, so much can be said without saying anything and I will never write a review without praising silence. (Although, slight spoilers, there was an absolutely brilliant moment of silence as Aibileen left towards the end). Other than that, each character was full to the brim with personality and life, which i one of the major reasons I felt like I was in the middle of this world for two and a half hours, not sitting in a poorly-cushioned old fashioned theatre chair.
As for actual cinematography, I have to admit I did not notice anything particularly impressive. The score is also not too memorable just a couple hours later. But with the story as rich as it was, these things did not detract from the experience. Though I can see how the filmmakers sort of tried and failed to make the city itself, Jackson, Mississippi, a character in its own right. While the setting was integral, I would not say it was much more memorable outside of the fried chicken one of the characters prepared with such love.
In two sentences for my Flixster account, I wrote the following: Bursting with life, empowerment and honesty, I found The Help to be extraordinarily appalling, in the best way possible, and beautiful. Carried so brilliantly by Emma Stone and Viola Davis, this is a film to remember. Maybe not a must see for everyone, this is definitely for those rich story, character lovers, it is something I'll remember for a while. Let me know what you think if you have seen it!
Days till London: 30.
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