Wrote this a few weeks back, thought I ought to post it.
I have been intending to make a video about this for ages, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it when I knew I'd get so much negativity for it. So I'll blog it, I suppose. Let's talk about the word 'lucky.' Lucky is defined as having or being marked by good luck. Luck is defined as "the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events or opportunities." A force. Something that cannot be controlled. Something that doesn't even scientifically exist.
I have been intending to make a video about this for ages, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it when I knew I'd get so much negativity for it. So I'll blog it, I suppose. Let's talk about the word 'lucky.' Lucky is defined as having or being marked by good luck. Luck is defined as "the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events or opportunities." A force. Something that cannot be controlled. Something that doesn't even scientifically exist.
So why, for the love of everything good, are people constantly using this word? Anytime I share any experience I am having online, I feel like the only responses I get are jealousy* or people saying how 'lucky' I am. No. I am not a lucky human being. Fortunate, yes. Grateful, yes. But almost nothing in my life was just given to me in some stroke of luck. I do not live in London because I am lucky. I do not travel because I am lucky. I do not have the friends I have** because I'm lucky. I live in London because I worked my ass off to make it work, I travel because I save every penny to do so and I have my friends because, believe it or not, they like me. It's just not fair to write off my achievements as 'luck.' A couple of weekends ago, I went to the Doctor Who Convention in Cardiff, Wales and almost all of the tweets or whatever I got about it were telling me how lucky I was to be there. No, I traveled hundreds of miles and paid £100 or something to be there. That is not luck. I am not lucky. I don't even know if I really believe in luck (I prefer coincidence) and if I did, I would never associate it with specific achievements or experiences people have.
Do what you want. Work for it, if you have to. Save your money. See new things. Have new experiences. But absolutely never tell yourself that you are where you are because you're lucky. A series of events, decisions and possibly coincidences led you to where you are, not luck. I don't believe in giving anything or anyone (ooh see what I did there? maybe not) full credit for what I've done and I bid you to do the same. Also, stop telling me I'm lucky.
I am not lucky. But thanks anyway.
Train journeys this year: 19.
Books read this year: 18.
Videos posted this year: 36th is currently uploading.
* I understand jealousy, I do. But it's really not fun to share things with the internet when people are just constantly making it about them by telling me how unfair it is or how jealous they are. I don't know. That's something that's always really bothered me. It's just a really overused word.
** Just for the record, anytime someone says how lucky I am to have my friends, I take it as an insult. Because it is. It implies that I am not good enough for them and that they are all greater than me and that by some stroke of luck they have decided to honor me with their friendship. Shocker here: I am their friend because they like me. Not because I caught them on a good day to seal the friendship deal. Ugh.
EDIT: I just read a New York Times article on Peter Dinklage and needed to include this excerpt to add to this post:
“I feel really lucky,” he said, then added, “although I hate that word — ‘lucky.’ ” When I asked him why, he mulled it over for a moment, looking away. Then he focused back on me. “It cheapens a lot of hard work,” he said. “Living in Brooklyn in an apartment without any heat and paying for dinner at the bodega with dimes — I don’t think I felt myself lucky back then. Doing plays for 50 bucks and trying to be true to myself as an” — here he put on a faux snooty voice — “artist and turning down commercials where they wanted a leprechaun. Saying I was lucky negates the hard work I put in and spits on that guy who’s freezing his ass off back in Brooklyn. So I won’t say I’m lucky. I’m fortunate enough to find or attract very talented people. For some reason I found them, and they found me.”EDIT: Got this comment and because blogspot STILL doesn't seem to allow me to reply, I'm update the blog to do so because this person seems to have missed the entire point of this blog.
I think you're taking the word a bit too literally. And also, part of it is luck, some people aren't fortunate enough or don't have the time or money to be able to go to a Doctor Who convention in Wales, for example.Firstly, no. I am not taking the word to literally, I am being the only one of the two of us who is using the word correctly. Using a word properly can not be "too literal." In fact it is perfectly literal. It is the definition of the word. Secondly, no again. I was not lucky to have the time or the money. I saw there there was going to be a convention months ago so I made of point of saving and putting aside the money and saving the weekend for it. Anyone could do that and I'm not lucky for it. This is exactly why I wrote this blog, because of what you're implying. No, for some it was too far to travel and too expensive and not possible. That's not unlucky, that's just...facts. That is how life is. Sometimes we cannot afford things. Some people who maybe couldn't afford to go to the convention live in New Zealand, which is somewhere I'd give anything to go to. Are they lucky? No. They just live there. They've either been born there or have made their way there by choice. Am I unlucky? No, I just cannot afford to go to New Zealand, which is upsetting, but I'll get there one day. Luck does not play into ANY of these scenarios. Also, for future reference, calling something "too literal" is almost as infuriating as people who tell anyone with an opinion to "calm down." Almost. So just...avoid doing that unless someone is ACTUALLY being too literal, which is actually really rare in comparison to how often it's said.
45 comments:
I find this whole post extremely true. I especially like what you had to say about "being lucky to have your friends". I feel like friendship is a mutual appreciation for one another and if people treat it as luck then it degrades one or more persons in the friendship. Like "oh I'm lucky to be there friend" is say that you are somehow unworthy of their presence or something. Which kind of goes back to your video about how people are just people, this idea that luck or chance had something to with a rrelationship makes one person seem superior to the other, which doesn't seem like much of a friendship/ relationship to me. Luck just kind of seems like a degrading cop out especially in regards to a friendship .
I've never really thought about this before, but it's really struck me now. I agree with all of what you say, and I'll be sure to not throw that word around from now on.
I have never really thought about this... In Swedish the word for luck is "tur" and I don't see it used as much as luck. It's more used for example winning the lottery but I've never heard anyone referring to having the friends you have as "tur". (some Swedish person will propaply come and say how wrong I am now but yeah.... This is just my experience with luck/tur)
I would, too, take it as an insult if I were told I'm lucky that I have my friends. Of course it's lucky that I have friends but it's not luck that made them my friends :)
I agree with you about this, but to an extent. I also dislike it when people call my achievements "luck" because I also feel they diminish them, and I do feel that a lot of what I have achieved is due to my work, effort and dedication... but I can't deny that there is always a mix of luck and fortune that helped me out. Like you said, we have no control over luck, just like we have no control over many things that we do. No matter how hard you work towards something, there will always be aspects that you cannot control, and when those go your way, it is sometimes because of luck. Of course, a lot of the times we can trace the reasons why they went a certain way and then we call them something else, but we can't really rule out luck entirely. But that's the thing about life in general, isn't it? Nothing is really absolute...
Thanks for this post Kayley, I've simply never really thought about what saying 'lucky' actually means in certain contexts.
I don't see why people bother to comment with 'I'm so jealous.' Sometimes I may be jealous but I don't see anything gained by informing people. I simply resolve to experience/buy whatever I was jealous about, even if it takes time. Ok, so I'm not going to NYC like a friend, but one day I will. I'll be grateful for my camping trip in Cornwall which I know will be lots of fun, and just as good in it's own way.
As for the friends comment. You made such a great point about that. I would be offended too if people said that to me. I never realised people actually said that to you!
I think you're taking the word a bit too literally. And also, part of it is luck, some people aren't fortunate enough or don't have the time or money to be able to go to a Doctor Who convention in Wales, for example.
I agree, and yes, I think it's pointless to tell someone you're jealous for something you get to do I mean, I've done this, but I've realized I probably shouldn't be. Being told that just makes you feel uncomfortable.
I often say that I am lucky, because I feel that certain things in my life aren't there because I did something. I am lucky because I have parents who support me. That I life in a country where you don't starve and can go to Uni. Luck is that I was able to study without too much thought about how to get enough money to study (even though student loans aren't a big thing in my country).
But I wish friends "success" when they are heading for an exam, because it is hard work to get good grades and not "luck".
So I understand what you mean. Luck means, your achivements aren't yours but JUST luck. If you work hard to achive something, then it is YOUR doing. Luck is winning the lottery (but even there, you have to buy a ticket). Luck is running into a friend when you really need him. But having that friend is not luck. That is your achievement.
Freya
I totally agree with the word 'luck' discrediting your hard work. Every example you gave* was very justified. However, there are a few things for which I always consider myself fortunate: e.g. the circumstances into which I was born, certain aspects of my health. I do agree that 'lucky' is a cheap sounding word though.
*Having friends should not be attributed to luck, but it could be argued that meeting friends can often be due to serendipity. That might be a different argument though.
I agree totally and completely with everything you said here.
The way I see it is that there are two common uses of luck: Firstly, luck as in the literal, superstitious force as described in your post. Like an invisible guiding hand, or whatever.
But then there's luck as in mere coincidence, and I think many people use the two terms (coincidence and luck) completely interchangeably. For example, "how lucky you were to be born into such a prestigious family!" is not to say "a mystical force guided you into a prestigious family", but rather, "what a happy coincidence that that happened!"
The question applies to questions about 'fate' also. Fate can mean some supernatural entity choosing your path, or it can mean just how some things happened to be, arbitrarily.
Calling achievements that one worked hard for 'luck' or 'fate' naturally would be annoying, but, as you say, everything is an interconnected series of events, and if one takes the latter definition of the words (i.e. coincidence), then any given event could be described as, in part, lucky or fortuitous.
But, I would personally argue, if any given event can be called lucky or fortuitous, one shouldn't bring it up in conversation as a serious point, because the point would be empty, moot, unnecessarily stated (albeit true).
At the very core of it, anybody born into any position of comfort is lucky and those into discomfort or poverty unlucky, by mere coincidence, but this is not a useful point to bring up in conversation (unless stressing a different point, for example: that we should aim to be empathetic and understanding to all because luck, bad luck, fortune, misfortune, and coincidence all abound in all our lives).
I really hate the idea of luck especially since even people who are normally very rational seem to believe that you can 'curse' you chances of doing something by saying you might do it or that charms could in someway help you (other than perhaps as psychological aids/placebos). But that's not really what you're talking about.
I get what you're saying though, that attributing something to luck devalues any effort someone put in to get that thing. I'd really hate it if people said that to me all the time.
Although I do think a large part of the problem is people using luck interchangeably with fortune - not taking into account the literal, dictionary defined, meaning - and not realising what're they actually saying. Which is a bad thing but quite as bad as actually thinking you didn't work for the good things you have.
I think it's mainly just meant to be a harmless comment and although people should really think about what're saying, everyone's guilty of not taking literal meaning into account. But at the same time I can understand why it's pissed you off because it would definetly do the same to me.
It sucks that things like this make you feel bad. A lot of people really appreciate the awesome stuff you make, but a bunch of unthoughtful viewers ruin that by not understanding that you're just another person who's affected by what they post.
Hope, it doesn't get you down too much.
I really like this post, I definitely agree about it being more about hard work than luck. I also think people use 'bad luck' as an excuse rather than facing the fact that maybe they didn't work hard enough.
Also, I *think* you need to do embedded comments in order to do threaded replies, instead of a pop-up window :)
I both agree and disagree. I want to comment, not to spite you, but to put opinions out and thoughts around because that's what blogs are for (I hope/think).
I agree, wholeheartedly, that it is unfair if someone blankets your achievements with 'luck'. I, like you, work extremely hard at school, and when I get a good test mark back, it bothers me when people shrug it off and say 'she's just lucky'. Cause I'm not. I worked for that high mark.
What I have a problem with is the complete dismissal of 'luck' and the annoyance you have with people telling you that you are 'lucky'.
Firstly, I think it was pretty lucky that you were close to a doctor Who event, and then yes, you on your own merit were able to make the time and money to go. It is pretty lucky that you ran into the people that you did, that you then deserved as friends because they genuinely like you. It's a half.half scenario, in my opinion.
Secondly, I do not believe that when people tell you that you are 'lucky' they are implying bad feeling, or are trying to take away any of your hard work. They are simply trying to express, with the words that are common to our language, that they are happy that you are able to enjoy yourself, and that they wish to also enjoy themselves in a similar fashion.
I hope that you don't take this as insult, because I don't intend it as one. I simply want to share my ideas that your blog made me think about!
*read your response to Bryarly as well*
Basically, you have a problem with the word luck. You don't think where you live or what you do or who are friends with is luck. But most people think that way. So, don't be offended, they usually don't think you have put any effort behind the things you do. For most people it is luck to be born where you are born and to have the parents you have.
I think this was well thought out and very well written. You clearly could have a future as a writer if you so desire. However, I hope that you do realize that you are in fact lucky that you were born white and in America and (I am assuming here because you go to a university and previously discussed that your family could afford to spend a lot of money on books) in a high socio-economic bracket. There are a lot of societal benefits you get because of those things that you probably appreciate but just didn't put in this particular blog post. For example, if you were not born in America and were instead born in China, of an affluent family and (obviously) Chinese you would have had to jump through many more hoops to get to study in England abroad. And you probably wouldn't be studying media.
The white thing stands for itself. Everything interesting that there is to say about race has been said before me and by people who are much more skilled than I.
I know you probably chose not to address these things for a reason, but I felt it was something that needed to be clarified.
Most of the time, when people say you're lucky to have something, they're really not trying to discredit you. They mean that you're extremely fortunate that you've gotten to do the things you've done and that they hope to have a similar experience one day soon. Not saying that you don't work hard to get things. I do agree with you to a certain extent though. I didn't really realize until now that telling someone they're lucky hurts their feelings. I'll try to be more careful in the way I use the word.
I really do hate it when people attribute hard work or honed talents/practiced skills to luck. I kinda also hate the SOUND of the word lucky now.
I always really enjoy your blog posts. I definitely agree with your feelings on this, as well as Bryarly's response too.
I think people are confusing "luck" with circumstance on some level too. You were able to attend the Doctor Who convention on the basis of your hard work, but by circumstance you were in the vicinity to attend. It's not luck. It's just you're life.
I'm not sure why others don't just enjoy the awesome things you do and choose to share with us, but rather spend their time being jealous of it. Seems like a waste to me.
I love your opinion blogs almost as much as I love Lex's; I feel like you guys put into words what many people don't stop to consider for more than a moment, but the issue goes a lot deeper than that moment.
I know you said you can't afford it, and I totally respect that, but do think about visiting NZ for one of the Hobbit premeries this year or next! November/December/January/February happens to be the best time to visit the country as well.
You can totes bunk at my lodgings, wherever they may be, but I'm usually either in Auckland or Wellington. I can recommend good, cheap food and the best, cheapest student backpacking companies. Shout out if you're interested :) But I understand if it's too much. I know I couldn't afford to visit England unless I decided to turn it into a study exchange.
in my opinion, people aren't really aware of what the word literally means, and they sort of use it interchangeably with "fortunate". when really, "lucky" and "fortunate" have a similar intention but very different meanings.
also, i think that to some people, luck means that a situation that was up to chance worked out in your favor. it was "lucky" that you guessed the right number for the lottery, etc etc. however, your point is still valid, and to say that you got to see the convention because you're just "lucky" is a big understatement.
Personally I think a lot of people use "lucky" when they mean "fortunate" because fortunate has some connotations. For me to say "wow, it is really fortunate that you got to go to that convention", it would imply that you should be grateful or owe the experience to someone else. Whereas saying "your really lucky for that experience" is generally less loaded (obviously not to you, but probably to the general population).
On the topic of being fortunate in going to convention in the first place...well you are. I'm sure you work hard and save for these experiences, but they would be impossible even for some people who work full time jobs. Circumstances have given you opportunities that others do not have and commenter who mention your "luck" are trying to point that out in a fairly benign way.
Thank you for sharing. Also, awesome to see so many great, respectful comments :) It's good to see the internet doing what it was made for. I agree that people expressing jealousy or saying that I am 'lucky' feels as though they have taken my agency out of the equation. An analogy, maybe, to express my thoughts: it would feel the same if I go to a friend's house and make a wonderful meal using their ingredients and people compliment my friend for having good ingredients around, rather than me for putting them together. (Sorry it's a crappy analogy, but I'm in the middle of exams and can't think analytically anymore haha).
I definitely have used the word 'lucky' in the way you are describing. However, after I've been able to experience more, and see the type of work ethic and self-motivation and preparation that goes into achieving something I'm proud of, I can empathize with how you're feeling.
Maybe (and this is me just positing an idea, not that I truly believe this) it boils down to your personality. Some people refer to Julian Rotter's theory of an internal or external 'locus of control' - whether you attribute events in your life as the effect of something that you did, or as something that has been done to you. People who have an external locus tend to praise or blame things besides themselves that have led to a circumstance. Maybe these people feel as though all things, good and bad, can be attributed to things like 'luck', rather than their own actions. Just an interesting thought, but I'm not a psychologist so please correct me if I understood the theory wrong.
But there is something to be said for pure coincidence that people attribute to 'luck' having a great deal to say in how things unfold. If that hadn't happened at exactly the right time, or if I had chosen that instead of this, or if I hadn't heard that offhand comment that inspired me to react that way, things would most definitely have been different today, and in a way, 'luck' may have played, at least a little, part in some experiences... that the exact right combination of events, throughout your entire life, made you the person you are today, with the experiences and abilities you have, and now you work your ass off to do the best with them.
Sorry for the long response. I appreciate that you share your thoughts and open yourself up in this way to the rest of the world. I realize that you're a very private person and that you're wary of exposing yourself too much, but I am grateful that you are starting such wonderful conversation. If you go, then all we'll be left with are the trolls!
Preach!
No but seriously, I agree with you (and Dinklage) because it does cheapen hard work. Internet high five!
A very interesting post Kayley.
I prefer the concept of coincidence too, as I feel it's easy to confuse circumstance with luck. Without going all 'law of attraction' here, the concept of luck is what you make of circumstance. Like the fact that you mentioned New Zealand is interesting as I, as a New Zealander, in some ways consider myself very 'lucky' to have grown up in this amazing country. But that's merely circumstance and circumstance can only give you so much in terms of opportunities, achievements etc.
Basically good on ya for being so hard working and no one should discredit your opportunities or achievements as 'luck'.
Also when you make it to New Zealand, please organise a gathering!
(PS I recognize your apprehension towards gatherings but Kiwis do things differently ;) We could make it the most casual, unpretentious, LOTR centered gathering ever!)
I really appreciate what you've written here. I definitely feel the same way.
I understand what you're saying, and I do agree with you. But I think that maybe when some of the people that watch your videos or read your blog refer to you as "lucky" they mean it as a reflection of themselves, rather than of you.
You seem like a person who has got everything together pretty well, has at least an idea of where you want to go, and the experiences and means behind you, to get there. I think people who feel stuck - we've all been there - and unable to change things can't help but idealise the lifestyles they are presented with on the internet. Even though what we're seeing obviously isn't the whole story.
Again, I might have, probably have, missed the point here. I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry for the pointlessness of what I'm about to say, which is basically, try not to take it too personally. Hopefully for every few people that throw the word lucky at you there are a few more who have got things figured out enough to say they'll see you there next year. Or something.
I very often use the word 'lucky' when I suppose, technically, I mean 'fortunate'. And when I say "You're so lucky for X", I often mean "That's pretty cool, must be a great experience" or whatever. I don't generally mean it to express resentment or jealousy - usually I mean it more as a general pleasantry, I guess. I can kind of see where you're coming from, but I think people mostly don't mean it like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that esp in informal settings, people (or, at least, I) often just say things according to their connotations, rather than exact definitions, which in the end are socially constructed too anyway. Definitely an interesting blog post, though, and I'll probably be more aware of the words when I use them now - I probably use the word 'lucky' a lot, so I hope I haven't offended anyone!
YOU ARE SO WHINY
I really love this post, Kayley. Many times people make things about themselves. The grass is always greener on the other side. What they don't realize is the work you put into accomplishing those things. People shouldn't be jealous of others. Instead, they should work harder to be able to experience the things that are important to them.
I feel like I've said this a couple of times and I certainly haven't meant it in that way. It's just a word that gets thrown around. I do see your point though, if you think about it, it is really undermining. This has been something I've been trying to teach myself lately, to pay more attention to the language I use. So, yes, good post. Please, don't let this kind of thing discourage you from sharing your experiences, it's actually very inspiring.
PS. It was nice talking to you for a bit on Wednesday, you seem like a cool person irl.
I disagree entirely, Kayley. I'm sorry but having the opportunities you have is not simply "hard work". I would love to study abroad like you but I work a job in which I only make 600 dollars a month (and I have bills to pay), even though I work SUPER hard. and so even if I saved up for YEARS I could never afford to travel to London. EVER. I'm sorry but opportunities count as luck, even if you had to work to get to where you are. It's lucky to even have the opportunity to do so.
You always come off as really condescending and mean when you talk about peoples' comments. I wish you would just understand where some people are coming from instead of attacking us for using a word that you don't personally like.
What I was trying to say was, a lot of people live paycheck to paycheck and don't just have disposable income they can put away for conventions and traveling like you do. It's pretty silly to think you're not lucky to have that, even if you work to get it.
I agree with Erin. You were very lucky to be born into a family that supports you and have the opportunities to make the money you did. Of course, you worked very hard. No one is denying that. The truth is though, many people would LOVE to travel but they have major responsibilities at home or no way of getting the money to do this. You are one of the people whose stars aligned and, with a whole lot of hard work, you were able to achieve your dreams.
You should rethink the way you respond to compliments (yes, being called lucky is a compliment). You can come off very condescending at times and it's turning me (and others) off from your videos.
Sometimes we need to let off some steam…but there's a difference between venting to a few friends, and pure and utter condescension expressed to hundreds of blogger followers on the internet.
Actually you are just lucky. You come across as spoiled like you're born with a silver spoon in your mouth. The fact that you downplay your lucky shows how ungrateful you are. Reading your posts is sickening. All you do is go on about your fabulous life and then pretend that it's not that great. Get over yourself. By the way, there are people that deserve you "luck" more than you do.
Luck is the moment when preparation meets opportunity. You are so right that you basically make your "luck"
The only problem that I see, is if most people use the word lucky wrong, doesn't that mean its definition has changed? I mean, as they say, English is a living language and is constantly evolving. I have noticed most people say lucky when they mean fortunate, and I've caught myself doing it as well.
If the general populace uses a word incorrectly for long enough, will that eventually be accepted? I don't know. I kind of want to say an emphatic NO because, dear god, the people who say defiantly instead of definitely may eventually be in the right. :P
Oh! I also wanted to say if you look at it from a different angle a lot of the things you talk about COULD be based on luck. I am fortunate to have the husband I do, but it was pure luck that I met him. I am fortunate to have kept the friends I have, but I met most of them luckily as well.
Also, to some extent, I really hate the idea that hard work will ALWAYS pay off (because it doesn't). I think luck is involved maybe a little bit more than your post states, but I really do agree with you that the word is used incorrectly quite often and does cheapen the hard work that did pay off.
I don't know if you'll see this, but... you are so right. And I feel bad, because I've sort of been a "fan" (I guess that's the word) since the first year of 5AG and I have to say, I've spent a great deal of that time admiring you as much as I envied you. The fact is, I did think you were lucky until I read this. I guess I never saw how hard you must have worked to have gotten where you are. I'm eighteen, about to go to a college that I probably won't be able to afford (I'll probably have to quit and come back home and attend community college with what will be left of my dignity), and frankly, a lot of things are holding me back. My dream is to travel like you are, to see things, to go places, to do good and learn a great deal. And I feel held back. You're so right- you really have to work for what you get; it isn't just blessed upon you. I guess I just have to keep working, yeah? Anyway, Kayley, I'm sorry you felt insulted by people like me who, instead of admiring your hard work and being happy for you, feel jealous of what we describe as your "luck." In reality, perhaps I'm bitter of your determination, hard work, willpower, strength, wisdom, courage, and general badassery. But that's silly to me now, that I've felt that way. You are a wonderful human being and what you've been doing is amazing. I really am sorry you felt attacked, because you should be proud of what you've done, not put down for it. Thanks for this post. I have college ahead of me but one day soon, I'll be traveling and learning and loving life as much as you are... and it won't be because of luck. Thanks, Kayley. (:
I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award because I find your blog really fantastic!
I could not agree with you more. I have this same problem. Friends I have known for years frequently tell me how lucky I am that everything comes easily to me, and that I make life look effortless.
They are CRAZY! And, yes, it is envy/jealousy.
I work very hard to do everything I do. I am lucky I was born with the right genetics to make me smart. I am lucky I am reasonably attractive in the right lighting. But everything else in my life, I have worked for, and work every day to achieve.
There are other things in my life that are unlucky, I just don't wallow in them. I focus on the positive and them move on forward toward the next goal.
xoxo!
PS How do I subscribe to this blog? I don't see anything except for the atom feed. Sorry, I don't use my blogspot acct very often.
Kayley, you sweet girl. Please get out of my head. Your rants make me want to rant too. You inspire me to say what I'm thinking and feeling. I too hate the term "lucky." My husband and I live on a very small, fixed income and when people find out about it they freak out and are like "You two are lucky to be getting by." We're not lucky. If we were "lucky" we'd be rich, living comfortably and never worried about anything. We're smart and we go without a lot of luxuries. We're ok though, we don't need a lot of the stuff that other people have. I hate how people complain about how hard their lives are when they're doing fantastic in my opinion. We survive and we're happy. When we want something, we work our asses off to get it. Blog on love! <3
thank you for writing a blog about this...it's so, so annoying when people have nothing better to say than- you're lucky- when you have managed to do something, live through an experience that you have worked extra hard for and share the joy of achieving this with others..it hurts, leaves a bitter taste in your mouth..sort of makes the time and work you put in, to be able to do this thing you've wanted so much, less significant..it is offensive and i hate the fact that people who tell you how lucky you are, react offended when you try to explain the meaning of their words..it's a vicious circle..they offend you, you offend them and you can never turn it right..i struggle with this all the time, as my parents have the very bad habit of writing off everything i have achieved- university grades, friendships, languages i have managed to teach myself to pure luck or the wonderful combination of genes- which is also a very annoying thing..saying that everything i have managed to achieve(by hard work) is because i have their genes- as if they have done the work and i have only reaped the rewards..
Post a Comment